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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Is the post natal ward the fifth circle of hell?

130 replies

Fluffygreenslippers · 11/09/2022 19:09

Because everyone I’ve spoken to has received shocking care, if you can even call it that. Following on from my other thread about labour I thought I was share my experience of the post natal ward. I hope that’s okay. It’s very long!

So after the delivery I was wheeled to the recovery ward to recover. The recovery ward was actually lovely. There was no one there except one nurse. It would have been a great time for me to finally sleep except someone decide it was time to clatter a bucket around outside.

I was pretty much in shock. I suddenly had a baby. A nurse came in and showed us things. I don’t remember, I was too tired to do anything. I still had the cannula in my arm which was extremely painful, my whole hand and wrist had swollen up from the constant iv. I still have staining now from iv leakage.

I had an idea that once I was up and about I could go home. So I fought to stand up and walk around, even though I felt like I had been hit by a train. I was in the recovery ward all day although thinking back it only felt like an hour? Anyway as the day wore on they wheeled me into the post natal ward.

As I was wheeled in, a pig faced woman with her boyfriend glared at me. Like really scowled, like I had farted on her birthday cake or something. The boyfriend gawped at me. I was exhausted and baffled. It was 8pm and DH was told he had to leave. He wasn’t allowed to stay with me. I broke down in tears. I have never felt such despair as I did in that moment. A nice nurse asked me why I was crying. She reassured me that the staff were there to help and not to worry. Ha! DH left.

The day staff left and the night staff came. The scowling woman in the bed opposite started groaning and crying out, saying she was in pain. She did this at regular intervals. I found out later she had a uterus infection. I don’t know where her baby was.

A couple of hours passed. The baby and I looked at each other. He did a poo. I had never changed a nappy in my life. Perhaps one of the nurses could just show me..? I went to have a look for the nice nurse. Oh silly me she had left. The night staff were all sitting in the office and looked at me like I had two heads when I peered in. I managed to change a nappy, and feed him. I later found out the nappy was backwards.

An assistant came to check the babies temperature. She said it was too low. I was suddenly terrified that somehow they would take him away from me.

The baby started crying. The huffing woman opposite started shouting at me saying she wasn’t going to listen to THAT all night. She started an angry call to her boyfriend, complaining about her pain and the noise my baby was making. I felt flustered and embarrassed and was trying not to cry. Let me tell you I am a gobby cow usually. In usual circumstances I would have offered to knock her out. But I’d lost three litres of blood. There were thirty stitches in my vagina. I could barely walk. I felt scared and vulnerable. None of the midwives were around.
The woman started aggressively chomping bbq flavoured crisps. I was so tired. I hadn’t slept since Tuesday night & it was now Friday. I lay down and finally started to go to sleep when the woman opposite started snoring and grunting like a pig. Then I heard music which gradually got louder. Had the woman got a radio on? The baby cried again, the woman woke up and started shouting at me again.

I picked up the baby and staggered to the nurses station. The door was shut. I knocked. No one answered so I opened it anyway. They all glared at me. THEY were playing the radio. Playing a loud radio! At 12am! On a post natal ward! I told them that I wanted to be moved. They argued with me saying they couldn’t move people wherever they wanted. I insisted, tears streaming down my face. One nurse agreed to help me.

I was moved into another room. It was freezing cold. I realised that all the windows were open! I went around shutting them but some I couldn’t reach. I asked a nurse if she could shut them and she just looked at me and walked away. During the night a woman who had had a c section asked if a nurse might pick up the baby for her. The nurse said do it yourself. Another loudly gossiped about her 50th birthday plans. It was 4am at this point. I managed to sleep for 45 minutes. The nurse then came and banged an empty plate on my tray waking me up. An hour later breakfast was served which was brown bread toast. I opened my mouth to tell her I was celiac but she had already fucked off.

At this point I text my husband. I had left him alone all night as I knew he was sleeping but I told him to come get me. I was leaving and if they didn’t let me go I would call the police.

Finally the day staff came, and the ward manager came to talk to me. She said I could go home. Unfortunately I had to have a transfusion and the baby various tests.

We finally escaped at 6pm on Saturday. I had been admitted at 12pm on Wednesday. During that time I had slept approximately 2 hours and eaten nothing.

What was your experience of the post natal ward?

OP posts:
totallybonafido · 12/09/2022 06:48

Yep, it was so awful I ended up having a huge panic attack in there, which had never happened to me before. It messed me up for a long time and really ruined the early days with my first baby. I wasn't going anywhere near the place again so had a home birth with my 2nd and it was a million times better.

HeyBlaby · 12/09/2022 06:49

I was discharged yesterday and have to say my experience was fantastic, the staff were really good, I have zero complaints.

LovelyQuiche · 12/09/2022 06:57

I was in the PN ward for 4 days and it was horrendous…because they were so short staffed. But the staff were all kind and helped me as much as they could. I was disgusted at how some of the women spoke to the midwives - tutting at them, complaining about having to wait for them when they were so utterly stretched

70billionthnamechange · 12/09/2022 07:00

Honestly when I was weighing up having a 3rd, it's the reason I decided not to 😂😂

GreenGreenGrassBlue · 12/09/2022 07:04

Horrific and I was on Transition and Post Natal for 8 days as my baby was in SCBU. Can’t give my story cos it’s too traumatic. Safe to say one nurse was amazing and the rest were over -worked and uninterested. Thankfully there are doctors in my family who know doctors at the same hospital. Once that came out the care changed dramatically .

Littlegoth · 12/09/2022 07:04

Went in Weds for c section, left the following Monday. Been on my own most of that time as it was lockdown so my OH had been allowed 2 one hour visits, and baby had been quite poorly so it had been a tough few days, made worse by other patients being inconsiderate. One made FaceTime calls loudly all night. I ranted hysterically all the way home and passed out the second I reached the sofa. I hated people for a while after that.

Pinkychilla · 12/09/2022 07:20

Sorry to hear about your experience, not nice when your in such a vulnerable and shocked state and all it would have taken is for the staff to show some care and interest asking if things were ok and if you needed showing how to do anything or watching you change a nappy to give you confidence and a bit of kindness goes a long way, and that should be their job, I would follow it up with a complaint about the lack of care and compassion you received from staff and how they were not available and even if this were due to time constants it highlights a need for more staff and hopefully would be addressed in from of training or highlighting the short fall at least and help future mums get the care they need and even if you think your one complaint won't achieve much if more people did then that would build a bigger picture and they would have to take action. Hope things are better now your home and your feeling better, congratulations on your baby

FaazoHuyzeoSix · 12/09/2022 07:23

Yes it's hell
I couldn't post a detailed story because it was over 10 years ago and I have blanked out most of it but I remember it was horrific. Very little sleep, desperate women at the end of their tether and crying just ignored, very little help or support, I never managed to eat any hospital-supplied food as it was made so difficult to access - food was provided in a dining room at the end of the corridor, but you couldn't take your baby with you, but you couldn't leave your baby alone, so you could only eat if you had a visitor.

Fluffygreenslippers · 12/09/2022 07:27

@nocoolnamesleft @PurpleHeatherBlooms Nasty?! I felt sorry for her then she started screaming in my face! Twice! I didn’t say anything back to her. How is that nasty?

OP posts:
cocktailclub · 12/09/2022 07:28

First time it was hell. I recall blood and wee everywhere in the toilet and blood in the bath I desperately wanted. I cleaned it as best I could. Couldn't wait to get home.
Second time I was discharged same day as they had no beds which I was very happy to accept.
Third time they opened an empty ward and put me in a side room. It was very quiet but a bit eerie and I was frightened to leave the baby to go to the loo as it was pitch black and no staff anywhere. In the morning they brought me breakfast and I asked to go home.
Staff were all fairly nice but always far too busy to really help, advise or support. I'm not sure what the benefit of staying in was.

Fluffygreenslippers · 12/09/2022 07:31

SarahAndQuack · 12/09/2022 00:16

I agree. What a disgusting thing to say about someone.

I can well believe you had a hard time - so many people do, and it's awful that the NHS, which is wonderful, has been so badly damaged by a lack of funding. But ... ugh. You sound like a tabloid journalist trying to stir up emotions.

Ooo really. Maybe I can get a job on The Sun. You’ve cheered me up no end.

OP posts:
Fluffygreenslippers · 12/09/2022 07:33

Wouldloveanother · 12/09/2022 05:45

Anyhow, I look forward to your tale of returning home with the baby to a flooded house, a gas leak, the plumber from hell, the cast of Stomp moving in next door, and a malevolent neighbour coming round to hang on the door and scream at you. Or something like that.

No my neighbours are lovely and gave us some baby clothes.

OP posts:
takemetomybeach · 12/09/2022 07:41

I had a very, very similar birth to you, OP. Yes it was tough but having friends who have had stillborn babies, or had 4th degree tears, actually it was fine. I had a few weeks of real discomfort and then was broadly ok.

No one wants to be in a post natal ward. But millions are, every day. If the lady in the ward didn't have her baby with her then it is likely her baby is in NICU or didn't survive birth. Does she seem so pig faced now?

I think you're in for a shocker of a 4th trimester if things affect you as much as they seem to.

Fluffygreenslippers · 12/09/2022 07:51

takemetomybeach · 12/09/2022 07:41

I had a very, very similar birth to you, OP. Yes it was tough but having friends who have had stillborn babies, or had 4th degree tears, actually it was fine. I had a few weeks of real discomfort and then was broadly ok.

No one wants to be in a post natal ward. But millions are, every day. If the lady in the ward didn't have her baby with her then it is likely her baby is in NICU or didn't survive birth. Does she seem so pig faced now?

I think you're in for a shocker of a 4th trimester if things affect you as much as they seem to.

i’ve already finished the 4th trimester, baby is about to turn 4 months. It’s been a joy honestly, especially compared to the shitty pregnancy, labour and time in hospital.

I said or did nothing to that woman other than smile at her and she kicked off at me all night. I couldn’t help my baby crying because he was hungry, I fed him as promptly as I could.

I came here to rant and share my experience, which I’m more than entitled to.

OP posts:
W00p · 12/09/2022 07:53

Pretty much the same experience x 3.

BeatriceDalle · 12/09/2022 07:57

PurpleHeatherBlooms · 11/09/2022 23:49

The NHS are on their knees, nurses have families too and home lives. Did you not go to classes to teach you how to change a nappy? Everyone I know who has had children feels out of their depth but you learn to change nappies. I don’t think the nurse was ‘gossiping’ about her 50th birthday plans, perhaps telling other nurses, certainly not ‘gossiping’ FFS.

Your full post reeks of drama. Why would you call the police of you chose to discharge yourself? 🙄.

Get a grip because parenting gets a whole lot worse! You will encounter many annoying and stressful things along the parent journey.

Really nasty post.

OP, I agree with you. I had similar experiences. It’s shocking to read what you went through. If you were to have another baby, pay for a private room. I hope you’ve made a good recovery.

TheOceanClub · 12/09/2022 07:58

My experience was actually good as in terms of care/staff. Really can’t complain about that.
For dinner I chose some vegetarian thing and was surprised it actually tasted really good.

BUT we had to stay in the post natal ward for 5 days because me and LO needed some antibiotics. Well that was a biggest nightmare!!

christmascrazylady · 12/09/2022 07:59

Yes

wibblewobbleball · 12/09/2022 07:59

I had a lovely 24 hrs recovering in the MLU after my first. I will have to be on the post natal ward this time round and honestly I'm in tears reading these posts, I don't know how I will cope mentally with all of this.

bumpytrumpy · 12/09/2022 08:01

Yes all of this. Then had to go back to smiley NCT "friends" gloating about their home births

MsMiaWallace · 12/09/2022 08:03

OP completely agree with you.
In fact after my last baby it really affected me.

I was made to feel pathetic for asking for help for first standing up after c section & needing to go to the toilet.
I was at first rudely told to wait after breakfast, which was a good couple of hours away. I needed the toilet!!

Dirty blood stained night gown left on the floor for x2 days & blood on floor of bathroom. Really no need. This was during Covid too when allegedly deep cleans were happening.

Mommabear20 · 12/09/2022 08:06

No! That sounds awful! Both mine have been fab! Despite not being allowed my husband to stay (2 babies during a pandemic!🤦‍♀️) all the nurses, doctors, midwives and other staff couldn't have been more helpful and would even go round and ask if you wanted them to take baby for a walk for a little while so you could eat/sleep/rest. I got discharged with my son the same day as delivery, but with my daughter was in 36 hours, I'd much rather have been at home, but it definitely wasn't hell! No worries at all about the stay with my impending third!

RoseHarper · 12/09/2022 08:08

I think it depends a lot. Mine was a mix, I can identify with a lot of the above comments, but I also had a midwife who was fantastic. Each afternoon she tucked mums into bed, literally, stripped of babies for skin to skin, dimmed the lights came round with aromatherapy drops for your pillow and no-one was allowed into the ward for around an hour. It was bliss, it was the exception to my stay but I'll never forget her kindness. She also taught the first time mums how to bath and change our babies.

TheWayTheLightFalls · 12/09/2022 08:08

I think everyone's experience is probably quite similar but I wouldn't moan about it We are lucky to have a free national health service and I'm gratefully for it.

Sentiments like this contribute to why it is so shit. The NHS is not a kindly aunty doling out beneficence; it is a huge organisation that receives an enormous amount of money from our taxes. It’s not good enough that women who have just given birth (perhaps including some trauma and/or major abdominal surgery) are chucked in understaffed bays of 4/6 women and other people’s crying babies and expected to simply get on with it.

My first birth was good - we stayed overnight in the birth centre after and it was like a premier inn! But postnatal ward after a c section with twins, with the patient opposite a 16yo new mum waiting for a social services placement and plenty of worrying behaviour. No, it wasn’t good enough. And they also randomly decided to mix up ante and postnatal at that point, so women being induced next to wailing babies etc.

cptartapp · 12/09/2022 08:09

I was lucky enough to be given a side room both times which was great. But twenty years on I still can't forget or forgive the hideous HCA who seemed to take delight in waking me to complain I had filled the menu in wrong, or berating me because I had been in the toilet when they were doing the obs round.
There was blood on the back of the bathroom door when I was admitted and still there when I left. Funny what you remember.

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