Why am I not bothered

[GarlicCrackers]

Apologies if any of this is insensitive, im ND and speak my mind!

I'm 24 weeks pregnant and I don't know if things have changed in the last 12 years since DC1 but I honestly can't be bothered. I'm 33, my bmi is unfortunately over 30 so I understand I'll be higher risk. But it seems like I'm seeing someone every week or two and I just want to be left alone. I've had 4 scans, last one was today and she's healthy, strong heart beat, no concerns.

I am fine, I have no issues and I'm finding it exhausting seeing a midwife so frequently for a ten minute chat, or then I'm off to the hospital to wait for 2 hours to see a consultant.

I really really just want to be left alone. Maybe I'm naive in thinking I'd know if something was wrong and I understand loss can happen. But it's just dragging me down. I am suffering fairly badly from fatigue despite being on huge amounts of iron supplements (prescribed) maybe that is it?

Can I ask just to be left to get on with it?

Why are you having so many appointments? You can decline them of course and just see your mw at the usual checks. It's up to you!

Can you ask to have the chats via phone instead? That does sound really exhausting having to go to the hospital all the time.

The women on my dad's side have a blood clotting condition that I was tested for 11 years ago, it was deemed as non conclusive and this time they've decided its a no. I honestly don't know why. I don't know if different hospitals do it differently, or whether it's all in my head.

Apparently I have another 2 scans after 30 weeks which I definitely didn't have with DC1.

I'm just really tired and want to be left alone for the next 4 months. Anything that increases my fatigue lowers my mood. I could be over thinking it though.

Can you ask to be retested for the clotting condition? Might not be possible in pregnancy but might put an end to some of this, and genetic testing is more common now so you might get an answer. Hard to know who's overreacting without knowing if there's anything wrong with you. I obviously don't know what clotting condition you're talking about, but some are rare enough that they won't appear on a high risk list despite definitely being high risk so it just depends who is in charge of your care.

Obviously you can refuse any appointments, but maybe start by asking for the midwife obs to be taken at consultant appointments so you don't have to have two appointments on the same day.

You can refuse scans, yes. I wouldn't.

They'd be remiss to not offer you the appointments given you're higher risk, and you'd be foolish to decline them. Surely your baby's health is important enough to put up with a bit of boredom?

Yours is a high risk pregnancy. You'd be foolish not to accept all of the care they are willing to give.

Your body, your baby, your rules. Ultimately everything is optional. However, if you're being recommended to have all these appointments, there's probably a reason they're recommending them if you get me. If you decline the appointments and there was an issue - could you live with that? No hate, no pressure, just food for thought x

Think yourself lucky. My youngest is twelve weeks old and IVE NEVER MET MY FUCKING MIDWIFE!!! I also had a student midwife turn up on her own the day after I got out of hospital who told me “I’m very nearly qualified but I’ve never had a mum who had as big a bleed as you so I’ll need to phone for advice”. Send your midwife up here. We’ve got two midwives covering 8 villages

The NHS is low on resources and money. If you are being given these appointments it’s because you need them. And your baby needs to be monitored.

2 more scans after 30 weeks doesn’t seem like a lot.

your issue seems to be your tiredness. When did you last check your iron levels? You might need a doctor to check that plus what supplements your’re taking.

I felt the same with my first pregnancy and I was almost anaemic, the dr prescribed a supplement (one that is not over the counter) that I took on empty stomach with vit C and in a few weeks I felt so much better.

igot extra scans for my first pregnancy also due to medical reasons and they picked up static growth (no growth) for my baby and was induced. There is a risk of still birth so I was very glad to have them.

good luck with your pregnancy

You can say no to appointments if you genuinely feel they are pointless. You can also request to have a phone appointment. I did this after countless hours waiting in a mask while my partner wasn't even allowed in the waiting room and had to stand outside the clinic in the cold/rain! We live over an hour from the hospital and it just got too much towards the end.