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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

If I hire a private midwife or doula will the hosp us it as an excuse to just abandon us in labour?

21 replies

whomovedmychocolate · 25/01/2008 20:27

I'm thinking of hiring a midwife who works as a doula part time (yes I know, I don't know quite how it works either), but she's worked for many years at the hospital I'm delivering at.

However I have this nagging doubt which says: 'if they see her, they will all use it as an excuse to leg it and if this is the case then why the hell am I going to the hospital'?

While I'd quite like them to butt out as much as possible, I'd also like to know they were at least around. In my last labour I had a one on one midwife because I was induced but I'm told that this is not normally the case now.

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scottishmummy · 25/01/2008 20:34

No the hospital has a statutory duty to treat you the patient with their own staff whom the employ/train. so the clinical responsibility for you the pt remains with the hospital, they can however request the doula not present at certain interventions eg CSection. you by registering at that hospital are agreeing to, and expected to be compliant with their care

whomovedmychocolate · 25/01/2008 20:36

Yeah I thought that too but they don't have to supply one on one care. They can just have someone stick their head round the door every hour or so.

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Pruners · 25/01/2008 20:38

Message withdrawn

whomovedmychocolate · 25/01/2008 20:47

Believe me pruners, I'm not going in until I absolutely have to - I understand if you turn up 2cm dilated and doing fine they don't need to sit there - in my hospital they put you in a set of rooms for this purpose and only move you to delivery when you are in very active labour with an estimated under four hours to go.

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Pruners · 25/01/2008 20:48

Message withdrawn

Lulumama · 25/01/2008 20:57

but do you really want a MW there the entire time if you have your own doula/ midwife? MW should leave you to get on with it, until it is apparent birth is imminent or a problem arises as long as you have adequate support.. your doula can do the hand holding,back rubbing, helping you to the loo etc.... the MW should be a ring of the buzzer away should you suddenly need her

whomovedmychocolate · 25/01/2008 21:37

Pruners - yes it is. The thing is - last time I was an emergency admission, they wanted to induce me there and then but had no delivery rooms available so they parked me in a side lounge for FOUR HOURS with DH.

A MW came in once and then when I actually collapsed, and DH rang the buzzer it took five minutes before anyone turned up (though they did take it seriously and rush me to a recently vacated room then). So you see my confidence levels in them aren't high (hence the need for having someone else there who I can trust).

But I'm also thinking 'does this make sense - paying this person extra in order to get less care from the hospital'

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Lulumama · 25/01/2008 21:44

if you are going to get less care regardless, then pay for the doula, she will be worth her weight in gold. don;t forget that she will also do valuable birth preparation with you and support you afterwards

whomovedmychocolate · 25/01/2008 21:50

Hmm. Yes but that makes me angry too. Oh I'm just a hormonal sod tonight.

It's looking less and less likely I'll get my VBAC too - my SPD has already kicked in and I'm only getting till noon before I totally cease up and am unable to walk at all! At 13 weeks this isn't great news.

So I'm having a whinge, sorry.

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Lulumama · 25/01/2008 21:53

don't be sorry !! SPD does not equal c.section necessarily

mctimoney something or other meant to be good

some sort of chiropracter type thing or osteopaty

have a look at pelvic partnership website

and try wrapping a wide and long piece of fabric round your hips and under your bump to support you and hold your pelvis a bit tighter

sorry you are feeling

whomovedmychocolate · 25/01/2008 21:58

Yep, did all that last time, still spend much of my pregnancy in a chair! I found an osteopath that really helped, then later found out that what he'd done helped short term but then caused long term problems because my legs were overextended (hard to explain at this time of night).

Actually it's not the SPD so much, I'm hypermobile, so loose joints are frankly quite dangerous, my hips dislocate entirely during pregnancy and if I try and walk on them, I can actually cause some serious damage so I have had to take the 'no chances, sit on your birth ball and do bugger all' approach in the past.

I'm being referred to the obstetric physio who no doubt will give me yet another large tubigrip for my hips and some shiny new crutches.

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EachPeachPearMum · 25/01/2008 22:35

wmmc- sorry you're having such a hard time.
I've seen you around lots under various guises (in fact, just enjoying your thread of Fri 12-Jan-07 15:53:53 at the moment as its been revived!) and you always manage to make me laugh!
I know dd's pg was difficult, but this time round- you know your body's reactions to pg. Hopefully this will help things go a little smoother- you know what you're facing IYSWIM.

Don't have any experience of what you're going through, or have much practical advice to offer, but I do know you have a lot of people on here who will be here with you through it, and listen and support, even if they can't make things easier.

Don't do virtual hugs, so its a

HarrietTheSpy · 25/01/2008 22:41

Whomovedbychoc
When DD was born my IM came to the hosptial when we had to transfer and there was a midwife tehre the whole time. COuld have been because i was looking Csection-y by then, it was quite late on. Nevertheless - my IM knew quite a few of the midwives and other staff anyway - if you hire one whose familiar with your area that is one of the great benefits in fact. If she sees you aren't getting the sort of attention you need - ie there's an issue - she can manage this for you.

whomovedmychocolate · 25/01/2008 23:27

Ah thanks eachpeachpearmum. Am currently enjoying the latest arse sex debate which is cheering me up, if only the amount of info people spill each time.

Harriet - that's interesting. The one I'm hiring works p/t as a mw on the unit I'm delivering on.

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MarsLady · 25/01/2008 23:31

I think you'll be fine with her wmmc. I'm sorry that your pregnancies are so tough.

MWs don't tend to abandon you if you go in with a doula (at least it hasn't happened on my watch to date).

Right...bed calls!

VictorianSqualor · 25/01/2008 23:33

WMMC, I think personally, at the JR, from what I saw of them last week when I went in, I'd be happy to have a doula and maybe not tell them she was a doula??

I mean, my MIL is coming with me and has been briefed loads on what I want etc plus she works at the JR (in the childrens hospital, but wont be afraid of telling them how it should be because of ehr experiences) so I'm thinking maybe if you do feel 'abandoned' if you've discussed this with your doula then she could help you get the care you want?

Hope you get your VBAC too, I have been pleasantly surprised with the support I've had even though Katherine is obviously against it, she said their policy is that it's my body, my baby and my labour all they can do is advise and then support. so hopefuylly you wont have too much opposition.

Pruners · 26/01/2008 09:07

Message withdrawn

hertsnessex · 26/01/2008 19:54

wholovedmychoc,

replying tto your op, it does not mean the staff will give you any less care or attention. ive been a doula for a couple of years now and my clients have nevver experienced this, and i certainly have never seen it.

go for the lady you have met if it feels right and you can build a good relationship with her beffore your birth.

cx

SnappyLaGore · 26/01/2008 20:06

wmmc
my spd wasnt as bad, or as early as yours. and this could be amazing coincidence since i have no evidence whatsoever other than my own experience, but i took high doses daily of arnica 30's when my spd was v painful... for a week or two or three (dont remember clearly) and the pain reduced dramatically, mobility increased likewise and by the time i gave birth it was almost gone already, which was v surprising.

just sharing the info for you to make your own judgement on.

whomovedmychocolate · 26/01/2008 21:24

Interesting Snappy. I took a lot of arnica after having DD and my SPD vanished almost overnight (apparently quite common after delivery) so maybe there is something in it.

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SnappyLaGore · 26/01/2008 21:39

ooh, thats interesting.

i hope you get the birth you want, and the spd isnt too much of a bitch this time round. fwiw, id have a doula if i could and was having a hospital birth

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