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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

What did pushing stage of Labour and baby coming out feel like?

44 replies

EveroysMum · 18/03/2023 22:16

I had DC2 a couple of weeks ago and ended up having a failed epidural, so I continued to feel the contractions and pushing stage.

As I'm not planning on having any more (and also had an epidural with DC1), I keep thinking over the birth and wondering if what I felt was actually the full thing, or whether the epidural worked a little bit, if that makes sense.

When it came to the pushing stage, I suddenly felt like I had to do a massive poo (sorry tmi) and like I couldn't help but push it out. And then a big relief once DC2 was out.

But I didn't feel crowning/ ring of fire or the second degree tear or the baby moving down the birth canal or a splitting in 2 feeling or a slippery feeling when DC2 came out...
Was this the same for anyone else?

I should say that the pushing stage was very, very quick for me this time round with just a couple of pushes (lasted just 1 minute according to my birth notes 😯and complete opposite of DC1 who took forever). So maybe everything just blurred together with the quickness of it and so I didn't register different parts of it...

I'm just trying to make sense of it, so wondered if others had felt similar in the pushing stage, or if maybe the failed epidural had worked somewhat to dull the pain... 🤔

OP posts:
Gymmum82 · 18/03/2023 22:18

I didn’t have an epidural with either of mine. DC 2 was very quick out within a push but I felt every bit of it. My body contracted on its own to push her out I had no control over it. But I felt the tearing and the ring of fire pain the same as my first. I think your epidural Must have worked a bit

HollyFern1110 · 18/03/2023 22:22

I had a failed epidural with DC1 26 years ago. It's a wonder I ever had more children!

I also don't get an urge to push & haven't with any of my three. I get a reverse urge to clench!

To answer your question I had no clue where my baby was. I knew I was in pain but couldn't specifically feel transition/crowning/being born etc.

Twizbe · 18/03/2023 22:24

I didn't have an epidural.

For both mine the urge to push felt like a reverse vomit. That whole body lurch feeling you get when you puke, except it was lurching downwards.

I've since read about the foetal expulsion reflex which is basically what it says on the tin. That apparently can be described as a reverse vomit. Wish I'd known about it at the time.

bettynutkins · 18/03/2023 22:29

I didn't have any pain relief with first and only gas and air with second. No epidural. I didn't feel the ring of fire or the tearing with either of them. They did come out pretty quickly, which is why I think!

purpledalmation · 18/03/2023 22:30

Your body takes over but it was horribly painful. Just gas and air

DorritLittle · 18/03/2023 22:39

I was in horrible pain with DS because he was pushing on my pelvis. I just remember being relieved beyond belief when it was over. I remember a slippery feeling with DD and an overwhelming urge to push. I do not remember a ring of pain with either but with DS I had had a local anaesthetic at the last minute because of an episiotomy to aid ventouse.

TooBusyGazingAtStarss · 18/03/2023 22:45

Twizbe · 18/03/2023 22:24

I didn't have an epidural.

For both mine the urge to push felt like a reverse vomit. That whole body lurch feeling you get when you puke, except it was lurching downwards.

I've since read about the foetal expulsion reflex which is basically what it says on the tin. That apparently can be described as a reverse vomit. Wish I'd known about it at the time.

This.

Why doesn't anyone warn you about such things?! 🤣

Mammyloveswine · 18/03/2023 22:46

Like I was being physically ripped apart.., I did have a nasty tear though! Other than that I had a lovely labour with ds2!

Hotpinkangel19 · 18/03/2023 22:47

I was exactly the same as you.... 4 times.

Viviennemary · 18/03/2023 22:51

I had an epidural with baby no 2 but dodnt really feel much urge to push either time, had to be told push,

MrSlant · 18/03/2023 22:53

I would say that your epidural wasn't a 100% fail, my DC2 came very quickly (under an hour start to finish including placenta) and I Felt Every Moment. It was like a normal labour but concentrated. It's the most intense thing I've ever done and ever hope to! Congratulations on your new baby and stick around to talk about it, I've always found a good few de-briefs with women who have been through similar was an important part of the post birth period.

I had an epidural (DC3) that was exactly a 50% fail except it was the left side of my body where it worked and I felt every thing on the right. TBH the not feeling anything on the left wasn't much compensation for all the sensation on the right.

USaYwHatNow · 18/03/2023 22:58

I didn't have time for any pain relief for my first, very rapid induced 5 hour labour (6 months old) and had a kiwi delivery. They numbed the perineum and did an episiotomy which they extended twice and I definitely didn't feel the ring of fire. I did feel my bowels open though and felt like a watermelon was falling out of me. He was only 6lbs 2 and 37 weeks so I dread to think what the next one may be like 😂😂

Marsyas · 18/03/2023 22:59

I didn’t have an epidural with either.DS1 I had pethidine. I didn’t feel a physical urge to push. I can only describe it as a mental urge. So it didn’t feel like, for example, if you feel the urge to be sick or to do a poo, like you can’t really stop it. But I had a thought of “I just need to do a poo and then I can have this baby”, I didn’t feel it physically but mentally. Possibly I was off my head. Anyway the delivering bit felt like pooing out an octopus. It was 15 years ago and I still remember the slithery feeling.
DS2 I just had gas and air, didn’t feel an urge to push but pushed when told, and during crowning felt like I was being split open and that I couldn’t bear it. “Get it out of me!” I remember shouting.

WeWereInParis · 18/03/2023 23:00

For various reasons I had no pain relief with either DD.

Both times I felt the pushing in a way I couldn't control, a very odd sensation but also a relief both times as it felt like finally I was getting to the end! I did feel the crowning - is crowning the same as the ring of fire? I didn't feel like it was as bad as the name made it sound, although obviously it really wasn't pleasant! If they're different things then I guess I didn't feel the ring of fire.
With DD1 I very specifically remember feeling the tearing, like a clear ripping feeling (thinking about it still makes me wince even though at the time it didn't actually hurt anymore than the general agony I was already in). With DD2 I didn't feel it at all. Both were second degree tears although with DD1 it was almost third degree so I guess maybe that's why I felt I more.

Scalessayeek · 18/03/2023 23:08

USaYwHatNow · 18/03/2023 22:58

I didn't have time for any pain relief for my first, very rapid induced 5 hour labour (6 months old) and had a kiwi delivery. They numbed the perineum and did an episiotomy which they extended twice and I definitely didn't feel the ring of fire. I did feel my bowels open though and felt like a watermelon was falling out of me. He was only 6lbs 2 and 37 weeks so I dread to think what the next one may be like 😂😂

My first was 8lb 4 at 37 weeks by NHS dates and 36w 2d based on ovulation. 😵‍💫 Second was only 9lb 3 at 39 weeks, so there is hope for you yet 😆

USaYwHatNow · 18/03/2023 23:24

@Scalessayeek i really hope so 😂 although I'm a midwife, so I think I'm just destined to try everything the NHS has to offer... Pre eclampsia, kiwi delivery, probs a PPH next time with a 12lbs baby knowing my luck 😂

Lady1576 · 18/03/2023 23:26

Yep my pushing stage felt exactly like yours with number 2 and I had no pain relief.

Iamthemusic · 18/03/2023 23:46

I had no pain relief in either labour (not by choice, just laboured much too fast).

Crowning felt like being stretched/ripped. I remember sort of having to will myself to push anyway. It really felt like it was doing damage. Like the squirm factor of cutting off one of your own fingers. it was painful but my contractions were so painful they made other types of pain feel less consequential I think. I felt relief as crowning meant the contractions would nearly be over. After the very stretching/ripping/burning bit the baby sort of suddenly flops out quickly, that's a surreal feeling. A bit body horror. This huge wet thing, like a fish, passing out of a hole in your body that isn't usually there (at that size I mean). It kind of felt to me like I was losing something, like being painlessly disemboweled. However at the same time the enormous, sweet relief that the contractions are over is a wonderful feeling. Overall, it's a hard thing to describe.

I would guess it's possible your epidural partially worked but then everyone's experience of labour is so different. Some people don't feel much when crowning.

Iamthemusic · 18/03/2023 23:49

I had 2 X 2nd degree tears so also that's a pretty plausible reason why it felt like I was ripping myself apart haha. Maybe it just doesn't feel like that if you don't tear?

Lovelydaytomorrow · 18/03/2023 23:54

Pushing and coming out bit was incredibly painful for me both times. (gas and air)

Contractions were also excruciating, but in a different way- for me, contractions were a completely overwhelming wave of pain, where I couldn't see, couldn't speak, I was just consumed and in the 'zone' of the pain.

The 'coming out pain' was a proper, horrific 'ouch' kind of pain. I don't really know how to describe it, but I was totally more with it than during contraction and could just say (shout), "ow, ow ow this fucking hurts". It was just like being ripped in two. Then afterwards, all I could say (2nd time) was "Jesus fucking Christ, I forgot how fucking painful that part is, I'm never ever ever doing it again". I've never experienced pain as bad, and hope to never again! (I'd still do it all again tomorrow if I was younger and didn't have to pay for IVF!)

Pushing was very quick for me too. Like a huge urge for an enormous poo. And 1st time my body just did it for me (upright in water), second time I had to do a couple of pushes (upright on dry land).

Original poster
EveroysMum · 18/03/2023 23:54

Thanks so much everyone for all the replies
and for sharing your experiences - much appreciated!

I guess it just shows again that everyone's experience of labour is unique - so I won't probably be able to ever know if what I felt was "it" or not!

As some have commented, perhaps the epidural didn't completely fail - or maybe my experience was just like some pp who felt similar to me, and it would have been like that with or without the epidural!

OP posts:
Lovelydaytomorrow · 18/03/2023 23:57

Iamthemusic · 18/03/2023 23:49

I had 2 X 2nd degree tears so also that's a pretty plausible reason why it felt like I was ripping myself apart haha. Maybe it just doesn't feel like that if you don't tear?

I didn't tear at all and that's still exactly what it felt like.

I told my midwife I felt I needed to push and what should I do (because sometimes on TV, they'll tell them not to push yet, just pant!) And she said to just do what I felt I should.

I replied that I felt I should push, but if I did, I'd rip in half, and so I therefore felt I shouldn't push!

emmetgirl · 18/03/2023 23:59

Like shitting a bowling ball

savethatkitty · 19/03/2023 00:07

Felt like burning, searing, stinging pain. As soon as baby was out, burning & stinging stopped

MissMaple82 · 19/03/2023 00:19

Like I was being ripped in half!

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