TW: neonatal emergency health issue and reference to possible loss

[Angelicat]

Name Changed but long time user of MN.

I hope that someone might be able to help me try to process something which happened when my daughter (now 10) was new born. I cannot access my or her medical records from that time due to having moved out of the country.

When she was around 8 hours old, she and I were both sleeping (in the hospital, her in her little crib, me in bed) and my husband was napping in the chair. We had been assured this was quite fine to do by the staff and that there was no need for one of us to stay awake with her.

My husband woke up and noticed that our daughter was blue. He ran out to the ward and called for help, and staff came to get her. Next thing I know she is on a surface of some kind, like maybe a table or something, surrounded by masses of medical staff.

She was, happily, fine. They said it was mucus from the birth and that if we hadn’t have woken up then she would have naturally coughed it up. They told me that the only reason there were so many staff was that there happened to be a group of trainee medics watching.

Even though a decade has gone by and she was absolutely fine, I haven’t ever been able to shake the feeling that they didn’t tell me the truth. That it was actually much more serious than they told me, that she wouldn’t have simply coughed it up herself, and that all those staff were actually called in to help rescue her. I feel like they lied to me to reassure me. I feel like if my husband hadn’t have woken up then we could have lost her.

Does anyone know anything about this kind of situation? How likely is it that what they told me was true? Would you also feel like you’d been gaslighted a bit?

Thanks in advance.

This sounds completely and utterly normal OP

Has something triggered you to focus on this a decade later?

My daughter choked on her mucus. She did cough it up, but needed help.

In the nicest way, she’s fine, it’s quite a common issue and with regards to the ‘lying’, what else were they supposed to say to a frightened new mum? You’ll never know either way so best forget about it and move on. I’m sure they weren’t acting maliciously.

And a father rush out shouting his newborn has turned blue… is going to get any staff in vicinity running to support

Probably lying was a poor choice of word, because I can completely understand why they would want to reassure me there and then. I guess I feel like they withheld information about how bad it was from me, because it was okay in the end. And I think I feel like I was not given full information about the situation.

I am not sure why I am still so focused on it such a long time later. It’s not rational, I do understand that 💕

Have you been this fixated on it for the last decade?

I wouldn’t say i’m fixated on it. Just a nagging worry.

What do you mean by ‘full information’? There’s an awful lot of talk of ‘coercive, secretive’ medical staff on here, but the simple truth is there probably wasn’t much to say - she got bunged up with mucus, they removed it, she’s fine.

It sounds like a plausible explanation (I’ve worked on maternity). If someone had pulled the emergency buzzer then a lot of people would have arrived at once. This is normal in hospitals. They go away pretty quickly once it becomes apparent that the situation isn’t serious.

I lost count years ago of how many times I got crash called to a baby only to arrive and find they were fine. Standard practice with a blue baby is to call for lots of help, then tell them to go away if not needed. If it had been something serious they'd have been whisked away to the neonatal unit.

Apparently quite common (especially in newborns born via c section) to be quite mucus-y.

Must have given you a real fright, but I doubt the staff would gaslight you on this.

hi OP this is a relatively common occurrence in a maternity hospital. It is really shocking for the parents who witness it. In most cases the baby will cough/ vomit up any mucus that has caused the obstruction well before Any staff help them. Occasionally babies do collapse in the post natal period for various other reasons and then obviously further ongoing treatment is required.
I think you had a really horrible fright but I don’t think the staff misinformed you x

Are you worried that perhaps your child has an underlying condition that you don’t know about, OP?

I’m a midwife and like others have said mucosy babies are fairly common. They can go a bit cyanosed with it, normally they will cough/sick the mucous up. I’ve certainly never known a baby die from this but I suppose it’s a possibility.

if a parent comes running out with a blue baby then I’m pulling the emergency buzzer/putting a 2222 call out to get everyone there because I’d rather have everyone there and realise they’re not needed than realise I need help and haven’t called anyone. In such a situation the baby would go to the resuscitaire incase we needed to suction or give oxygen.

Well they didn't know that's all it was when they rushed in.

It is common though if the baby isn't squeezed enough during the birth. Some countries/times they would suction the mucus out by default, but it' s no longer best practice. It can still be beneficial for sections or quick births though, and obviously if baby isn't breathing properly. Alternatively, there are certain positions to hold baby in to encourage the mucous out, but again it's not standard.

Dd bought up several oz of froth when she was about 8hours old. No idea if she went blue because we were all asleep, but she and the crib were covered in it. I panicked at the time, but it really is normal.

Sounds quite normal to me op lots of babies have mucus to get up x

Thank you for putting my mind at rest, it is so useful to hear from medical staff that this sounds like a very standard situation. Much appreciated 💕