Is the post natal ward the fifth circle of hell?

[Fluffygreenslippers]

Because everyone I’ve spoken to has received shocking care, if you can even call it that. Following on from my other thread about labour I thought I was share my experience of the post natal ward. I hope that’s okay. It’s very long!

So after the delivery I was wheeled to the recovery ward to recover. The recovery ward was actually lovely. There was no one there except one nurse. It would have been a great time for me to finally sleep except someone decide it was time to clatter a bucket around outside.

I was pretty much in shock. I suddenly had a baby. A nurse came in and showed us things. I don’t remember, I was too tired to do anything. I still had the cannula in my arm which was extremely painful, my whole hand and wrist had swollen up from the constant iv. I still have staining now from iv leakage.

I had an idea that once I was up and about I could go home. So I fought to stand up and walk around, even though I felt like I had been hit by a train. I was in the recovery ward all day although thinking back it only felt like an hour? Anyway as the day wore on they wheeled me into the post natal ward.

As I was wheeled in, a pig faced woman with her boyfriend glared at me. Like really scowled, like I had farted on her birthday cake or something. The boyfriend gawped at me. I was exhausted and baffled. It was 8pm and DH was told he had to leave. He wasn’t allowed to stay with me. I broke down in tears. I have never felt such despair as I did in that moment. A nice nurse asked me why I was crying. She reassured me that the staff were there to help and not to worry. Ha! DH left.

The day staff left and the night staff came. The scowling woman in the bed opposite started groaning and crying out, saying she was in pain. She did this at regular intervals. I found out later she had a uterus infection. I don’t know where her baby was.

A couple of hours passed. The baby and I looked at each other. He did a poo. I had never changed a nappy in my life. Perhaps one of the nurses could just show me..? I went to have a look for the nice nurse. Oh silly me she had left. The night staff were all sitting in the office and looked at me like I had two heads when I peered in. I managed to change a nappy, and feed him. I later found out the nappy was backwards.

An assistant came to check the babies temperature. She said it was too low. I was suddenly terrified that somehow they would take him away from me.

The baby started crying. The huffing woman opposite started shouting at me saying she wasn’t going to listen to THAT all night. She started an angry call to her boyfriend, complaining about her pain and the noise my baby was making. I felt flustered and embarrassed and was trying not to cry. Let me tell you I am a gobby cow usually. In usual circumstances I would have offered to knock her out. But I’d lost three litres of blood. There were thirty stitches in my vagina. I could barely walk. I felt scared and vulnerable. None of the midwives were around.
The woman started aggressively chomping bbq flavoured crisps. I was so tired. I hadn’t slept since Tuesday night & it was now Friday. I lay down and finally started to go to sleep when the woman opposite started snoring and grunting like a pig. Then I heard music which gradually got louder. Had the woman got a radio on? The baby cried again, the woman woke up and started shouting at me again.

I picked up the baby and staggered to the nurses station. The door was shut. I knocked. No one answered so I opened it anyway. They all glared at me. THEY were playing the radio. Playing a loud radio! At 12am! On a post natal ward! I told them that I wanted to be moved. They argued with me saying they couldn’t move people wherever they wanted. I insisted, tears streaming down my face. One nurse agreed to help me.

I was moved into another room. It was freezing cold. I realised that all the windows were open! I went around shutting them but some I couldn’t reach. I asked a nurse if she could shut them and she just looked at me and walked away. During the night a woman who had had a c section asked if a nurse might pick up the baby for her. The nurse said do it yourself. Another loudly gossiped about her 50th birthday plans. It was 4am at this point. I managed to sleep for 45 minutes. The nurse then came and banged an empty plate on my tray waking me up. An hour later breakfast was served which was brown bread toast. I opened my mouth to tell her I was celiac but she had already fucked off.

At this point I text my husband. I had left him alone all night as I knew he was sleeping but I told him to come get me. I was leaving and if they didn’t let me go I would call the police.

Finally the day staff came, and the ward manager came to talk to me. She said I could go home. Unfortunately I had to have a transfusion and the baby various tests.

We finally escaped at 6pm on Saturday. I had been admitted at 12pm on Wednesday. During that time I had slept approximately 2 hours and eaten nothing.

What was your experience of the post natal ward?

Well you were very lucky then. That's how it shouldbe, but for many of us it wasnt.

Glad to see this attitude, but what's the excuse for playing loud music in the night? Standing around doing nothing and gossiping when mums are asking for assistance? Not everything can be excused by poor funding and being budy, there are far too many staff members at NHS materniyu wards who don't give a shit, and this needs to be called out and changed.

I hated my time on the post natal ward, but reading some of these stories it was brilliant in comparison. Some lovely and helpful midwives, some patronising wanker ones. I was trying to get out of there as fast as I could as my husband couldn't visit at all (Covid) and I was really struggling with everything more or less on my own.

Maternity care is awful, although yes of course, I am grateful that it's free. It does sound like it was so much better 30-40 years ago though - government has screwed the NHS into the ground

@PurplePansy05

Seems that way! I was so scared before I went into hospital because I read so many threads like these saying how awful it would be.

I just wanted to balance that for other first time mums reading this, it's not always completely awful. I was moved to a side room the second night without asking too, and a midwife spent time with me that night teaching me to feed lying down and set the bed up so it was safe for us both. Seems I was very lucky, they were extremely busy but no one made me feel like I was inconveniencing them.

The attitude of some of the nurses and midwives on my postnatal ward was truly awful. I cannot fathom how or why they got into their profession.

There were some absolutely lovely staff members who went above and beyond, but they were fewer in number to the awful ones.

I don't doubt that the NHS is deliberately underfunded and that makes me very angry, but I'm not sure being underfunded is an explanation for the hateful attitude towards mothers that I witnessed.

I felt the same. I saw some genuine cruelty towards new mums. I get that staff are over-worked but that's not a normal response.

My post-natal care felt like something out of the Crimean. I've started a savings account to pay for DD to go private if appropriate when she has a baby (many years from now).

When I had my DD and she was in SCBU and I desperately wanted to go and see her and breastfeed (which the SCBU nurse told me I could do), the midwife on the ward that night wouldn't let me go as I was in pain so she wouldn't let me walk there and said there was no one to push me there in a wheelchair. I spent that first night crying instead of sleeping. Thankfully she was discharged from SCBU the next day and was with me on the ward for the rest of my time there (5 days, she lost too much of her birth weight so I couldn't be discharged until she started putting weight back on)

In contrast when I had DS seven years later the post-natal experience was lovely, they had started letting partners stay in some rooms (all the rooms were two beds, some were for two mums and others were for a mum and her partner, though if the partner's bed was needed they'd have to leave) so OH was with me the whole time taking care of everything except breastfeeding.

I was left in my own crap and filth and they were late on my pain meds following a c section. I was alone with a baby who just cried. I was lonely and scared. I literally rugby threw her to me. After hours of unanswered calls I self discharged.

What on earth has happened to our NHS. I had mine back in the 70s and it was amazing. We had wards of 4 mothers and babies, we all:stayed in for 7-10 days. Nurses were were always on hand to help, babies were out in the nursery at night for the first 3 days to make sure you got some sleep. Trollies came round with nappies, and nighties for the babies every day or you could just go and get them yourself.
You were taught how to bathe a baby, handy when you'd never done it before.
Visiting hours were 1 hr in the afternoons partners and husbands only. 2 hrs visiting in the evening for other family. No husbands allowed to stay with you thank goodness.
3 amazing meals a day brought in by the nurses while we all sat round a table to eat. Hot drinks in the evening, choice of hot milk, hot chocolate or Horlicks.
I was sorry to go home.

@Fluffygreenslippers did her baby never appear the whole time you were with her? Do you think that might something to do with the way she felt?

I’m not saying that gives her an excuse to treat you like shit but maybe try to rise above.

@soundsofthesixties the Tories happened unfortunately. And a general decline in quality of life.

On my postnatal ward, there were 8 mums and babies. Dads slept in it as well on chairs. Babies crying all night. The evening meal was brought to your bed (🤢) but breakfast and lunch were down the corridor, you had to collect your own within the hour slot. I napped off and missed it most mornings after an exhausting night unable to sleep. Not that I could get out of bed and walk down a corridor after a huge episiotomy anyway, the pain was so bad I had to roll off the bed for days and crawl. I can’t describe how bad the lack of sleep after birth is - I was on the verge of hallucinating after 5 days. Visiting kids ran riot, flapping my curtain open when the midwife was examining my stitches. One bathroom and loo between the 8 of us (and the dads used it as well despite being told not to). I remember saying at the time it felt more like a field hospital experience.

Oh god I'm so sorry to hear the horrendous experience you had.
I'm going to share mine which was actually wonderful. I was admit to labour ward in Feb in Altnagelvin in Northern Ireland. Ended up with emergency section and labour staff just wonderful with me all the time and super supportive gave me what every drugs or support I needed.
Recovery ward was good too was well looked after husband was helped to change and feedbm baby as we hadn't a clue as FT parents.
Transferred to post natal ward which was boiling I will say. But it did mean I didn't have to fad trying to get dressing gown on.
Staff brought me tea and toast as it was 1am. And I was ravenous.
Staff helped me pick up baby, change baby, bath baby etc. Anything I needed. I was Brought water and baby formula and my meals by orderlys. Food was actually quite nice.
When we left the nurses helped me make sure carseat was buckled in right before we left.
I felt so very well take care of. So maybe it depends on tbe hospital?
Wish you had my experience.

My first postnatal ward experience was awful too. I think it's a horrible, underfunded, stressful environment so they have to take what staff they can get and the ones who stick around are often not the best and get desensitized to the misery.

They have targets for all sorts of clinical outcomes but not maternal stress - which is a shame as I'm sure it plays a role in pnd, breastfeeding, bonding and healing, developing infections etc.

That said, my first birth was hard and postnatal ward for a week was hell. Second time the birth was straightforward and I was only in for a night, the same ward conditions didn't bother me at all.

Yep I relate to others's stories so much. The trying to get to a baby in neonatal and being told they were too busy so I inched down the corridor in agony holding myself up on a hand rail. All the staff being locked away in a room with a takeaway and tv and a hostile response when I came to find them as someone on the ward was crying out in agony. Blood in the showers. There was one overnight midwife who did take very good care of me and got me out. But she was an anomaly.

It's not my favourite place and I think the situation and who looks after you makes a massive difference.
There are people everywhere in the nhs (I work for for nhs myself) that you actually can't believe so the job, either they are just not the caring type or perhaps used to be but the strains and over working for years have knocked it out of them.
I've had a mix of both. When my little girl was in NICU I was trying to do my post catheter wee and someone thought it was appropriate to come and do my observation whilst I was sat on the toilet (I was in such a state mentally at the time I didn't even question it) she then went on to ask me "when had my baby passed?" Which she hadn't and was being looked after on NICU. So then I thought she knew something I didn't. So pretty awful experience. Then the day after a lovely midwife came to see me and I was so hormonal I literally burst in to tears and she sat and held me so tight it meant so much and made everything seem better.
I think the people who care for you make a massive difference. The fact you have people who you think "why the hell are you in this profession" will never change I'm afraid

I have to echo what others have said about going to find help and feeling like you're disturbing the midwives/nurses etc.
After an eventful very long labour that ended in an EMC - I'll never forget trying to get my baby to latch at 1am on the second night.. so I went to find some help.. I found a few midwives at their desk reading the papers, when I came over and said 'excuse me' they looked up at me as if I was an alien. After I politely made my request for some help BFing, one of them silently put her paper down, got up, came to my bay, sat me down on the chair, I put the baby on, and she just smiled & nodded and said 'looks fine' and left again...
2 minutes later baby was screeching again and I reached for the formula..
That night I saw noone again, I couldnt sleep as baby only wanted to be held and I was so tired I was terrified I'd fall asleep and drop her.. I waited as long as I could, called DH at 5.30am and begged him to get back asap as I was so scared of dropping the baby.
I will say that the 1st night I had a lovely midwife who sat with me, chatted, gave me toast at 1am, helped me get some formula, was encouraging with BFing whilst also recognising that I needed rest so said 'come on, lets try a bottle' & helped me try to get some sleep.
But even then, the atmosphere of the whole place was really unpleasant.. and you CANNOT get any sleep.

I've managed to avoid the postnatal ward with both my babies.

Both my births have been on the midwife-led unit attached to the same major regional hospital. Both NHS.

After my first birth I was in a private room where DH could stay over (but only in a chair). DC1 was a very fast labour for a first and was quite small though not actually underweight. I was absolutely determined to BF and he just wasn't latching. I was in for 2 nights and supported in feeding him colostrum from a syringe until we cracked feeding directly from the breast. I was told to ring the bell for help every feed, so I did and someone came. Some midwives were lovely and some grumpy but overall I was looked after.

I don't know why they put me in a private room and I didn't want to ask in case it was a mistake and they realised.

DC2 was a textbook, uncomplicated birth and he latched on and started feeding away within 45 minutes. He was born at about 8pm and DH and I were allowed to stay in the lovely delivery suite on the MLU that night, which had a double bed as well as a mat on the floor to sleep on. I was full of adrenaline so couldn't sleep until the early hours. A lovely student MW kept popping in to do the baby's obs and also get me painkillers and extra tea and toast. We were home by lunchtime the next day.

I have heard from friends that the postnatal ward in the same hospital is hellish. I feel very lucky to have had the experiences I did, and wonder why it's so different. Maybe the midwife led unit is funded or organised differently. However, they only deal with uncomplicated births, and the complicated births probably require more postnatal support.

Perhaps unusually, i had a great experience, but perhaps I'm in the minority. Locally though my hospital has a good reputation for maternity care, but that doesn't seem to be the case everywhere.

It wasn't perfect - painkillers weren't always on time, communication was poor and a couple of midwives were grumpy.

But, it was clean, they were attentive within a minute or two of bells being called - and they stressed to me that it was fine to press it whenever I needed it. They brought food to my bedside, had homemade hot meals (made at home by one of the midwives and reheated) for women arriving who wanted more than toast, they did nappies, kept bringing me jugs of water, offering cups of tea etc.

Providing they aren't rammed, you can choose to stay longer if you want - I know women in my local area who have managed to stretch it out to 3 nights when only 1 was required as it was a nice break from other children at home. Both times i was offered discharge after one night but opted to stay for 2.

I'm not saying this to gloat, but to show that is not always awful, and that there are some experiences as well.

What? The one that told her to shut up and was threatening?

“I had an idea that once I was up and about I could go home. So I fought to stand up and walk around”. - Me too. I also showered and dressed, brushed my hair. Apparently this was a red flag that I had possible PND. I did not. I just wanted to get out! I also didn’t know how to change a nappy. I was lucky to be given a private room. Which is odd considering they thought I had PND. I was left in the private room and nobody checked on me or DD. Midwives were awful. Doctors were lovely. Very odd.

I really really don't get the having to collect meal from down corridor thing.. this is why I went without hot food for days. Women have had c sections or painful bits which make it hard to walk and they're forcing us to get it ourselves? Every other time I've stayed in hospital they bring it to your bed! But we had the double whammy of being in pain and having a newborn to look after!? I don't get it.

And after a nurse took pity on me and brought me a hot meal after 2 days.. I felt so much better. It helped my recovery.

Not sure if it was a covid thing, but for DD2 they brought all meals to my bed.
For DD1 I didn't eat because I couldn't walk to the breakfast room without collapsing, and DH wasn't allowed to go and get me anything because men weren't allowed in the breakfast room (despite being allowed on the ward generally).

I absolutely hated the postnatal ward. My strategy was always to get dismissed as quickly as possible. Unfortunately I had c-sections so always had to stay 3 days.

That's so wrong they're expecting women who recently gave birth to collect their own food. Sure, most will be able to walk, but even then the majority will have a newborn to deal with as well; but some women really can't. I bet those who had abdominal surgery on the surgical wards get meals delivered to their bed. Or those with trauma that haemorrhaged. Yet for some reason postpartum women are. And those who can't are the ones that need the food the most as well.

Definitely counting my lucky stars for my trust. All meals are delivered to the bed side, and (ime) always have been.

After the first time, I went armed with cereal bars, painkillers, bottles of water/ packs of ribena, packs of breakfast cereal, sweets, chewing gum, fruit, nuts with strict instruction to all visitors to bring me a meal