Terrified first timer

[Fleurie76]

I'm a first time Mum and 25 weeks and this week I had my first ante natal yoga and NCT classes and unfortunately this has brought all my fears about giving birth to the fore . It wasn't the content of the classes or the teachers (who were lovely) but just the fact that time is going so fast and knowing I've got to face this soon!
I've always had a huge fear of childbirth (don't know quite where this all stems from traumatic birth in previous life? ) but I am utterly terrified and I don't know what to do in order not to spend the rest of my pregancy in abject fear of something that is going to happen anyway!
I've been really good so far and not really panicked about it but had a major panic about it last night, having one now and this is not good for me or the baby.
Any advice ladies?, really down about the whole thing and have just about lost any excitment I had about being pregnant and being a Mum.
Sorry for the depressing post but home alone and a bit sad.

DON'T READ ANYMORE BLOGS....GO INTO IT WITH NO KNOWLEDGE AND AN OPEN MIND.

EVERYONES EXPERIENCES ARE THEIRS NOT URS.

GOOD LUCK!

I had my first baby in December and felt very similar to you - i threw myself into learning everything i could about childbirth, trying to abate the horror i thought it would be.... a friend of mine did the hypnobirthing course and raves about her birth as being a beautiful tranquil experience. my daughter's birth was amazing- i was sent to the mental health mother and baby unit for sessions with a psychologist due to a severe needle phobia during my pregnancy and it helped me a lot - your doctor might be able to refer you to someone useful like this?? despite all my fears the actual birth was just something completely awesome - almost like my body just knew what it was doing and produced this enormous strength that i didn't even know i had. i have patchy memories of it despite not having any drugs until the very last minute, and it was not nearly the kind of pain i thought it would be. it all seemed strangely constructive and a bit sublime after all my worrying. i think i had imagined myself into such a lather that reality paled into insignificance compared to my wild expectations. Be brave!

I was VERY TERRIFIED for the whole of my first pregnancy - just fear of the unknown, fear of pain etc. etc. etc. I had been afraid all my life of what it would be like to give birth, in fact!

I felt it was the most enormous challenge and if I could get through that, i could get thru anything, but i was INCREDIBLY FEARFUL.

Everyone in my antenatal group was stressing about how they would cope with a newborn baby........ I was just desperate to have the newborn baby in my arms because it would mean the labour was over! I couldn't think beyond the labour. Newborn baby? what's that? I have to do the bloody LABOUR THING first"!!!! THAT'S the real challenge.

Well, i don't have much to advise you with, but if there was one thing that helped me towards the end of my pregnancy, it was the knowledge that my body was meant to be pregnant, it was designed to conceive and to give birth, and on a real primeval level, that was it's purpose. So I just trusted in my body.

I had the baby...... over 11 yrs ago now. And guess what: I had 2 more after that! and wasn't nearly so stressed about giving birth to the 2nd and 3rd.

Good luck - thinking of you. YOU WILL BE OK

I remember being in your position too, I disocvered the book Birthing from Within by Pam England, she has a great technique for tracking and working with birth fears and the Ina Mae Gaskin mentioned above. both really helped me get my head around it all, but it is the unknown and the fear based culture we live in which really fuels the fire- remember worry is the work of pregnancy, it is important work that you are doing worrying.
Around the world 300,000 other women will be birthing their babies on the same day you are, and try not to attach to the outcome of your birth, if I do/ don't do xxxx then I have succeeded/ failed....