C Section. Consultant Appt upset me

[WingingIt101]

Hi all

I'm sure I'm being hormonal and emotional but I would really appreciate some thoughts and advice from you all!

DD was born 4 days into lockdown one. Vaginal delivery, forceps, 3B tear. Initially very difficult recovery with toilet issues and ended up under perinatal mental health for ptsd which I think was enhanced by the isolation that came with covid. I have thankfully fully recovered both physically and mentally.

At the time of dd1 being born all health professionals involved in my care said "well you'll be an automatic candidate for an elective section for future pregnancies" - like it was a done deal. I had two birth listening experiences where I came to the conclusion that yes I did want to go for it with a section this time and would not be pushing (pardon the pun) for vaginal delivery.

As a result I was put under consultant care for ELCS. Had phone call around 18 weeks where it was all agreed that it was fully expected I'd have a section and would be back under midwife care until 2 scans and clinic appointments at 34 and 36 weeks to book in for section.

Arrived today and found that the baby has more fluid than expected (only just outside of the top end of normal but flags as polyhydrosis none the less) so I'm unexpectedly now going for additional bloods and a repeat of GTT. I am terrified of needles. It took a lot for me to have the GTT first time around and now to have worry about my baby and additional unexpected tests has thrown me.
I'm then sent to the waiting area where I hear the consultant have a go at the midwife because his first appointment hasn't shown up (not her fault although I'm sure annoying and is absolutely a waste of resource)

I get called in and he was so clinical. When I explained the above about why I was in his clinic he looked at me and said "well it's maternal request then, you have no obstetric reason for a section but we will do it"
I can absolutely appreciate that there's an element of choice in what I'm doing and there is nothing wrong with c section by maternal request but he made me feel more like I was choosing a section because I can't be bothered to deliver vaginally and not after months of thought and research and to try and avoid the trauma I experienced last time.

We talked through them what happens next, he had various bits of paper he needed me to take to about 3 different places and throughout was just very clinical and lacked any kind of reassuring manner. I had made it clear I was nervous and ultimately left without having asked things I wanted to ask and feeling less reassured and confident than when I walked in.

I guess it's normal for them to be so clinical and cold about it as the consultant?

Any experiences of excess fluid would be good as he just left it as needing tests not what might be up or how this might impact my baby.
Can I ask to see a different doctor when I go back in two weeks? Am I overreacting?

I had a very similar experience when pregnancy with DD2
Traumatic birth with DD1 and so 'chose' elcs for DD2, consultant said he didn't like doing sections unless necessary as he believed vaginal births were better for all parties but agreed (hilarious really for a man who'll never experience giving birth)
Ultimately its Your body, your birth, your rules.
As it happened I went into labour the morning of the section with DD2, agreed to labour for a bit and see what happened and had a very quick waterbirth, 2cm to baby in 2 hours which did restore my faith in my body a little but I was glad I didn't spend 9 months getting anxious about giving birth again.
Pregnant with DS1 now and planning a natural birth (although the bugger is breech and huge currently so we'll see!)
I think it's normal for nothing to be confirmed until around 36 weeks, stay strong and quote NICE guidelines if needed.
You can also opt to change consultant if you're not happy with their approach x

Thanks Loulou for sharing your experience.

Reality is it makes no odds - the plan is currently exactly as it was when I woke up today, he's just managed to make me feel like shit about it! It's taken so much thought, private counselling and worry from me to get to this point and he's undone it all in a few short minutes.

I'm also so worried about the excess fluid. Selfishly I have to have more tests which terrify me but I've spent all day upset and worried that I've somehow done something to harm the baby by getting this excess fluid - have I been careless and picked up an infection? Have I eaten the wrong stuff and developed GD?

I just wanted to enjoy it as probably my last baby and it has just been fraught with worry for one reason or another the whole way. I thought I might get a month to relax!

I had a similar experience with a consultant and I wasn't asking for a c section. It wasn't the section, it was just them.

In my case I was referred because of bleeding in my first pregnancy and 3rd degree tear.

He barely listened to me tbh. He had a student with him and I think wanted to look like Mr Big Shot.

He went to listen to the heart beat and I was only around 16 weeks. He put the Doppler in one location and declared I needed a scan. I told him I didn't want to know what I was having. The student asked the reasonable question of whether you could tell at 16 weeks and the consultant bit his head off.

I ended up in tears in that appointment and he just dismissed me back to the GP.

I was so glad to get back to midwife led care.

Honestly, it wasn't about what took you there. It was just them being a dick.

Oh and don't worry about the excess fluid just yet. They thought I had it too with my first, turns out the sonographer just inverted some numbers

My first was born by emcs by maternal request after 5 days of labour, when they got in there the baby was too big to exit. They didn’t change it after they realised it actually needed to be an emcs. I was fuming for months.
Try to relax and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and just keep the consultant in a box!

This is so interesting.

He had a student with him today too!! She was absolutely a silent observer, felt a bit sorry for her as he was snappy with the midwives and seemed most animated and bothered when he wanted to complain they hadn't prepared his packs properly.

Thank you. Apparently the upper limit of normal is 8 and I'm measuring 8.3

I get a terrible metallic taste but this is also a reflux symptom which I get outside of pregnancy and have had badly this time all the way through. I'm just worrying myself silly that my body has been trying to tell me I've got GD and I've been writing it off.

Baby tummy measuring totally normal though.

Ignore the categorisation of your CS. Both of mine were category 4 on paper, which made no sense to me as it had been made very clear to me that I would be putting my babies at significant risk if I attempted a vaginal delivery.

Sorry, but yes you're being hormonal

My baby was an unstable lie and i was told by one consultant no choice but a C-section and admission. Had to stay in hospital for 10 days before my section as they were busy and every single god damn day, a different consultant would come in and feel my tummy, try and decipher which way baby was today and convince me that they could magically turn baby and induce me and it would be wonderful. I had to say the same schpiel every day and I always was made to feel wrong and like I was choosing the easy way out for going for a section. I am sure it was something to do with pride and the consultants numbers re C-Section Vs natural delivery that made them do it. Try not to take it personally, whatever choice you make is the right one for you and the doctors will go with it, even if they are pricks about it.

I had a similar experience. He was incredibly misogynistic and very posh.

I took the consultant to task with my best condescending voice and lots of facts.

He asked if I was a doctor. I said no, just someone informed and interested in my health as he should be!

He completely changed tune and was as nice as pie.

Unfortunately these men are bullies. They bully their teams and they bully women. Make a complaint.

Don't let him faze you.

I don't know why people are so cowed by doctors. I mean, they're skilled and all, but they're ultimately there to serve us. Our taxes pay their wages, so they have absolutely no reason to be uppity or unfriendly.

It’s just a medical term, my first labour was an EMCS and my second labour was “maternal request”. Ultimately that’s what they are.

Dont sweat it. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy

Interesting they've all been men.

I saw a female doctor after the shitty consultant who was lovely. I'd been happy to have her do any pregnancy checks.

Thank you all. I've had a good chat with my community midwife today and can see that I'm definitely being hormonal - if I hadn't had the increased fluid and extra tests needed I'd have probably been able to brush it all off easier but all together, when I was totally expecting a really straightforward appointment was a bit overwhelming.

Like I say, it makes no odds really as I'm still getting my section! Just need to get through the tests now and hope for no complications.

@WingingIt101 I had polyhydramnios in both my latest pregnancies, on the severe end of the scale. Most of the time there is no cause for concern but it can be linked to GD (which is due to the placenta not anything you have eaten). Is baby measuring big? That would be another indicator of GD.

Excess fluid is a reason for a c section as it can brighten the chance of the cord or babies arm coming first not the head. It’s a small risk and now they know you will be monitored and possibly offered an early section. I don’t remember having additional tests for this. I’m sure your baby will be fine and this c section is no longer a maternal request, I wanted a vbac however due to excess fluid it became too difficult to consider it, sounds like you had a rough time and a section is best even without excess fluid. Birth is hard no matter what so give yourself some slack and prepare to welcome new baby!

My youngest had to be born early due to pre-eclampsia and my bloody pressure wouldn't come down on its own. I could not be induced due to having a previous failed induction and the risk of rupturing my previous emergency c-section scar. They still put him down as a maternal requested elective csection.

I had a similar experience when I was pregnant with my youngest around 32 weeks. I saw a consultant who was a locum and basically had no idea of the hospital procedures. She told me off for having a csection with my first baby (it was an emergency, not like I had a choice!). She told me that I'd need to have a csection with any other children and poo-pooed me when I said I was never having another after my second (still haven't had another!). I was measuring big and needed an immediate scan to check the baby. She sent me away and said hospital would send an appointment for a scan in the post. 20 minutes later, very worried midwife was phoning me telling me I shouldn't have been allowed to leave the hospital and I should have an immediate scan. I then had to go back to the hospital and the poor midwife who saw me basically had to put up with my hormonal rant while she scanned me.

Baby is measuring bang on 50th centile at all measurement points so no other indicators for them for GD

My bmi is over 30 so that's why I already had a gtt at 28 weeks and I've been getting a metallic taste a lot but this is also a symptom of the reflux I suffer with outside of pregnancy.

I had no idea it was to do with the placenta, that's really interesting.

So sorry so many of you have also had rubbish experiences!

You can see a different doctor, he doesn’t sound very nice but chances are when you turn up on section day he won’t be there anyway. I’d just get the form signed and try not to let him bother you, as easy as that is to say. I had one for maternal request and it wasn’t due to any previous birth or anything, just sheer fear of birth. They were really against me having it but obviously said if that’s what I wanted they would. They also really over emphasised the risks and told me risks of an emergency rather than an elective. I found that when I actually arrived on the day they were lovely and said I was really low risk, didn’t expect any complications etc. No experience of the fluid issue, hope everything is okay. If you’re scared of needles ask for a bit of local in your hand before the cannula, it was the sorest part of the entire thing (the rest was nothing) but the guy put some local in first which I thought was really sweet

It's not normal. Consultants in the 21st century are not expected to behave coldly and unsympathetically towards patients just because they are senior. I would wait until you have had your section then complain in some detail to PALS at the hospital. There will be an email address on the hospital website. If you don't know his name just give the date of the appointment. Patient feedback is a vital part of the appraisal process for all clinicians however senior and it's important that he realises his manner is not acceptable. You won't have to meet him or do anything formal but if you stick something in writing then it will be raised with him. Best of luck with the section!