Hi,
I’m new to this forum but looking for advice please.
I had a very traumatic birth back in 2012 and it’s still affecting me now psychologically.
I had a great pregnancy but a very slow, long labour that lasted for 4 days. I encountered a very rude midwife who made me feel like a complete idiot. She ridiculed me for returning to the hospital, argued with with my partner and my mum about the length and time of contractions and then she performed a sweep on me without my consent. She just announced “oh I’ve done a sweep!” We were horrified.
She failed to identify that my baby was in a back to back position and it was a student midwife who identified his position in the end.
Another midwife I had who was with me while I was in the birthing pool forgot that the baby was in a back to back position and mistook his forehead for the back of his head. She spent most of her time writing some sort of essay and was of very little support to me. she later lied to the consultant about me passing water in the pool. I ended up having a catheter that filled 3 containers.
I was in active labour for a number of hours and then told that I had been pushing too long. I was taken to a side room and told that the baby was stuck and that I needed to go into theatre but couldn’t because only one was open and there was a lady with a major haemorrhage. This is a huge birthing hospital in the North West of England with just one theatre open!! My partner and my mum were told that a forceps delivery was needed but because of the baby’s position it had a very low success rate. I wasn’t prepped for a C section so god knows what on earth would have happened if the forceps weren’t successful.
By way of a miracle my baby was born healthy and without any complications.
Because he was healthy and I was so relieved I put it all to the back of my mind but after a year I started to get flash backs and I wrote to the hospital detailing the horrific time I’d had and was invited to discuss my notes. Well it was a complete waste of time and felt like a damage limitation exercise.
I have been terrified to have anymore children because of the trauma and sadly suffered a miscarriage in 2016.
Recently I requested my notes which have come in the post today.
Most of the writing is scribble, it’s very frustrating. There is no sign of the sweep in the notes which I find ridiculous and the rude midwife hasn’t put her name she’s just scribbled her signature. I know her first name but not her second name. All the other signatures have a clear written name next to them.
I just don’t know what to do with this now. I feel like there were so many failures and that a midwife should not be allowed to get away with being rude and performing a sweep without consent. I feel like I was too naive in the past and I now feel very protective of my younger self.
There also needs to be more support for women and their families who experience birth trauma.
Apologies for the long post. Any advice would be very much appreciated.