Is my experience normal?

[WakeMeUpWhenTheCoffeeIsDone]

I gave birth mid pandemic.

As they thought baby was large, it was advised I be induced.

I was given a pessary, and around 20 hours after it was put in, I woke and a few minutes later my waters broke. I was having contractions that were quite close together. I told one of the midwives my waters had broken and she gave me a sanitary towel to monitor this. There was no kind of examination. I was just left. I asked for pain relief but it was ages before anything was brought to me. The pain only got worse and I buzzed for a midwife and I told her the contractions were really close together and I was in a lot of pain.

After hours of labouring alone on an induction ward, I was then given a quick examination and the midwife said they would check for a bed on the labour ward.
When I reached the delivery suite I was 8cm dilated. At this point I requested an epidural and was given this fairly quickly. The midwife became concerned as my heart rate was really high and the baby was showing signs of distress, she called doctors in and they agreed they would leave it a bit longer. I was now fully dilated but the baby was not far enough down. Some time passed and the midwife then called all of the doctors back into the room and I was taken to theater. They were discussing a c-section but decided to attempt forceps first. Luckily this was successful and baby arrived safely.

My iron levels were very low after giving birth, however around 24 hours after baby was born I began running a fever. All I kept being told to do was to drink water and they kept checking my temperature but it wasn't coming down. I was told I needed a blood transfusion. I was told the transfusion would be going ahead and then waited all day and no one came to do it. This went on for a couple of days, eventually DH waited until someone would tell us what was happening. Eventually a midwife saw us late that evening and I was transferred to another ward and then given IV antibiotics, within hours my temperature returned to normal and they could go ahead with the first blood transfusion. They retook my iron levels and they said I would need another transfusion the following day. This was given but they were still not happy with my iron levels, so they said I would need another. A consultant came and spoke with me, by this point I had spent days on the postnatal ward with barely any sleep, it was hot and by the time I was able to go and get my meals, there was only sandwiches left. DH could only visit between certain hours, I asked if I could go home and return for the next blood transfusion the following day. She told me very bluntly no, that's not possible. I was crying and she went to walk and leave me. A midwife overheard and she said, actually you can discharge with folic acid and explained that I didn't have to stay and could go home if I wanted to. I was discharged that evening. During this time, I understand that NHS was stretched.

Was my experience normal, or did I expect too much? I contacted the hospital and discussed this with a matron and she seemed happy with the treatment I was given.

Well it sounds rubbish, but also I think possibly quite standard. Sorry.

I think your experience is on the spectrum of ‘normal’ childbirth. It’s not that dissimilar to my experience with my first child, but wildly different from the calm pool birth I had with my second. If things go badly in delivery it can mean a stay of several days whilst the sort everything out and since you had an induction this type of experience is more likely than those who begin Labour spontaneously.

that’s not to say it isn’t an awful experience, because it is. Even in 2022 birth can be pretty medieval at times.

Thanks ladies.

I was hoping I was in the unlucky minority. But it's terrible to hear this is the norm for most women.

Yes very similar to my experience. I was also 8cm dilated having had no pain relief. I also had an epidural and forceps delivery. I wonder if my pain had been better managed earlier if this would have changed the outcome. NHS care is really just abysmal sadly.

Very very similar to mine. No one read or discussed my birth choices form I'd some. Went 11 hours with strong contractions but no one interested in me and no pain relief. Epidural fairly swiftly after the shift changed in the morning. Ended in crash section under general anaesthetic.

The only way you could eat was if you went up and got your own food, and it was all gone within 10 minutes, so if you were changing baby or in the loo you went without.

3 nights hospital stay though I was OK to go home after two, it literally took a full day and night of chasing up every hour to try and get the prescriptions and discharge paperwork so I could go home.

In the end I blocked a bed for a full day and night because no one could get their act together to discharge me.

I too gave birth during the pandemic (may 2020), left alone during my induction until I begged to be

Oops!

Begged to be checked and was told I was 9cm. Very long labour resulting in forceps, episiotomy and a tear and a very bruised baby. It's horrendous to be left alone like that.

This. There’s no ‘OMG’ moments there just your standard overrun NHS ones. I was induced in a heatwave before covid, I was admitted to the ward on a Sunday night. Induction began on Monday but there was no free bed on labour ward until early Friday morning. 4 days of pessary contractions, examinations, 3 hourly obs… I lost my shit and started crying on the Thursday night, I was exhausted and in pain and threatened to go home.

@WakeMeUpWhenTheCoffeeIsDone sorry you had such a rubbish experience! Hope you and DC are ok. My experience was similarly rubbish both times - my DS’s was worse as I was given the epidural when I told the midwife I could feel him coming out. She said he wasn’t. I begged her to look and it was a surprised “oh! So he is!”. I tore so badly I was in theatre for 2 hours after. Horrible experience overall. Sending you guys hugs 💐

That 'care' is just awful OP, I'm sorry to hear you had such a terrible experience. If you can face it I'd write it all down as an official complaint to the hospital - it may be ignored, but if everyone did this it may be useful when it comes to staff training.

The care (or lack of it) I recieved was similar - very little care from the midwives who couldn't wait to push us out of the door.

Massive hug - your experience sounds typical but still terrible.

Shite but normal I think. My birth was ok (although they didn’t check me regularly and they found out I was fully dilated by mistake, long story). Afterwards I remember being with a student midwife, in tears, barely able to move, naked in the shower, blood dripping down my leg and catheter (I couldn’t wee for 2 days). She was fairly sympathetic. But I was told by someone else that I was dressed inappropriately for the ward despite there being a curtain around me. I hardly ate, because walking with the bag in with appropriate clothing was too uncomfortable (hence the student coming to the shower with me). I’d have had more support at home tbh. I enjoyed my epidural but I’m doing everything possible to avoid going to the ward and if forgoing pain relief gets me home quicker so be it (all being well of course).

Unfortunately this is so common, speaking to friends and family that have experienced similar.
My hospital experience was horrendous after delivering my twins, I had a planned c section which went really well and wasn’t as bad as I had been fearing but after I had a bad reaction and spent the rest of the day throwing up, I also took longer than normal for feeling to my legs to return so couldn’t get up and about until very late in the evening. Once transferred to the ward my partner had to leave as visiting hours were ending and I was told I’d be able to buzz for help with the babies (I was in a side room) but quite often no one came. I remember it was so awful as I struggled to get out of the bed and feed and lift 2 babies! I remember one midwife saying to me we’re understaffed so can’t help! To top it off they took my catheter out at 1am and I remember not passing enough urine the next morning (I hadn’t properly drank for over 12 hours due to constantly feeding or holding one of the twins) and was barked at that they would recatheter me if I didn’t wee!
I was also kept in for longer than I should’ve been despite begging through floods of tears to go home because at least my partner would be able to pass me the babies to feed they refused then the next morning a lovely midwife who had started her shift checked and said she couldn’t understand why I was kept in! I was terrified of dropping my babies when I was feeding them as I was so tired and I couldn’t shuffle all the way back on to the bed so I was perched on the edge and kept feeling myself nodding - I was literally terrified!!
sorry that was long 😳 haven’t put it all down before!

it affected me for a while so I hope you’re okay now 💐

Whilst it sadly doesn’t sound unusual there’s no reason why you shouldn’t feel empowered to complain or feedback about your care. Would you consider contacting PALS with your experience? I had my first DC in 2018 so pre pandemic and complained via PALS about my postnatal care. Some of the issues could have been put down to understaffing but regardless it left me in a very emotionally vulnerable state of mind for a long time afterwards and I thought it was important that my voice was heard so perhaps another woman wouldn’t have to go through what I did. It took them a while
to get back to me and it was a long process (although that was mainly just waiting for the right people to be contacted) but very much worth doing and I was so pleased I’d done it. It was cathartic to me and from what they said in their reply, they had taken on board my complaints seriously.