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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

I am now officially overdue and am bloody FED UP

56 replies

FillyjonkisCALM · 07/02/2008 17:50

I think the baby is the wrong way around, ie OP (Ina May has been of help here).

So birth probably either not imminant, or long and painful.

I am so bloody fed up, I want to hug my kids and I can't, not really, not properly. I can't run around after them and I am grumpy.

And if ANYONE mentions sex I shall throw a large cup of cold decaff coffee in their face...

OP posts:
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ticks · 08/02/2008 19:38

sorry - should have said, she was born face up hence me seeing her face first as i was squatting and they lifted her up

FillyjonkisCALM · 09/02/2008 07:20

thank all

have actually gotten my head around this and have realised what the problem actually IS

It is that my mw is very very insistant that

a. I will need to be indued on Monday week if I have not delivered by then. I don't want a fight with her, but I just don't want an induction unless someone can convince me its medically necessary. I know a little about statistics and I am about these, though I haven't looked into it fully.

b. She is saying that I can't be admitted to the MLU after 42 weeks, which means that if I wanted to go in I would have to go onto the wards. The main reason why I'd go in would be if it were upsetting the kids and if, due to timing, there was nowhere else for them to go.

I am ok with waiting for the baby to be born now, it gives me some extra time with the kids and the only problem really is the endless answerphone stuff-have disconnected it as it WAS making me feel that I was somehow failing to do something .

off to google NICE guidelines (assume it is NICE?)

OP posts:
FillyjonkisCALM · 09/02/2008 07:53

oh also, the other problem is that for me, I always get lots of painful false labour contractions for about a week beforehand. And this IS pretty exhausing

have been on the homebirth UK site and realised that this is very normal with a back-to-back presentation-its the baby trying to turn. Fair enough really. Dunno why my mw couldn't have told me that though

OP posts:
seasidemama · 09/02/2008 08:26

Oh I really feel for you with the false labour contractions. They drove me mad. In the end I had two of those microwave wheat bag things sewn together with elastic so I could have one round bump and one on my back whilst walking around - maybe that would help?

I'd guess it's NICE - AIMS might be able to help too?

Lulumama · 09/02/2008 09:05

NICE and AIMS are good for this

you can refuse induction as you know and have expectant management

baby might well have arrived any way before a week on monday !

positive thoughts and visualisations !

FillyjonkisCALM · 09/02/2008 10:03

thanks both

I am veering towards thinking that this baby will be born when it is ready, and so I am not going to do anything to bring it on. I don't have a huge amount of confidence in my dates, we weren't ttc or anything and no periods in 5 years (pg, bf, pg, bf) so no idea really. And then I didn't have a scan for a very long time (until around 15 weeks ), and also, for some reason, they didn't record an EDD from the first scan ANYWAY-so its from the second one, at about 22 weeks.

I think I thought that women always got earlier and earlier with their babies, so ds was 5 days over, dd I went into labour on the due date (but she was born 3 days later)... this one should thusly have been here by now (4 days over). But have search MN archives and this just isn't so, its how things TEND to be but its not 100%.

My plan is thusly to relax about the whole thing and enjoy a bit of extra time with just the 2 kids . But if need be, I have decided I will also refuse induction on Monday week and instead do the stuff that NICE says re monitoring, and just accept that this DOES mean I might end up on the wards.

I know it might not happen, but I think I need to know what COULD happen, and have a plan for it, as that is what is really stressing me out.

I do love MN for times like this...

I don't want to fight with the mws though, I've had to do it every single time so far over different things and its not what I want to be doing atm. I would never personally have an unassisted birth but I am starting to see why people do (much to my astonishment)...its just wearing to be having to argue for this stuff...I get why people might say "ah bugger off, I know what I'm doing, I'll call you if needed"

OP posts:
Lulumama · 09/02/2008 10:07

EDD is just that, estimated !! based on a 28 day cycle, conveived day 14. i am the only person i know who fits that criteria

we get soooo hung up on 40 weeks bringing a baby... very often baby needs to stay in utero for 41 +, i know kittywise goes 42 - 43 weeks and her babies are all fine.... some women need to cook their babies longer....

i have no doubt that however and whenever baby arrives, it will be fine, you will cope and all will be well.

FillyjonkisCALM · 09/02/2008 10:15

thanks lulu

am also noticing increasingly that the language used is not good

it is stuff like "FALIURE to progress"
"overdue"

and other stuff that my brain can't remember

I do kind of feel that this belies a general attitude of it being bad and worrying to go over. And a lack of confidence in women, really. And there doesn't actually seem to be much justification for this.

OP posts:
Lulumama · 09/02/2008 10:21

yes, it is a lot of negative language, that can really have an impact on a woman. as someone who had an em c.s for failure to progress, i know where you are coming from.!
often, the failure to progress is excacerbated by the way a woman is treated in labour, so should you end up in hospital remember to stay mobile, you do not have to have CFM unless absolutely necessary, you do not have to lie on your back to deliver, you can request darkness and silence , your DH might have to be a strong advocate for you

BUT that is all presuming fillyJNR has not appeared within the next 9 days

seasidemama · 09/02/2008 10:23

The language I think is really unfortunately chosen. Their is no "failure" possible in managing to deliver a baby - whether weeks early, right on time, or weeks late, as you say, they come when they are ready.

You're not failing to do anything, or bad at anything! Relax, and try not to let any unnecessary medic-anxiety get to you - especially if your dates are so vague - it is their anxiety not yours.

FillyjonkisCALM · 09/02/2008 10:40

yes I think that what happens if things are different to the model is not often enough discussed

There is PLENTY of info out there on how to manage a normal, non-overdue, straightforward birth

I am feeling though that once things get a little difficult, you are much more on your own, it seems to become the default that you have a medicalised birth (am I correct in saying that women generally need epidurals if they are induced?)

I feel a lot more confident and less stressed now, with this information. I can be optimistic and think "well I probably won't need this anyway" BUT it makes such a difference to me to know that, if I go overdue, these are my options, not some great scary vista of inductions and caesareans.

so thank you all!

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hollyhobbie · 09/02/2008 12:06

Hi Fillyjonk, glad to hear you are feeling happier.

In an earlier post I said my mum had used castor oil to induce labour and so many people replied and said 'no! no!' that I'm curious why it's so bad?
I was born in the early 70's and opinion has obviously moved on since then and I'd love to be up to date with latest thinking.

Did you get your hat made? It looked great. Wish I could knit.

FillyjonkisCALM · 09/02/2008 17:47

oh yes, didn't mean to be dismissive of this, but I know its considered to be possibly dangerous

I know it was used a lot in the 70s, also opinion is pretty divided on it.

let me find a link as to why

OP posts:
duchesse · 09/02/2008 17:50

A lot of crawling around on all fours- if possible you want to shift the little sod round into standard presentation. Maybe then the head will engage properly and get things going...

duchesse · 09/02/2008 17:53

Sorry- I see that a few people already mentioned that. Worked for me though- after two OP labours I was quite keen not to go for a third. Pruners' post is sound.

duchesse · 09/02/2008 17:56

in response to one of your previous posts about babies coming earlier and earlier: mine came later and later... (41+3, 41+4, 41+6)

duchesse · 09/02/2008 17:58

And my sister has 44 week pregnancies! Second one was born too early at 42 weeks, still covered in vernix. Even the French medical staff agreed he could have stayed in longer.

rainbowdays · 09/02/2008 21:25

From :
www.storknet.com/cubbies/childbirth/exah2.htm

Castor oil to encourage the onset of labor. It is thought to act in one of several possible ways. By creating strong and spasmodic cramps of the intestines (which lie around and above the uterus at the end of pregnancy) it might cause a reflexive cramping and spasms of the uterine muscle, which might then turn into labor. It might work by having a dehydrating effect, and thereby causing uterine irritability from dehydration, and then labor ensues. It might stimulate the release of prostaglandins from the inflammation of the intestines. Or it may have no real connection to the onset of labor at all, and be merely an unpleasant placebo, and the reported effects simply coincidence, since most women who take it are at the end of pregnancy anyhow and will eventually go into labor.

The effectiveness of castor oil to encourage the onset of labor is questionable. It is generally considered safe, although there are some who believe that it increases the risk of meconium passage in the infant. It has not been well studied, which is surprising considering how long this old remedy has been in use. It seems to be relatively safe, although there is concern that if it does in fact work to induce labor, does it carry the risks of other methods of induction? (These risks include fetal distress from too strong contractions, increased risk of uterine rupture especially in a scarred uterus, unintentional prematurity of the baby, increased pain level for the mom, and a few other risks). Are the benefits such that the risks are outweighed? I would suggest that any pregnant woman who is considering trying to induce her own labor by this or any other method, including herbs, be sure that her baby is ready to be born. Sometimes there are reasons why labor does not start when we think it should, including a baby that hasn't gotten into a good position to be born from. I also highly recommend that the pregnant woman consult with her prenatal and birth care provider (midwife or doctor) in advance of trying this.

If you take castor oil, expect to develop severe diarrhea and cramps when it kicks in. Uterine contractions often follow, and occasionally develop into labor. Hopefully the last of the castor oil will be expelled before the time comes to push out the baby, and the diarrhea won't have made you too sore for comfortable pushing. Bedtime is a common time when people take this, but then you might end up in the bathroom all night, and be tired if labor starts in the daytime. One person I know suggests setting your alarm for 4 in the morning, taking the dose, and then going back to sleep until the cramps start.

Personally, I would have to be pretty desperate to take castor oil. If one of my pregnant ladies really wants to take it, and she is more than 39 weeks pregnant, I will give her the recipe. I have not seen it be very successful. Most of those for whom it works are already 2 - 3 cm dilated and have been having contractions (but not labor) for weeks.

rainbowdays · 09/02/2008 21:27

Filly - just thought I would paste one of the websites I read up on.... sure you have found other websites by now

MrsEi25 · 09/02/2008 21:29

hi i didnt realise that the vernix was only on babies that were considered 'too early' my DD was born at 41+4 weeks and was COVERED in the stuff it was caked in all her creases and all over her face!! there is a pic on my profile of her being weighed and she had been wiped as best as the MW could and she has still got loads on her!! i did have extra waters though so i dont know whether this made a difference!!
fillyjonk how are you feeling today?? apart from the impatience i felt when over my EDD i enjoyed the last 11 days of my preg...esp when pepole who dont 'know' ask when i was due and i answered last week etc... it was funny watching people squirm and look at you as if you were about to give birth right there in the asda/pub (drinking o.j of course)/corner shop
enjoy your last few days as it will go so quickly in hindsight
xx ei xx

MrsEi25 · 09/02/2008 21:33

sorry the first bit was directed at duchesse
xx ei xx

aviatrix · 09/02/2008 21:33

This reply has been deleted

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norkmaiden · 09/02/2008 21:42

Filly - re epidurals and inductions, fwiw I was induced at 12 days over (13 by the time ds arrived), via artificial rupture - labour was fast and intense but was well under 3 hours all told. Just had g&a, v. tiny tear. Was all good!

norkmaiden · 09/02/2008 21:44

(oh induction was due to irregularities in ds heart trace - consensus was to get him out asap, which I was more than happy with.)

mistlethrush · 09/02/2008 21:51

I had accupuncture - in my case to encourage arrival after 38wks (bump was huge, ds was 10.5 at 39wks - sorry Filly) - but I also think that accupuncture is known to be able to help turn babies in some instances.

Hope it goes well and soon whatever!