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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

You know, I AM actually tempted by a home birth, after all my protestations...what do I need to have/know/do?

25 replies

FillyjonkisCALM · 03/02/2008 21:01

I mean, aside from the obvious

I have 2 kids already and a large bath

I am 10 minutes drive from the hospital (5 with sirens)

I am worried about the neighbours (having myself heard a noisy hb as a student ), scaring the kids (they are 2 and 4, the 4 yo will be fine but the 2 yo is a concern), and having to clean up the mess myself. Oh and I want to be sure that someone will make me a cup of tea using my kettle-do mws do this?

What equipment do I need? Do I seriously need to buy a tarpaulin?

I am 3 days off my due date, btw.

(My wondeful mother is going to drop everything and drive for 3 hours at a moment's notice to look after the kids. It has to be her if possible. The kids love her most and so do I. And she has had a hb herself and is not at all fazed by it)

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WideWebWitch · 03/02/2008 21:04

I screamed the place down and my 6yo wouldn't have slept through it but if your mum will drop everything she could take your other 2

there is no mess, midwives clean up

shower curtain will do or old sheets

surely dh will make you a cup of tea?

That lovely lovely feeling of your OWN bed and bath and loo and peace when everyone's gone and yu can just gaze at your new baby is bliss, really lovely.

I had both mine at home, really recommend it.

WideWebWitch · 03/02/2008 21:05

You don't need any equipment, midwives bring it. You'll need to tell them you want a hb tomorrow
they will bring gas and air. Make sure they bring enough!

mckenzie · 03/02/2008 21:07

there are tons of threads about homebirths but in my experience (I had a home water birth with DD, my second)......

Forget the neighbours - mine said that they did hear some noise and figured it was me in labour but just turned the TV up a bit louder and forgot about it.

Our MW certainly helped to clear up (and we had a pool to empty too). I don't remember about making tea but then I dont think I would have wanted one anyway

Lots of old towels and/or sheets will come in handy but the MW bought some with her too.

I had a hospital birth with my first born and my second, at home, was just a completely different experience. It was all led by me and I loved every minute of it (well, almost!!)

Good luck to you all.

ps. DS went to bed as normal while I was in labour on the stairs - he asked what the noise was and DH told him it was somehting on the tv. He slept through it all but had a lovely surprise the next morning

Original poster

FillyjonkisCALM · 03/02/2008 21:11

I am actually booked for a hb anyway, the mw kept trying to talk me into it and i figured I could always just go to hospital.

But now I am feeling like I will make a positive decision to do it.

Oh and I have a red rug, that must surely help matters.

OP posts:

calvemjoe · 03/02/2008 21:14

Lol at the red rug

Pruners · 03/02/2008 21:14

Message withdrawn

MaeWest · 03/02/2008 21:15

I had hb in the middle of the afternoon, high summer with all the windows open. Neighbours didn't hear a thing (in fact there was a footie game going on outside the window as DS was born).

Someone made tea, may have been the midwives, may have been my mum, but tea was made and it was fantastic (about 5 sugars).

Tarpaulin - prob not, but we did have some old sheets down, also had an air matress (good for hands and knees position) and an old duvet.

DS was my first so didn't have the issue of other children.

My mum was there, had also had a hb, she was great (and calmed DH down too).

All the best, hope all goes well

Tangle · 03/02/2008 22:25

we got one of these tarpaulins from B&Q - not essential, but was large enough to cover sooo much of the lounge we knew any mess that missed inco pads / towels would be contained. Non essential, but saved a lot of worry. Some people hose them off and reuse. I think we just used it to bundle everything that was past redemption and chucked it in the bin (DH and midwives did it).

How loud were you in your other labours? DD was my first, and I was so quiet the midwives had to ask me to tell them when I had a contraction. We did warn the neighbours, though, so they didn't call the police to check out any strange noises!

Mary Cronk has a nice list of what she asks parents to supply, which is fairly comprehensive (there's a link at the bottom of the page).

Fingers crossed it goes smoothly for you

sweetkitty · 03/02/2008 22:35

I used cheap shower curtains for the bed secured with a cheap fitted sheet on the bed. Used a few old towels as well. MWs cleared everything up in about 10 minutes whilst I was in the shower.

No idea about neighbours I'm in a detached house.

DD1 was 18 months at the time and slept through everything and believe me I was not quiet.

DP made us all tea and toast afterwards.

gloriana · 03/02/2008 22:36

I had a hb with DS3 and it was fantastic. Didn't use a tarpaulin but managed to get some plastic dust sheets from the local hardware shop for a couple of quid. Coz I didn't want to be walking around on plastic, we covered the sheeting with old bed sheets.

Would definitely advise you to have somewhere to lie down and rest after - good idea about the air mattress MaeWest!

Only other things that I would suggest would be nice candles, music or telly, anything that would make you more comfortable. We were also told to get a desk lamp so that any stitching would be well lit.

Hope it all goes well Filly.

Original poster

FillyjonkisCALM · 04/02/2008 07:04

mary cronk list is fabulous! Thanks!

mw has actually said that they supply everything but I am not sure if that includes hot chocolate and neroli essential oil and toast, must clarify.

I WAS extremely noisy in 2 previous labours. I tend to avoid pain relief after about 7cm (its just useless by then-sorry first timers ) and get through it by screaming obscenities. And the neighbour's very sweet 6 yo girl sleeps in the room next to the one I'd have to be giving birth in (its that or the dining room...and the dining room has just been painted )

Oh should I offer the mws food, what is the ettiquette?

OP posts:

belgo · 04/02/2008 07:15

filly - we offered the midwives food but they refused it as they had their own sandwiches. they accepetd tea and coffee.

Don't worry about noise, I screamed the place down and my neighbours didn't hear a thing, at least they said they didn't I heard them though, they were doing some building work that day I could hear the banging.

I had a water birth so didn't need a tarpaulin.

I was ready to go to hospital at any point, but there was no need.

it was lovely afterwards being at home.

good luck

buzzybee · 04/02/2008 07:28

I had hb with DD1. Was bullied into agreeing to hospital birth for DD2 (6 years older, higher risk, completely paranoid hospital consultants). Almost had DD2 in the car (born 20 mins after arrived at hospital) - extremely painful trip to hosp took 25 mins. HB would have been much better...good luck!

[and yes MW made me a hot sweet drink after, brought everything except plastic drop sheet I supplied and cleaned up everything except a few blood spots on the bed valance]

needmorecoffee · 04/02/2008 07:51

more of those plastic backed sheets than you think. I managed to kcik then away and gave birth on the carpet. Which was never the same again and needed an industrial strength cleaning machine.

Original poster

FillyjonkisCALM · 04/02/2008 11:22

am going to start a thread on mw's food, it is one of those things that is oddly niggling me

I don't think I am going to be up to playing hostess ANYWAY, dp will forget amidst all the rushing about and I will fret afterwards that they may have thought me rude...

I cannot visualise these plastic backed mats of which mary cronk seems so fond. Would tarpaulin + sheet over the top work, or do I need a trip to dunelm mill?

OP posts:

Pruners · 04/02/2008 11:30

Message withdrawn

Original poster

FillyjonkisCALM · 04/02/2008 11:36

I just cannot connect this with anything I have ever seen

are you speaking of plastic fused to fabric?

How would you wash that then?

I am also concerned re the environmental consequences, and thusly AM going to try to get away with newspaper, I know it. I will walk the 2 miles to Dunelm mill with good intntions, then chicken out...

(this will drive dp mad...but I will have images of the tablecloth i gave birth on sat in landfill for the rest of the anthropocene...)

OP posts:

jeangenie · 04/02/2008 11:42

do it in a pool - least mess that way

don't worry about food for midwives - mine didn't have time to eat

put on loud music to disguise your obsenities

(I was fairly quiet in a low mooing kind of way and neighbours have never mentioned it - bet the whale music drove 'em crazy though)

do it - is great - and you get hot rather than lukewarm tea afterwards - can't be beaten

elliott · 04/02/2008 11:42

I put a plastic sheet down and covered it with an old cheap duvet, which I threw out . If it had been old towels I could have washed those.... i was on the floor leaning against sofa so needed a bit of padding!
good luck. I can't remember who made the post birth cup of tea!

IndigoMoon · 04/02/2008 11:47

i had a homebirth with ds - it was fab!

neighbours did not hear a thing apparently.

dd was upstairs and i did not wake her but she woke at normal morning time. my mom went upstairs and kept her company cos i was only a short time away from giving birth. if it was longer to go my mom was going to take her to hers.

there was no mess, the midwives cleaned, they had tea but no food but i had toast half way through!

afterwards i demanded sausage sandwiches and dh went to the butchers.

i used shower curtains.

Original poster

FillyjonkisCALM · 04/02/2008 11:53

oh towels, what a good idea

or those big fleecy polyester throws, i don't think you CAN stain them, can you?

I actually have (unsanded )floorboards in the relevant room, then next door is the bathroom. So there is only perhaps a square foot of cream carpet to worry about...

God though I am LOUD in labour...I remember the first time, I was right at the end of the set of delivery suites but the mw said "I'm just going to pop out to reception and close their door..."...(note also that there was a closed , soundproof barrier between the delivery suite and reception)

OP posts:

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 04/02/2008 12:01

I think the plastic tablecloths people are talking about are often called oil cloths. Does this help?!

I would say, as long as you have a loaf of bread and butter in the house, if the MW is hungry, that is all you will need.

Good luck

spugs · 04/02/2008 12:41

im busy stashing all my old towels and sheets, we desperatly need new sets of both so its a good excuse . going to get a taup as well and some plastic sheeting for the sofa.

LiegeAndLief · 04/02/2008 12:49

Re the 2 year old - my mum had my brother at home when I was 2 (with my grandma there to look after me). I don't know how noisy she was but I certainly saw her in labour - got kicked out at the last minute because the room was full of midwives - and it didn't seem to bother me! Definitely hasn't scarred me for life.

Original poster

FillyjonkisCALM · 04/02/2008 14:54

nooo not really, i know there were oil cloths in the war and so on but...

I was there when my brother was born, I was 4 (and a day!). But dd gets very, very upset at seeing ANYONE in pain...she was hysterical when my blood was taken, even though I didn't show her it hurt...

But hopefully my mum will have her out anyway. TBH, the timing of the labour will have as much to do with whether I have a hb as anything else...

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