Anyone regret an elective C section?

[Gracebaker]

This may be a bit of an unusual post but I just wondered if any other mums in the same boat.

I requested a c section for the birth of my first baby 18 months ago. I was so certain it was what I wanted at the time (I work in healthcare and have seen VB go wrong many times plus seem a lot of the after effects of VB). No one could have talkEd me out of it.

So it was super easy to get an elective c section booked, however i went into labour a few days before it was scheduled. As it happens I progressed very quickly and on arriving at the hospital two hours after waters broke I was already 8cm dilated! As I was booked for c sec they took me for the elective c section but as an ‘emergency’.

It was all fine and recovery no problem . Everything was fine. I’ve had zero issues post partum, breastfeeding was good, DS has always been healthy and happy. But I can’t help but feel disappointed about my birth story. I feel disappointed in myself that I didn’t birth him naturally when I feel like that’s what my body wanted to do.

Obviously I don’t know what would have happened for sure but after the csec the midwife said he would have been born within 30mins if I’d carried on, and I often think back to the birth and wish I’d said I didn’t want the c section.

Weirdly I feel like I wasn’t given much of an option to try to birth naturally at the time as he was coming so quickly I think they just wanted to get me to theatre asap.

Anyway I don’t really know what the point of this thread is. Just that I feel disappointed with my perfectly fine and non traumatic birth. I think about the two hours I had in (quite intense) labour as the best parts of my birth experience, and feel I let myself down by having the c section.

Whenever anyone talks about their VB - whether it was a horrible one or not - I always feel quite triggered, jealous even, and it brings these feelings back of not being good enough and just generally being a bit lame.

Anyone out there experience something similar or am I just being crazy?!

if I get pregnant again I’m thinking I’ll try for VBAC.

If I’d have accepted a section I definitely would have regretted it - they were threatening it along with induction due to last minute scan which said 9 pound 13 - baby came born vaginally no issues 8 pound 6!! I’m sure I’d have then regretted a section massively once I found out baby was a normal size. But then I really didn’t want the recover of abdominal surgery as I had 2 horses!
You know how your body reacts to labour now, so a VBAC should work well for you in future.

I had read a lot of information about c section, induction and I am afraid of it, would newer accep it without serious reason. Now I am close to give birth to my 5th baby naturaly and no pain relief again.

I’ve had a VB for DC1 and elective for DC2.

My VB was a lot more full on and I was proud of myself for getting through labour as I was so petrified of it. However DC1 came out with their hands crossed over their head and could have so easily needed their shoulder dislocating. They needed lots of cranial osteopathy afterwards due to a very strong ventouse suction and we were also readmitted at 3 days for bad jaundice. It was a complete emotional rollercoaster.

My elective was very scary in the build up as I’d never had surgery before. My DC2 was an even higher risk of shoulder dystocia and I just couldn’t risk it. The op itself was so civilised and I was immediately crying and overwhelmed when they were handed to me. With DC1 I was so in shock from the ventouse, episiotomy and 24 hour labour I don’t even think I fully registered what had happened.

Sorry for the long reply but I just wanted to reassure you that a VB is in no way a superior experience to a c-section. It’s just different. And each birth is individual and special. I always think DC2 entered the world in such a calm manner. They were handed to me and just chatted away happily. Whereas DC1 was screaming and covered in blood with a huge cone head from the ventouse!!

If your baby was healthy, who cares.

I had a natural birth & it traumatised me, & due to the length I was left in Labour, my baby suffered a brain injury. Don't think about what could have happened, be bloody grateful to have had the experience you did. I would give a lot to have been able to swap positions with you. 💐

Yes you can choose. It's in the NICE guidelines.

@MattieandmummyandIs Thought I'd written the first paragraph myself. Hugs to you. I'm 4 years on too strangely enough & it's still with me every day. Now pregnant with my 2nd, something I never thought I'd be brave enough for but here I am. ❤️

Your baby is safe and you are well so I would just feel happy to have had him ❤️

I regret my c section deeply. I had 2 previous natural births and elected for a csection because they told me 3rd baby was going to be large, he was, but still, I wish I’d have gone through with the induction as the lasting effects of the csection has been awful for me. He is my last baby now because I darent put my body through it again.

Oh hell no. I had both of mine by c section - one emergency and one elective. Both were excellent, positive, experiences and I recovered quickly and smoothly. Surely a safely delivered baby and safe mum are more important than how it happened. That’s the ultimate goal, and the only important one.

With such a quick labour you may well have ended up with quite significant tearing and damage. A few of my friends who had babies c.3 years ago at the same time as me had quick births and they are all still struggling with the after effects now. One friend is in daily pain as a result.

Of course that might not have happened to you, but it could have done, and you'd be sat there wishing you had just gone for the c-section you really wanted.

I've had one of each. Both started with induction, both ended in emergency deliveries. First was an emergency ventouse delivery and second was emergency c section. I actually found healing from both pretty easy physically, my episiotomy was more uncomfortable than my c section initially although did heal quicker.
I did struggle mentally more with my c section though as I just didn't expect it. I found it really hard to not be allowed to do basic things and suffered terrible insomnia for the first 2-3 weeks but I'm a year on now and absolutely fine.
I do have a slight issue with my little tummy pouch above my scar as it won't bloody shift but it's hardly the end of the world. I have 2 healthy babies and that's all that matters.

I felt similar - had an ELCS after two (truly terrible, mismanaged) labours. My ELCS was perfect, wonderful team, healthy baby but I still have the feeling I could have (finally!) done it first naturally. The feeling has faded over the years though.

I think there is stigma around a c section whether it's due to an elective procedure or an emergency one.

Both of my c sections were emergencies and I still feel like I've let myself down and "failed" at a proper delivery. Even though I know that's silly as it was medically required.

What I will say is try not to be so hard on yourself, you picked what was right for yourself at the time and following your instinct is always the best thing to do

I feel a bit like I’ve never given birth. But ultimately my children are healthy and I had zero issues so i don’t regret it.

I've had a VB and an elective section.

Unless you 'breathe the baby out' have no tears/stitches etc I can't for the life of me imagine why anyone would do it again.

My first amass traumatic. Not at the time but on reflection and in terms of the life long affects it has in my body.

Section every day.

There's a reason thousands of people pay thousands, privately for c section births.

(And before a poster just has to pipe up, yes you can pay privately for VB too, but this is handfuls in comparison)

Do you really think all these people would do that if they didn't feel a) it was the best option, and b) made them any less of a mother?

My mum peed when she sneezed for years after having me, and I nearly lost a toe in her ribs during my birth. Stitches. Tears.

Not for me, thank you.

It's ok to be happy with the way you gave birth. It's not ok to suggest someone is less of a mother if they didn't do it the same as you. The "well, of course, I refused all pain relief, and birthed all my children in under an hour" and think they are superior for it, are some of the most insufferable twunts you will ever encounter.

I had an elective and am still very happy with that decision. I had no intention of putting myself through a vaginal birth unless I absolutely had to, due to panic disorder and a painful vulval condition which I feared would be exacerbated by labour.

But even without those reasons, I still think an elective was the right choice for me. It seems on balance to be the lowest risk overall, which is how I like my life. I've had a few people say 'Oh I'm sorry' when I say I had a c section, and I honestly find it baffling - the baby is all that matters, there's nothing to be sorry about. (I had others say 'Very sensible' too.)

This is a really interesting thread. I'm 30 weeks and trying to decide between a VBAC and an elective. I was leaning towards vbac until a colleague had an absolutely awful time a couple of weeks ago during her vbac birth that ended in forceps then an emergency c section. She now has ptsd. I don't want to risk anything like that but also heard some positive vbac stories so no idea what to do.

My DTs are ivf babies, born by elcs and I couldn’t bf them. At the time, I felt like a complete failure as both a mother and a woman, but I was drowning in pnd and couldn’t see the woods for the trees.

The reality is, I made the best decision for me and my babies, and I’m pathetically grateful for modern medicine for both enabling me to get pregnant, that the three of us didn’t die due to severe pe and dt2 having breathing difficulties upon birth, and for formula being available to keep them alive. I’m a bloody rockstar, and so are you!

Me, a bit! Like you I have an 18 month old son, identical reasons for wanting a c-section. It was difficult to get it agreed and in the end he needed to come out early so I was induced which was awful and did absolutely nothing so I said please stop I want a c section.

I found the recovery quite challenging, not pain wise but the not being able to lie down to sleep or lie on my side to co sleep for a while. We also struggled with breastfeeding and I wonder if things would have been different with a VB. The other thing is the c section overhang, my god I hate it. To be fair I'm not helping with my weight but still.

I think if I had another I'd try for a vbac. Knowing my luck I'd end up with severe birth injuries and a c section overhang!

I have had 2 emergency c sections, first was a “crash” one. I really wanted a vbac but my babies don’t tolerate labour and I worry what would have happened if I didn’t have the sections. On the other hand, I’m so so upset I didn’t have a vaginal birth and I worry I was duped into a section? (Even tho I know the doctors only doing what’s safest.) So I know how ur feeling.
I’m jealous of those who want the c section so I think u did what was right for you. And you should be proud of that.

VB 1: baby ended up in ICU due to prolonged labour and I was so insistent on a minimal intervention birth that noone realised he was back to back and in distress (born in his waters so no clues externally).

VB2: prolonged labour, baby got stuck, ended up with instrumental delivery during which an anatomically unusual artery of mine got cut into and I ended up admitted for a week having blood transfusions and antibiotics.

All in all I'd say I regret not going for elective sections!

@MissMarpleBum I completely understand you saying it's with you every day. I still get so upset by birth stories not going to plan or by sick children. If I see a child with cerebral palsy it upsets me terribly. The pain of that 15 mins where it all went badly wrong during her birth - it's like it's burnt into me.

Having said all this, actually going ahead and having number 2 is for me the best thing I chose to do. Being handed an alive, perfectly fine baby at birth was just incredible and having a child that everyone assumes is fine rather than one where every medical encounter is basically a doctor watching for something that's wrong is such a gift. My second baby has been a lovely experience and I am so so glad I had her. I hope your second baby can put to rest a lot of your pain around your first birth as it has for me. X

I had two fairly straightforward VB, the second at home. I am absolutely petrified at the idea of a Caesarean, terrified at not being in control of the situation. Although I had a few stitches with my first it was a thrilling experience. I feel, Probably irrationally, that it is sad some people don’t get to feel it.

Well, my first c section wasn't really elective. It was necessary because I had placenta praevia and the placenta didn't move by the birth. I had no choice because we could have died. I was very grateful for it really, because if it was 200 years ago, we probably would have just died. I was delighted to have my daughter here. My second was more complicated. I had gestational diabetes, so I was offered the choice of c section or induction. They wouldn't let me go beyond 40 weeks naturally - also because I was over 40 and thee was a higher risk of still birth. The c section was a bit traumatic due to too much bleeding but I am thrilled that she's here. Do I wonder what vaginally birth would have been like? Occasionally. But as was said before, I think we romanticise different forms of giving birth. The truth is that most births are painful and traumatic. If someone cared that I had c sections instead of v births, I wouldn't bother talking to them again.