First baby no idea what to do

[Lotzana]

I'm due to have first baby in a few months. Pregnancy has been fine so far and all checks have been ok - I take aspirin and extra calcium as a precaution as mother had preeclampsia with third baby and I'm 35.

At 20 week appointment I had a courtesy chat with a consultant but she said all was fine and I could be under midwife care for rest of pregnancy unless something came up in subsequent appointment.

For birth I've always leaned towards c- section as I'm risk averse and want some control over situation even though I know c section is no walk in the park. At least I know what I'm signing up for. A friend who recently had a c- section thought it was great and highly recommended it to me. I do hate the idea of kangaroo piuch and trouble trying to conceive after one though.

With a natural birth it feels like Russian roulette. I'm also on the more petite side so worried I can't do it. The women in my family have all done it naturally though and can't fathom why I'd even contemplate a csection for a seemingly healthy pregnancy so far.

I don't know what to do. I like the idea of natural but I'm don't want to martyr myself for it but equally major surgery when I may not need it seems extreme. I just want a birth that won't leave me traumatised!

I know no one can give me the answer and it feels like impossible dilemma as everyone says different things depending on what they've experienced but any words of wisdom are welcome.

I was unlucky. 2 vaginal births and neither without complications (pph and instrumental).
I wouldn't risk vaginal again.
However in your circumstances I think you're scared (completely normal and not meant as an insult) and need to do a bit of exploration.
There's so many good books and resources that are factual and can help make an educated decision. Hypnobirthing classes could help you too
A 3rd would be my last so c section is easy decision for me and would be medically needed this time. I would factor in how many children you would like to have as that can be a factor in what you decide to do.
Best of luck bringing your bundle into the world however you do it

Thanks for all your comments. Some of you hit nail on head that I'm making this decisión mostly out of fear - that is the main reason I lean towards a c section. I think I need to do some more reading so I can be more informed and have all the facts.

I've also had previous late 1st trimester loss which was quite traumatic and took 12 hours in hospital and probably affected me more than I realise so the thought of going into unknown in hospital for vaginal birth is quite terrifying. Definitely need to weigh up options and talk through with midwife