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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Suggested reading for someone terrified of birth!

36 replies

MissingMyHeels · 25/01/2008 16:25

I was told at 16 weeks that I would need to have a C section due to a severe fall that I had. However, consultant I saw today (am 34 weeks) told me that he wouldn't suggest a C section as it shouldn't make the problem better or worse.

I am kind of happy that I don't have to have a C section as I was very worried about recovery but I equally feel terrified and completely unprepared for a natural labour and I know I need to be mentally on board to have a good birth.

Please suggest some inspiring but honest reading for me! I feel like it has been thrown on me and now I feel completely out of control and so, so, so, so scared.

TIA,
The Biggest Wimp EVER

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Original poster

MissingMyHeels · 27/01/2008 11:10

I thought I might be too late to find a doula and also not really sure how to find one! Is there a website?

Partners aren't allowed to attend ante-natal classes as the room they happen in is too small. We have a Baby Basics class at the Portland booked but I think that is more focussed on what to do with a baby than the birth but it is a 1-1 session with a midwife so she may be able to go through some bits with him.

OP posts:

MarsLady · 27/01/2008 11:12

Go to find a doula and put in your postcode

Where are you based? Are you in London because I know at least one doula who is free. (I'm completely booked up)

Lulumama · 27/01/2008 11:13

Marslady offers private antenatal classes in London, and one to one birth preparation. as does hertsnessex.

www.doula.org.uk and www.nurturingbirth.co.uk both have a 'find a doula' service available, free of charge

Original poster

MissingMyHeels · 27/01/2008 11:15

Thanks for the link Mars - I am in Epsom, Surrey - possibly do-able for someone in South/South West London but if they are north I would probably be too far. If they are fairly near please let me know as I think it would certainly take some pressure off of my partner too, he is terrified now!!

OP posts:

MarsLady · 27/01/2008 11:19

Can you email me mars at mammydoula dot co dot uk?

Original poster

MissingMyHeels · 27/01/2008 11:24

Emailed!

OP posts:

spinspinsugar · 27/01/2008 11:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stockings · 27/01/2008 15:53

Sorry to hear that you're so afraid of the birth.

All the suggestions here are great. I'd certainly recommend Childbirth Without Fear it's an interesting read and not a typical baby book. Also Birthing from Within is great. Spiritual midwifery was lovely, although when I first opened it I looked at the pictures and thought you've got to be kidding!

As a hypnotherapist and HypnoBirthing practitioner, I work with women all the time who are anxious about the birth. If you don't fancy this route fine, but my tips would be try learn some basic breathing and relaxation techniques.

The idea of a doula is a great one as this will give your partner the space to focus on supporting you rather than worrying about what's right and what's not.

Good luck, I'm sure things will be great

fairylights · 27/01/2008 20:09

hi again MMH - just wanted to say that i had a doula for my first birth and could not recommend it highly enough - think it made ALL the difference for me, so if you can get a doula then go for it! Loads of people thought i was a bit odd to have her and couldn't see why we should bother spending the money but it was worth every penny for us and we don't have a lot to spare! All the best to you

MarsLady · 28/01/2008 00:09

Right.. you should be sorted doula-wise now my lovely. Have emailed you and given out contact details. Spoken to each of them. Lovely women!

Rochwen · 28/01/2008 18:10

Dear MMH, I haven't read all the posts but this is what I think. Try to get a second opionion about the state of your fractures just so you can be sure they are properly healed. If they are fine still try and see an Ostoepath or a Chiropractor to see if your pelvis is properly aligned. If that's the case then I think you have a good chance of a straigh forward delivery. Approach your birth with an open mind in regards to painkillers etc and you'll be fine.

However, if your pelvis isn't completely healed then I would not recommend attempting a natural delivery. In that case I would ask for an elective c/s. If you are very firm in your request and given your accident they should let you have one. I had an elective c/s myself and it is not a big deal. It took all in all 45 mins. I was up 6 hours after delivery, out at a bbq after 8 days and driving after 2 and a half weeks. The wound healed very quickly and now, after 2 years the scar has completely faded. I had no problems bonding or breastfeeding my dd.

YOu say:

'My biggest fear is being cut, instrumental delivery or an emergency caesarean.'

An elective c/s would prevent all these scenarios and it would not affect your pelvis in any way.

Good Luck !

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