Why do I feel bad?

[Mumlifeandme]

I had a beautiful baby girl at 38 weeks following an induction. She is my second baby. First baby was induction for hypertension and I had a vaginal birth. This time round I asked to be induced because I had hypertension (medicated), had 5 episodes of reduced movements, baby felt small and had reduced growth on scan previously but had since been fine on scan. I just felt like something wasn’t right. I also developed severe pelvic girdle pain and couldn’t walk or get out of bed without crying or being in a lot of pain. So I asked them to induce me. I had to go through two/3 doctors before they agreed. Anyways my waters ended up going naturally during the induction process and then a few hours later her heart rate wasn’t coping and I ended up having an emergency CS. I was only 2cm, and it also turned out that we both had an infection and baby ended up on iv abx for five days after. She was born 2.5 kg (3rd centile) which means she was very small and not growing well. All in all we are both fine now. I feel like it’s my fault we ended up having a CS because I insisted for an induction at 37 weeks but equally my husband is saying I was correct to insist as she wasn’t growing well and because of everything that was going on. I just feel so conflicted because I ended up having a CS, and feel like it was my fault for insisting. But then I was having so many reduced movements in the third trimester.. don’t know if any of this makes sense but just want someone to tell me I did the right thing

You might have saved your baby's life. You may have pushed for induction for your own worries but your tiny child was born safely when they weren't thriving in the womb. I understand that the whole scenario is filled with emotion but imo you have done tge right thing.

If she wasn’t growing well it’s better that you did push for induction! Well done for trusting your instincts. Congratulations on your new baby and I’m sorry you had a tough start.

You are your baby's advocate, you totally did the right thing. We had reduced growth with our ds and we had planned c section at 37 weeks, our consultant said after 37 weeks with reduced growth there is little benefit to continuing in womb and the risk to continue in the womb for longer outweighs the benefit so out he came at 37 weeks.
Congratulations on your little girl

You did the right thing OP, you very possibly could have saved your DD's life. I know it's difficult, but please don't feel bad. She and you are both healthy now, and that is what matters most. Enjoy your time with your baby girl guilt free, you deserve it - congratulations on her by the way!

You did the right thing.

IUGR baby, plus reduced movements on top of an undiagnosed infection meant your baby was in trouble. Thank goodness your maternal instincts were on point, and you were brave enough to insist action was taken. Huge kudos to you, I could only hope if I were in the same situation I would do the same.

As for the caesarean, it's nobody's fault. In the same circumstances, if you had gone into labour naturally, I imagine baby would have equally become distressed, and the caesarean was therefore inevitable.

I would request a birth afterthoughts meeting. Talk to a senior midwife about the induction, labour, and birth. It really helps. I had one after my DC2 was born by emergency C-section after DC1 had been a vaginal birth. Both were 37 week inductions, and after being told second children come quicker and easier, I couldn't work out where I'd gone wrong. Turns out the position he was in meant that he was stuck, and undeliverable. The C-section was needed, and no amount of extra labouring would have changed the outcome, except for the worse.

And so, in summary.

YOU DID THE RIGHT THING

You absolutely did the right thing OP

If it wasn't for your decision your baby may very well not have been here today

I say this as a mother of a girl who had to be born premature due to restricted growth (its what the Dr's recommended and I had started getting contractions that felt wrong anyway)

Even though she was small it was clear that being born early was what she needed as she's now a healthy, thriving toddler

Thank you all. It helps to read that and hear someone else’s perspectives. I’d convinced myself that somehow it was my fault because of the induction. @Dyra my health visitor suggested an afterthoughts meeting but I haven’t yet heard back. I will text her again. Hearing your story helps because I was convinced I was going to have a lovely normal birth as DC1 had come out flying so I assumed I would get a vaginal birth again and it would be easier.