Section or vb after 3rd degree tear?

[mummabear2023]

Just looking for others experiences please.
I'm currently 25 weeks with my second and am trying to decide on what would be best, I'm really struggling.
I had DD 3 years ago and her 28 hour labour was pretty traumatic for me. She was back to back and all I can remember is pain from the get go, I can't remember around 9 hours of my labour once I got to hospital and can only just remember DD actually being born. I suffered a 3rd degree tear and as soon as DD arrived I was whisked off to surgery to be stitched up so I never got those first precious hours with her which I really found hard to come to terms with at first.
Recovery wasn't overly bad, I was up and moving the day after and felt alot better about 3 weeks after.
At first I was leaning more towards a section, I hate the thought of having to go through such a long painful labour again and possibly doing further permanent damage down below, but recovery with a three year old to also look after is making me rethink.
I haven't yet had my appointment with a consultant to discuss the options but I'm just trying to weigh them up so I go in with a rough idea of what I want.
Has anyone been through similar? What did you decide?

3 weeks post c section I was driving again, I was still sore but I managed. Your next birth could be a walk in the park compared to your first but no one knows. Was a c section mentioned to you following the birth of your first DC?

I've just had my second child after a 3rd degree tear first time around. Like you, I recovered quite well so I wasn't sure what to do this time. My consultant recommended a CS because of the high liklihood of another tear due to baby being on the large side. I was a bit anxious about it but it turned out to be the best decision. After a few days I was managing to get up and about and within a couple of weeks I was mostly back to normal. Of course, recovery is different for everyone, but if you have a supportive partner/family you should be alright. It was a bit more difficult with my toddler as he was only 17 months old and didn't understand why I couldn't pick him up/get down and play with him, but it was only for a few weeks. Good luck with whatever you decide!

Thankyou both for your replies!
@somethingslastforever I had a few conflicting answers post birth last time, the surgeon stitching me up told me I'd most likely be a section if I was to have any more but when I spoke to the doctor on the ward she told me i would only have a small chance (around 5-10%) of tearing again.
I have an automatic referral to a consultant this time because of the tear previously so it will be interesting what they have to say.

I know there are risks either way so it's just a case of weighing them up I suppose

Do you have a preference OP? I’ve had an ELCS with DC2 and it took me 6 weeks before I felt comfortable picking the baby up and doing “normal” things. Saying that it also took me a similar time after my vaginal birth with DC1 so I think it really comes down to your own preference. Being at peace and happy with your decision is the most important thing. If you wanted to try again naturally I’m sure you could be suitably supported but equally an ELCS really is ok, it’s just a different way to have a baby with a slightly different recovery.

I had a 3rd degree tear 8 years ago. With second baby earlier this year, when I spoke to the consultant she wanted to know if I had any issues with bowel control etc, when saying I didn't she was happy for my to deliver vaginally if I wished. I had a pph first time and that was more likely with a c section. She was very confident in how they would try to prevent making my tear worse.
As the pregnancy continued we had some additional risk factors, baby with heart defect and potentially quite large.
I swayed so many times but opted for vaginal birth. We avoided any further damage to the 3rd degree tear but due to baby's dropping heart rate I needed a ventouse delivery which involved an episiotomy. I now have 2 sets of tears/scarring down there and I've been very lucky in terms of bladder and bowel effects.

I too worried about recovery from a section with an 8 year old and it was knowing the after care in hospitals is awful after my 5 day stay last time that I was petrified of. And in all honestly I felt robbed of my first birth experience as I was so poorly for so long and really wanted a positive birth experience.

Everyone told me to have a c section (friends and family etc and even a few doctors I saw for unrelated things)
You could be fine and it all be smooth sailing, highly recommend paying attention to perineal massage etc

I can say 100 hundred percent if I was to have a 3rd I would have an elective section.

You can change your mind at any time so don't stress too much but see what your consultant says x

3b tear with first and planned csection with second, csection recovery was far easier!

I had a 3b tear with my first, forceps, episiotomy etc.. fortunately they did an amazing job of stitching me up & I've suffered no problems since, after the initial healing of course.

I was nervous about a second birth but a c section was just never mentioned, I said from the off I was keen for a waterbirth & that was the plan throughout. I was never advised differently & my midwife was really supportive & encouraging.

Second baby was a birth centre water birth & such a contrast to my first - i'm so glad my final birth turned out that way, purely because that's what I wanted. I did get a second degree tear but again it was repaired well & it's all good. I'd have that birth 10 times over if I needed to.

You absolutely have choices & labour is so hard to predict but don't discount either option, you can change your mind right to until your last few weeks.

Also just to add I did nothing at all to prepare for second birth, no massage or anything like that. Its so individual though & no one can really predict how labour will go, which makes it a hard decision

I had a 3rd degree tear first time round and had really conflicting advice from doctors on whether to go for a C-section or not. I was told the risk of tearing to the same extent was around 7%, which I decided was low enough to opt for vaginal and hope for a much more positive birth experience. Luckily when my second arrived it was much quicker, I had a second degree tear but seem to have healed quickly.

For me, the risk of 7% and me really really wanting a positive vaginal birth outweighed the benefits of a C-section. Good luck whatever you decide to do!

I felt like a planned section was more of a 'known' risk, like you know you are going to have a scar and pain and no driving. Whereas with a tear the risk is of potentially life long urinary and faecal incontinence/pain/ infection. It was a really difficult decision, I opted for vaginally as wasn't near family so had no support. It was a horrible birth with an episiotomy at the end and recovery was painful (wasn't in UK and analgesia was inadequate) but much quicker this time around. Had to sit on a pillow and 4x a day baths this time but was back to daily activities by week 2 and took both kids to legoland on my own week 3.

My first birth I had detailed on my very vague short birth plan that the most important thing was the golden hour and my amazing midwife made it happen. So even though on paper it was a s*show (induction, 3rd degree tear, they had to do some maneuvers to get the placenta out) I have really fond memories of feeling incredibly safe and being advocated for. I got him placed straight on me and he had a feed before they weighed him and delayed clamping the cord, then handed him off and went to theatre and fell asleep for an hour with the spinal block and the warming blankets.

Had an induction, bad 3rd degree tear and retained placenta with DD1, was offered a C section for DD2 two years later, but wanted a vb if possible. I had to be in a position where they could keep an eye on my scar, but had a much easier delivery (3 hours only) and minimal 2nd degree tear. Back home 6 hours later.

chants ‘SECTION, SECTION, SECTION’ 🙌🏼😂

I have no experience of a vb but feel like I’m a c-section cheerleader everywhere I go. Mine was so straightforward and other than the little nip for the cannula in my hand, the entire thing was painless. The recovery really wasn’t that bad at all. I just took it extremely slowly the first few days. Even then, it isn’t ‘sore’, you’re on painkillers but you just know you need to be slow and the only painful part is when you go from lying back to sitting up. Once you hit the 5 days to a week mark you’re much more yourself then I would say by 2 weeks, other than a slight awareness there was something there, I was completely fine. I didn’t exactly go out running but I could manage a decent walk with the pram. This time I have a toddler already so I’m just going to really make sure that first week is covered in terms of help but after that I will be fine! My husband will take 2 weeks off again and by then I will be able to manage.

I think with sections you get a huge crowd of people, having never experienced one saying ‘oh but what about the recovery?’ to put people off when they have no clue what the recovery even is. I’d also say try to do your research on the pros and cons of both options by yourself before the consultant appointment because if they’re anything like mine they will try to sway you towards a vb if you go in on the fence. They will also tell you no negatives of a vb but will run you off a horrific list of risks of a section. These will infact be the risks of an emergency section, if you’d been in labour for 5 days, had a leg hanging off and were on deaths door while getting hurled round to theatre for a section. All of these risks are just lumped in with the ‘section’ risk as if that’s what you’re asking for. It’s like saying ambulances cause road crashes because there’s an ambulance at every road crash (saving the day), a section is there as a life-saving tool and shouldn’t be penalised with the risks of a dangerous vb being associated with it.

Try to find the risks and recovery times of what your situation will be which is a nice calm planned c-section with everything you could need on standby!

P.S I’m not even on commission for them (yet)

Thanks so much for all the replies!
I'm definitely going to sit down and write a pros and cons list in the next few weeks to try and weigh it up a bit for myself.
Honestly the main things putting me off a section are having to stay in hospital a bit longer than a vb (aftercare last time was horrendous and I begged to go home after 1 night, the thought of having to endure that for longer this time round scares me), also the recovery time with a toddler although I have a lot of support around me I know I'd be fine I just feel immense guilt that it's going to take me longer to be able to give DD my all again.
What's putting me off a vb is the thought of possible induction (I had one booked for DD's birth but went naturally the day before), further tearing causing more permanent issues and just the thought of having to go through that unbearable pain for as long again although I know subsequent labours are usually quicker.
Thankyou you've all given me alot to think about and consider.

Having had an ELCS I'm very much an advocate for anyone who opts for one however I think to say it isn't 'sore' is downright daft. It's major surgery, I don't care what painkillers you're on afterwards - it's sore and I'll be surprised if any other C-Section lady disagrees.