C-Section & feeling like a failure.

[Lillie1986]

I’m a first time mum and had an elective C-Section 31/08. DD was frank breech and at a 5:5 position, consultant made decision i needed to have a C-Section, i’d planned for a natural birth. I’m now two weeks out and feel completely distraught, like i’m a failure. My mum is helping with DD as I can’t do much, the C-Section ended up not been straight forward, and whilst one was trying to pull her out I had two pound my stomach to try and free her! She was very stuck and the cord was wrapped a few times.

Does anyone have an experiences to share? I feel like i couldn’t keep her safe inside me so I won’t be able to keep her safe outside and that i’m just a crap mum because I can’t do a lot.

@Lillie1986 you grew a baby in your body. Every drop of her blood and every spec of her skin came from your body! What an amazing thing.

I also had a C-section, I got an infection and felt very ill. I do know that without the C-section my baby would have died, and so might I.

With "She was very stuck and the cord was wrapped a few times." I can imagine that things could have gone very wrong and so the fact your baby came out safely is a total win.

Please, please see you are an amazing mum.

The future is out before you. Lots of wonderful things to do.

It sounds like post natal depression or at least baby blues. Do not allow that to steal your joy.

PS My baby is now almost 18!

You had major surgery which may well have saved your baby's life, thats a pretty good job of looking after her!
My own experience - I had emcs with my first, if we had waited just a minute longer he would have died. Then a month in nicu. I struggled for a long time and looking back, I think it wasn't the actual section but that none of it was what I expected. And the sheer terror as I knew something was wrong with the baby the whole process was horrible (I have to note the hospital staff were all amazing, it was the situation that was horrible, not them). I would get very upset seeing other new baby pics on fb etc, births on TV. In hindsight I think I had some form of PTSD and I wish I'd have recognised this and sought help at the time.
Second baby I had an elective just because I was so terrified about the baby's health (all fine) this was a much better experience as I knew what to expect.
I hope you get to speak to the midwife who deals with traumatic births.
Big hugs xx

I had a c section. I didn't experience your feelings but it doesn't define you as a parent. Your baby was born successful that's what's important 💜