I have an 18 month old. I was induced at my due date and after 2 pessaries went into labour. After 24 hours of active labour sat at 7cm dilated I asked for a scan as believed something was wrong, and due to the positioning of my baby I had to have an emergency c section. I healed up fine and am due with number 2 in 7 weeks.
As these have been IVF pregnancies I am under a consultant during my pregnancy. They discussed my plans for birth after the 12 week scan, and I explained that I want a VBAC if possible, and only a c section if it becomes an emergency. They said that this was fine, the risks were higher but lots of women choose this route. However, to induce me they will have to use rods to manually open my cervix so that they can break my waters. A consensus wasn't reached, and I saw a different consultant today after my growth scan.
I have vaginismus and have not been able to tolerate any internal exams. I could not manage sweeps with my last pregnancy and the pessary took over an hour with multiple attempts and over a whole canister of the gas and air. Having the embryo transfer done was basically impossible, and was almost cancelled due to the pain I was in. I have said over and over again that I am willing to try the pessary again, I know it will be incredibly painful but I have managed before and I will manage again.
The consultant has said that it is too risky to use a pessary as there is a bigger chance that the c section scar will rupture, but the rods do not increase this risk, which is already fairly common at 1 in 200 women rupturing after a c section, natural or induced. However, the only pain relief I would be offered is codeine or pethidine, both of which I react really badly to, and the rods can take days to work. I know that I will not be able to tolerate something tampon sized sat in my cervix expanding for days, I can't even use tampons when not pregnant, nevermind them being in my cervix!
The consultant has said that if I refuse the rods I have to have a c section, there is no other option. I have asked what the increased risk is, she can't tell me, just that it's higher. I asked if I could have an epidural to block the pain, she said that you can't have them for that many days as it becomes unsafe. She is now pushing for me to have a c section.
I am a single parent and my 18 month old is the size of an average 4/5 year old, is extremely clingy and doesn't deal with change (he is being looked at for ASD), so a voluntary c section isn't an option when it means not being able to look after my son for weeks.
I don't know what to do, I keep coming away in tears because I'm not being listened to, and no-one can tell me how much it increases my risk or give me an alternative that won't leave me in unbearable pain for days. Has anyone been through this and found a pathway that both you and the consultant are happy with?
If you did have the rods to be induced how much worse was the pain than a pessary, or an embryo transfer? I am absolutely terrified and my consultant has given me no way forward that I am remotely comfortable with.