Coping with childbirth after the event

[PrplePanda]

I'm hoping to hear other people's opinions/experiences to try and make sense of my own!
I gave birth 9 weeks ago and still think about it a lot. It was really straight forward and nothing went wrong but it was intense - 5 hours from my waters breaking to baby being here and went from 1cm to 10cm in an hour.
I don't have trauma surrounding the labour but when I think about it I feel weird and kind of sad?? I'm not too sure how i feel really but i just wanted to hear if other people felt the same way because I feel like I'm being a bit ridiculous when I know others have had horrific experiences!

I had a difficult birth with with my first, both mentally and physically knackering beyond words, but I was so overwhelmed by everything afterwards that I didn't really think about it much. In fact I buried my feelings about how it went.

I was adamant I wanted a home birth for my second but I was afraid to research whether or not it was a good option for me right up until the last few weeks. Finally had a really good talk with my husband about what went wrong the first time, how it could all be avoided with a home birth, and he agreed completely. I think he had chosen to forget a lot of the details at the time too.

But I don't think you're being ridiculous, it's a huge change, the turning point from baby inside and easy to manage, to baby outside and needing your constant attention. It's called the fourth trimester for a reason and your hormones are still yet to go back to normal.

I thought about it for months afterwards and 11 years later it still crosses my mind reasonably frequently. It's such a massive and unusual experience that I think it's pretty normal to keep replaying it for a while. Congratulations on your new baby!

I had two pretty traumatic births. Both babies were absolutely fine in the end but I felt traumatised for a good few months. Within 6 months of my first I definitely felt a lot better and it became almost a distant memory- like it didn't happen to me. With my second I've not really thought much about it until your post which made me realise I've come to terms with that birth too. (Baby is 9 months)

Give yourself time, however straightforward the labour the birth of a child is such a huge thing both physically and mentally and it is traumatising. You will feel better, I promise, it just might take time.
If it doesn't seem to fade definitely reach out to your health visitor incase they can offer some additional support.

Congratulations by the way! X

In the past ten years I’ve had two straightforward births and one which had interesting moments (drip, baby a bit stuck, low heartbeat, threat of forceps) but a fine, untraumatic ending. I probably think about one or other of the births every day - I don’t feel for hours on it, but on a moment of the day.

I would really advise you to take advantage of the birth debriefing service your hospital probably offers to talk it through - this really helped me after my first (the stickiest).

congratulations. It does get less all consuming as you move further away from it. I found - still find - birthdays interesting (“at this point…”)

Hey, midwife here. I have just had my first baby (August) and just today had a birth reflections service appointment with another senior midwife to understand certain aspects of my care and what happened in labour. I'd highly recommend it, most units offer this service.

I too had quite a rapid labour (5hrs from wayers being broken to baby) so sending you a hug, often fast labours are bloody intense!!

Having a baby is intense. Even if nothing goes wrong. After both of mine, for the first couple of weeks, I shared my birth story with anyone who asked how I was. After a while, I realised I was even boring myself and I remembered to ask about other people's lives.

Long story short: Birth is really intense. For a while it is all you want to talk about. But then your hormones recede and you become interested in other people again.

I think it’s very common. Such a huge thing and so changing in so many ways. I’d think through it slowly from beginning to end, write it down if you can. Making a person is just so much.

Thank you everyone for sharing your perspectives! I think as a new mum with all the hormones it's easy to feel like you're going a bit crazy and hearing that I'm not alone has made me feel so much better!

I’m 9 weeks pp too and think back to labour frequently. I still feel out of sorts physically so every time I feel a twinge/pain/sensation it reminds me of my dd’s birth. Like yours it wasn’t traumatic on paper but was still difficult, long, involved induction, episiotomy etc. i’m hoping the weird feelings fade in time and especially when I feel myself physically although I know this can take a long time. We’ll get there!

I had a really bad first birth and a slightly longer than normal but very straightforward second and I still had a few flash backs with the second and thought about it a lot for the first few months.

Definitely recommend doing the birth reflections debrief. My DD was taken very poorly after the birth and even though her birth itself was "straightforward", it really helped me fill in some gaps in my memory. The midwife literally went through all the decisions minute by minute.

I still got very teary speaking about her birth really up until the point I went back to work. You are still in the 4th trimester so do give yourself time.

Congratulations on your little one! 💐

I had a beautiful birth even with a 3rd degree tear at the end, I actually loved it.

BUT it was intense, mind-bending, I'm pretty sure I left my body at one point.

And I couldn't stop thinking about it for a long time, with something similar to shock and awe. It was a such huge experience and your hormones are just all over the place. I think it's just it's intensely emotional to think about!

Congratulations OP!