Baby 2 birth - no one to have DS1

[LovesFood1987]

Anyone any tips or advice or what we can do?

Child 1 is 4YO, c section booked for baby 2 on 21st December. Family member who was going to have DS1 has just pulled out basically.

Other family members have cancer/heart failure/severe mental health problems meaning they can't help us. We don't have friends we feel would be happy to have DS1 and they're mostly away for Christmas anyway.

Anyone any tips or advice? Anyone professional we could pay given proximity to Christmas? I'm devastated tbh and feel like other family member being selfish by pulling out so late on when they know we have no one else (maybe actually me being selfish in hoping they would do it) 😢😢😢

It’s not ideal but can’t your partner have him? Then you can focus on having your baby.

Its going to have to be your DH/DP if you honestly have no one else. Which if i'm being honest i find very odd and sad.

Do you not have any friends with kids? Or parents of your sons school friends who may be able to have him for a sleepover for 1 night?

A nursery dm? Neighbour?

Can you reconsider the friends thing? Since you’re booked for a section it’s more predictable so could DH drop him to a friend in the morning and pick him up at bedtime after you’ve had the baby? If DS is at school are there any friendly class mums? It isn’t a massive ask and would just be an extended playdate- I’ve done it for a school friend of DD’s, really not a big deal.

We didn't live near parents so had a friends come over in the middle of the night on her bike in London.

We had this - mum let me down (as ever), MIL had had a bad fall. We paid their nursery nurse to look after the older two.
Otherwise it would have been DH

If it's a planned section, can you just arrange for him to be at nursery all day and then pay a nursery worker to take him home and put him to bed and then your dh go home once you and baby are okay? Might mean he can't be with you as much as you would like, but better than missing the birth altogether?

I would have someone's child in a heartbeat especially for a planned section, it's not like you're going to call them at 2am. Honestly I really don't think people will mind (assuming they are not working)

Is he at school or nursery? Private nurseries will be open, that's where dd1 was when I had dd2. If he's at school, holiday clubs will be running that week.

Does he go to nursery/preschool? That would cover the daytime, or is he in Reception?

A doula for you? So you're not alone if you haven't any local friend suitable to be a birth partner .

Otherwise a short term nanny??

Try your friends or nursery. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised, especially as it is a set day and 2 months to go so Christmas plans can still be flexed.

If I know you, I'll have your child for the day.
Please ask a friend/parent of your child's friend.

Thanks very much for your ideas and replies.

Sorry my original post was unclear, partner can definitely have older child but we have lost babies previously and I really want him there at the birth 😢

Section booked in at 39+5 (only date the hospital will do) so concerned about going into labour/waters breaking (very likely with my pregnancy history) before then so ideally need someone who willing to have him "unexpectedly" overnight too.

His normal childcare closed for Christmas sadly 😞

I'll look into a short term nanny though, never heard of that!

Thanks again

We used a wonderful short term nanny for a one off, we did two introduction sessions first.
She was fantastic and ds (14 months) loved her.

Happy to share details if you're in west yorkshire

Ask around for a trusted babysitter and then do a couple of sessions beforehand so your DC is familiar with them?

I live abroad and although it's DH's home country, his family are a 5 hour drive away and we also have no friends close enough to have our son (2 years old). My relative is coming over from Scotland and working from here from 37 weeks pregnant and staying as long as she needs. But if anything happens before then, I'll just need to give birth alone which absolutely sucks but it would be really distressing for my son to stay with neighbours or friends he doesn't know well enough (he knows my relative well due to weekly facetiming and a long summer visit in the UK).

We have close friends in a city 3 hours away and one is from a different country, her husband from this one but again his family are 7 hours away so they had the same plan as us. Unfortunately it sounds like your husband will have to have your son and you give birth alone (unless you have a friend you feel comfortable with having in the room?)

Ask nursery if any of the staff want to do it for £300 overnight at your home?

Bet they will say yes that close to Christmas too they are so underpaid!

friend in a similar situation got a short term nanny.

If his normal childcare is closed for Christmas one of the staff might be free and willing to babysit. It'll obviously cost but it's worth it for your peace of mind.