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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Tips for getting through newborn phase?

8 replies

Saturn88 · 17/01/2023 13:24

This will be baby no 2 for us, coming in 2 months time!

I had my DS 5 years ago and I got quite depressed. What didn't help is I was a bit younger and felt more saddened leaving my old life behind. This time I am a seasoned mum already and looking forward to having another little one and becoming a family of 4!

What tips do you have for staying positive in those first few tough weeks and avoiding feeling low?

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 17/01/2023 13:30

Partner support is the #1 thing that made a difference to me - not a tip as such I suppose.

Co-sleeping saves my sanity, set up a bedside cot.

Pre-prepare meals

Lots of prep for new older sibling - Siblings Without Rivalry book is good. Try to assume positive intent and set them up to win by explaining/redirecting problem behaviour.

Figure out who your BF support people are and line them up just in case (if you plan to BF) - if you don't the tommee tippee machine is meant to be fantastic.

If you want company, let people know now. I found people tended to avoid asking to come over as they did not want to crowd us.

Sleepwalkingintothewall · 17/01/2023 13:32

I had to get out of the house as much as possible. That and sugar.

20viona · 17/01/2023 13:33

First 8 weeks have been a dream for me; lazy days of not doing much and lots of sleepy cuddles. I didn't need any meals premade or anything like that but I know not all babies are placid. Be kind to yourself.

allfurcoatnoknickers · 17/01/2023 13:57

Go out as much as possible - make sure you get out of the house every single day, even if it's only for 15 minutes.

Get the baby used to being held by someone else - even (especially) if that's DH/DP.

I was given these two pieces of advice by the consultant I saw in my pregnancy - she's got 4 kids, so she knows what she's talking about.

I found the newborn phase mind numbingly boring, but I never felt depressed or low.

Squamata · 17/01/2023 14:27

Second time round I found the baby a doddle, but managing DC1 was the challenging bit. It's probably easier if your DC is at school in the day. My second baby was also just an easier baby, luckily for me!

Get out every day. Have one thing every day you look forward to (even if it's a square of chocolate, five minutes alone with a cup of tea etc). Get in easy food. Get in stock of amusements that will keep older child entertained and have them up your sleeve - DD loved sticker books, if I could whip one of those out on a challenging afternoon, we were saved!

If you have a garden and your 5yo is the right kind of kid, think about getting some outdoor toys or equipment when it's warmer - I used to sit bf while DD played in her mud kitchen, balanced on a plank between two bricks etc.

See if any other parents you know might be able to help with the school run now and then if you need it. If your DC has any school friends with young siblings, do some playdates so your DC gets a few clues what it's like.

Use a doll, books, TV programs to tell your DC about babies, what routines they have, how they're different from big kids etc. See if you can hand the baby over to someone and have 121 with your DC regularly, even if it's just for ten minutes before bed etc.

Have a think about what you'll need to babyproof in future, if this includes DC toys like small lego pieces, have a plan for this so you don't all of a sudden say 'you can't play with this because of the baby' - get in the habit of keeping things with small pieces on a play table etc that can be put away.

Have places you can plonk the baby down (bouncer, sleepyhead thing etc) so they can be watching you but you're still hands free to play with DC1.

Don't freak out if DC1 doesn't seem to love DC2, think of it like your partner bringing a new wife home!

Have something that takes you out of the baby zone mentally - I used to read books on a kindle app, listen to podcasts etc - something that reminds you the world is still turning!

Squamata · 17/01/2023 15:00

Also - I found that having a routine with getting out of the house, school pickups etc meant there was much less monotonous downtime, and DC2 was entertained by watching DC1 a lot - babies love watching bigger kids!

It wasn't always easy (2.5 year gap) but on balance I found second baby easier than first, there was just less downtime to sit around bemoaning my lack of a social life and all the freedom I had lost, as that happened years before :)

sayanythingelse · 17/01/2023 15:14

You're going to be fine. I've got a 5 year old and a 9 week old. I'm a much better parent this time around because I'm already an experienced mum. I'm used to sleepless nights, poopy pants and never getting a moments peace. I don't have all the anxieties of a FTM or an old life to mourn. In some ways, I find it easier having 2 of them because it forces me to be super organised.

The only part that I've found difficult is the jealousy. I didn't think DD would be jealous as she wanted a sibling but she's found "mummy always cuddling the baby instead of her" hard.

Saturn88 · 17/01/2023 19:12

Thank you so much everyone some great tips here! Really appreciate it! Xxx

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