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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Should I feed the midwives at a home birth? And if so, what?

59 replies

FillyjonkisCALM · 04/02/2008 11:25

This is oddly niggling me

Last time I was transfered due to a Reason, but I DID get very worried that they might not be eating, also that they would think me rude if I ate in front of them and forgot to offer them food (yes I know this is a bit silly but I am odd at these times. I only polish my taps about once every 2 years-the week before I give birth...)

I expect they will bring sandwiches, but should I have biscuits in? And will they actually eat them, or just wave them away politely? Should I just leave them on a plate with a sign saying "please help yourself?" but then my MOTHER will eat them all...

Thoughts?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

belgo · 04/02/2008 14:39

Peachy - my house was very clean before giving birth, due to the nesting instinct

Peachy · 04/02/2008 14:40

Neber got it for fist 3 bet I won't start now (shame! could do with it...)

belgo · 04/02/2008 14:40

oh that's a shame - the nesting instinct really makes me get things done!

Snaf · 04/02/2008 14:47

What a strange reason not to provide a few biscuits, tommy!

I certainly wouldn't expect a full meal, but the offer of biscuits/sandwich/bit of cake/whatever would be most welcome. Copious amounts of builder's tea are essential to good midwifery

(Then again, what would I know, having never even seen a flippin' homebirth yet )

hifi · 04/02/2008 14:52

how about really pushing the boat out with magazines, dvds and a few board games?

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 04/02/2008 14:53

And remember Tommy, when working at the hospital we can nip out to the vending machine/WRVS to get something. If a m/w is at a homebirth a long time she may well eat her sandwich or whatever and then be hungry. But just biscuits would be very appreciated.

belgo · 04/02/2008 14:57

And if the midwife is called out suddenly to a home birth, she might not have much time to get food ready.

And it's also very hard to predict how long a home birth will be - my midwives predicted me three or four hours - it turned out to be a lot longer - one midwife was there for seven hours!

Original poster

FillyjonkisCALM · 04/02/2008 15:05

ok so I will make sure there is food. There is always going to be cheese and bread and spreads and so on in my house anyway, and the mws can always help themselves.

My real fear is that I forget to ask them if they want anything. I do have quite quick labours...

I COULD stick it on my birth plan but I am 90% sure that no one has ever read my birth plans except me (and dp, the first time ).

I shall be fretting over this now

OP posts:

Pannacotta · 04/02/2008 15:12

I bought biscuits and more bread than usual as was also worried about this but they came at 5, baby born at 7ish so not much time for eating really!
My doula did make tea and toast afterwards, but not sure if the MWs ate anything.
Hope all goes well filly.......

Tommy · 04/02/2008 15:43

that's true - sorry, didn't mean to come across as a meany

I don't think I got anything special in as DS3 arrived exactly on his due date and I had assumed he would be late!

I will now have to ask the MW if she ate anything while she was here...

Mintpurple · 04/02/2008 16:37

Agree with Maxbear - midwives are only human and would appreciate something to eat if we are there for a while, esp over normal mealtimes.

But I would never expect anythin fancy, just the makings of a quick sandwich - bread, jam, peanut butter, cheese etc would be fine. And biscuits and coffee or something would be nice too.

But dont stress about it, Im sure you will not forget about it and I would hope you would get on well enough with the m/w that she would feel able to ask if she could make a sandwich or get a cup of coffee if she wanted to.

Sparkletastic · 04/02/2008 16:40

I had tea, toast and biccies in stock for my MWs - but made darned sure DH and my mum were the ones to cater for their needs. I was too busy communing with my pain

Original poster

FillyjonkisCALM · 05/02/2008 14:10

thanks all!

I have bought biscuits, I send dp out for "something nice for the mws". He has bought digestives . Still, on the upside, I won't bother to eat them...

We always have sliced bread in the freezer anyway, though if they time it right, dp does often bake bread...

I do really like the idea of making cakes in early labour...somehow pleasently symbolic.... But I will probably knit. Also, I would eat all the cakes quite quickly...

OP posts:

coastalmum · 05/02/2008 14:54

When I booked my home birth, the midwife politely asked me to make sure I at least had toast and biscuits available for the midwife onduty. Apparently one midwife in their team fainted at at homebirth as she'd been there for 11 hours with nothing to eat.

also just seems basic politeness to have something to offer, your midwife won't expect a three course dinner.

Original poster

FillyjonkisCALM · 05/02/2008 17:14

ah yes, see the problem is not so much HAVING the food, we do normally keep food in the house

I am mainly worried that I will be in too much pain, dp will be somehow busy with the other kids, and my mum will forget or not notice or worse, be stuck on the M4...

And then I will realised 2 days later that I was too preoccupied to even offer them a cup of tea and I will feel AWFUL. Though I suppose I could just send them chocolates then...

Will they take their own initiative, do you think? If I am clearly in no fit state to make cheese toasties, and they are not forthcoming from any other quarter (see below re digestives), and they are on the verge of fainting, will they just go down and help themselves?

I mean, I could stick it on the birth plan, but I don't think any of my mws have ever read those...

OP posts:

minorityrules · 05/02/2008 17:32

At my home birth, 3 midwives, my mum and 2 sisters, husband and older kids all tucked into bacon sandwiches (didn't all stay for the birth)

I locked myself in the loo for some quiet time!

Original poster

FillyjonkisCALM · 05/02/2008 17:53

ah that is the way to do it!

we don't eat meat, but fried egg sandwiches sound most fabulous...

OP posts:

naturelover · 06/02/2008 09:06

I was so organised, had a tray of "labour snacks" for me that I didn't touch, had filled the cupboard with biscuits and instructed DH to offer them to MWs, which he forgot to do, so hopefully they either brought their own or weren't hungry. I was in no state to notice or care I'm afraid. Afterwards I felt terrible about it.

bozza · 06/02/2008 09:17

I do think it is nice to have something available for the midwife. My midwife was called out at short notice early on a Saturday morning. She didn't have time to have anything before DD was born because it only took 25 minutes from her arrival. But I bet she was desperate for the brew that DH made her afterwards. I would say stick to basic things, like sandwiches, toast, biscuits etc. If you want to push the boat out I suppose you could have some M&S nibbles a la blu and her goats cheese tarts.

jasper · 06/02/2008 10:04

I think you are an incredibly thoughtful person

Dropdeadfred · 06/02/2008 10:13

Put a sign up pointing to the kitchen and telling them to eat/drink whenever they need to....if you really think your dp won't remember

twelveyeargap · 06/02/2008 10:32

I was too near to the birth when they arrived for them to bother even with a cup of tea, but they were chuffed to bits when DH went to the local shop whilst I was in 3rd stage at around 6.30am and bought fresh pastries for breakfast.

TBH, I kept buying biscuits "for the midwives" beforehand and then scoffing them all.

Just keep some bread for toast, and something for them to fling in it if they want a sandwich. They won't be expecting a meal - just something to keep them going if they're there for a long stint.

Wisteria · 06/02/2008 10:34

make some soup while you are in pre labour with all the left over veggies in the fridge if you have time and energy, or you could freeze some that can be defrosted - it's a wonderful stand by. Also easy for dh to heat up for you when you are starving and in bed with new bundle.

twelveyeargap · 06/02/2008 12:59

Pre-labour? Is that the bit where I start putting bleach down all the plugholes in the house?

Went 0-60 in two contractions flat last time. Will be lucky to get the midwife here to cut the cord this time round.

seeker · 06/02/2008 13:06

A nice fry up? I hear placenta is delicious......NOOOOOOOOO don't go there!

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