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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Third Baby after 2 3rd degree tears, VB or CS?

35 replies

Aria095 · 07/02/2023 02:50

I had 3rd degree tear with first daughter 2019. I was on all fours but she had her hand on her face so presumed that is why I tore so bad. Also apparently I have a short perineum…

My second daughter was born 2021, 17 months later. I had no complications from first tear and was advised it’s extremely rare to tear badly a second time. Birthed on all fours (again helps reduce tearing) midwives tried to apply compression but baby was already crowning when we arrived at the hospital so not much time to do that, 3a tear again, didn’t even get to feed baby before being taken to theatre for repair, very sad being whisked away from baby again, was quite disappointed as everyone had said how uncommon it is to tear that bad a second time. Didn’t help me feel sorry for myself.

Im pregnant with my third baby now, still no complications from tears, but now weighing up my options more seriously this time. I’d rather not have c-section but if I had a seriously bad tear again or worse, and end up with major incontinance issues chances are I will regret not having a c-section every day for the rest of my life. I know you can still get issues with c-section, but it’s weighing up the risks…

I know here is no right or wrong choice, just go with what gives you the most peace. I am interested to know if anyone has had TWO third degree years before and now having a third baby?? It’s so uncommon I think most people don’t tear the second time or had already opted for CS. I can’t find any research on it anywhere online! And no one seems to have experienced it…

OP posts:
calimc83 · 07/02/2023 16:50

@Aria095 hey 👋 I'm pregnant with my 3rd baby. Like you I have had 2 3rd degree tears. Both my babies have been back to back which I think contributed to my 3rd degree tears. At my consultant appointment I was told I'm more likely to tear again this time around. I've also suffered with a bit of incontinence if I can't make it to the toilet in time..I'd hate this to get worse so I've opted for a c sec this time around x

Disappointingbiscuit · 07/02/2023 17:07

I had a 3c tear and episiotomy with my first so opted for a c section with my second. I felt I was very lucky to have healed well the first time and my gut told me not to chance it again. It was a way better experience to be honest and I found the recovery was actually a bit easier (not a lot, but a bit) I would 100% have a section again.

Original poster
Aria095 · 07/02/2023 19:58

@calimc83 Thank you so much. I honestly haven’t met anyone in the same situation so that’s really reassuring!

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Original poster
Aria095 · 07/02/2023 19:59

@Disappointingbiscuit Hi there! Thanks for the encouragement, it’s also nice to hear positive c section experience.

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wp65 · 07/02/2023 20:03

Elective (planned) c sections are v different to emergency c sections following exhausting/ complicated labour. I had a planned c section, it was a lovely calm experience, and I held my baby immediately (fed her for the first time on the operating table!). Recovery was easy - had her at lunchtime, and was up and walking (ok, hobbling) again by 9pm that night.

Original poster
Aria095 · 07/02/2023 20:11

@wp65 Thank you for the reassurance, it’s quite a daunting procedure if you think about it too much… so totally nice to hear that people have had such good experiences.

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calimc83 · 07/02/2023 20:33

@Aria095 you would think it would be more common..I remember being told after my first tear that it was only a small chance ( something like 8% chance of another tear happening) famous last words 😂...can't take that risk again, I think the area is pretty damaged after 2 births so think it might be game over after a 3rd 🙈. When are u due? X

Original poster
Aria095 · 07/02/2023 20:39

@calimc83 Yes, my midwife after the second birth felt devastated for me because she just said it’s so uncommon to happen twice, doesn’t make you feel very confident about a third birth does it… Guess there’s always got to be someone in the minority, you never think it will be you! I just think it would totally not be worth the potentially lifelong drama of not being able to control my bowels if the tear was the same or worse…

I am due 3rd of April, what about you? I will discuss c section with my midwife next week.

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Blaggingit123 · 07/02/2023 20:48

I had two 3a tears too. Both born in water and both had very large heads (average weight but head circumference 99.6th or whatever centile for both - not sure if that contributed). First back to back but second not. To be honest I think I found the pain of crowning so intolerable I just automatically pushed hell for leather to try to cope with that - I couldn’t have done otherwise…

im not having a third (not because of this just only want 2) as DH has had a vasectomy now but if I ever had I don’t think I’d have taken the risk a third time as feels more likely than not now. I was also told less than 10% chance the second time. No issues with healing but the scar tissue is noticeable (almost 7 years on) and I don’t feel it would have been sensible given the risks. If it was guaranteed to heal the same I’d go for the vaginal birth again though as my actual experience was fine.

Original poster
Aria095 · 07/02/2023 21:02

@Blaggingit123 Congrats on competing your family :-) It’s reassuring to hear more mamas coming out of the woodwork that this happened to because I have felt so alone this whole time! And trying to ask advice from people who just haven’t been in that situation doesn’t help me to be honest. They just say they will have natural birth and hope for the best… all good and well when they don’t understand the risk.
thanks for your message!

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calimc83 · 07/02/2023 21:51

@Aria095 exactly! I know the recovery from a c sec won't be a walk in the park but if it prevents any long term further damage then I'm all for it. I have 4 weeks to go! C sec booked for 39 weeks 🙈😬 x

gemloving · 07/02/2023 21:55

I Never had a vaginal birth. Planned cesarean, then emergency. Both were fine but you don't see your baby for a good hour after it's been born as you're being seen. They show you baby but that's about it. I always felt quite removed from the situation in a strange way. Recovery was tough both times, so I cannot tell you what's easier x

I'm also pregnant with my third and my babies were born in the same years as yours xx

babynoname22 · 07/02/2023 22:00

C section all the way! I had a 3c tear first baby. ELCS second baby. The recovery from ELCS was a dream in comparison to tear

SpecialK2023 · 07/02/2023 22:03

No.1 was a 3b tear. No.2 was delivered by a lovely relaxing, planned section.

CrispyChilliOil · 07/02/2023 22:09

Like you, my first baby had their hand up by their face at birth and I ended up with a 3a tear - I thought it was unlucky but unlikely to happen again. My second was an extremely short labour and baby literally flew out in one push and this time I had a 3b tear. I healed really well both times and have had no issues at all. When I had baby number 3 there was no way I was going to risk another tear as I felt I escaped a long term injury by the skin of my teeth, so I had a planned c section. Sadly, it wasn’t the calm, healing birth I had in mind, and I had a few complications. However it was far and away the easiest recovery I had and i would absolutely have another section if I had another baby.

Original poster
Aria095 · 07/02/2023 22:34

@calimc83 All the best for the delivery! I really appreciate your messages and I would be super interested to hear how your CS goes if you have time to share x

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Pallisers · 07/02/2023 22:37

I had one 3rd (well they said 4th but it probably doesn't much matter after 3 and that might have been a USthing!) degree tear and a pph.

I had two c sections after that and they were a complete doddle by comparison. The second one I discharged myself the next day. My obgyn for my second child said "well tbh you've had a c section just not in the right place"

Original poster
Aria095 · 07/02/2023 22:39

@gemloving yes that would be tough… due to the nature of my tears I was quite removed from the whole thing too, as it has to be repaired in theatre and you can’t have husband or baby with you I was apart from my newborns for a good 4-5 hours after the birth, I hadn’t expressed colostrum for my second daughter (as I wasn’t anticipating needing to) and so poor wee mite was without food for so long! She wasn’t fazed in the slightest and my husband got lots of snuggles, just felt really sad to be away from her… not knowing how she was doing. Another reason I would lean towards c section, I’d have somewhat more awareness of the situation and where baby is etc…

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Original poster
Aria095 · 07/02/2023 22:43

@CrispyChilliOil Sorry to hear the c section didn’t go quite as planned, can I ask what the complications are? I had pphaemorrhage with my second daughter (well I did with 1st too but it wasn’t as bad) and I don’t wonder if this is another risk factor to add during c section. At least I suppose you’re in the right setting for them to manage it if it does occur…
like you I feel like I’m tempting fate a little bit in attempting another VB.

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Original poster
Aria095 · 07/02/2023 22:46

@Pallisers My understanding is that 3rd degree tears are just involving sphincter muscle, whereas 4th is a full end to end tear 😣 I am in New Zealand though so yes I’m not sure if they do have different headings.

Congratulations and good work on the speedy recovery! I am hoping it goes all smoothly for me (and others in the same position) also!

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hban · 07/02/2023 23:42

I opted for the c section in a similar situation. It was absolutely the best decision in my case.

I felt I couldn’t risk being doubly incontinent with three young children to look after and I felt that having surgery immediately after the birth to fix a third degree again and not spending the time with the baby wasn’t better anyway

the section was lovely actually. Perhaps a regular natural birth is better but in my case. Felt the trauma and long recovery of a 3c tear wasn’t the natural birth and quick recovery people were describing. By third time round I didn’t believe anyone telling me I might not tear!

hban · 07/02/2023 23:45

Also in my c section I had the baby on me straight away and was feeding her while they operated. I spent more time with her than my other two children, particularly my son who I didn’t see for a few hours due to the injury

snowflake29 · 07/02/2023 23:49

I had a 3b tear with first baby and chose a ELCS for the 2nd - no regrets! I also had no lasting issues from the first bad tear and felt I'd got away lightly. I just couldn't chance it again so opted for the planned route and it was great.

Back driving again within 3 weeks, very neat scar and healed with no issues. It was lovely having immediate skin to skin and not be stuck in theatre away from my baby for a couple of hours like the first time.

Original poster
Aria095 · 07/02/2023 23:56

Thank you very much for the support Mamas! I’m feeling so much more confident now, and definitely feel a lot less judged here. A lot of people can have lots to say about deciding on c section, like it’s so taboo or you didn’t do enough for your baby… I know that’s not the case deep down, and I’m unsure why some people feel the need to judge when they have nothing to compare to, in any case I feel very much supported through this site, thank you all!

OP posts:
calimc83 · 08/02/2023 04:17

@Aria095 sure! U might have to post again on this thread nearer the time to remind me but I'm sure I'll be back on MN within no time 😆 and I will let u know how I get on x

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