Elective C-section due to Tokophobia - experiences? Private or NHS

[Katielouise1995]

I suffer from severe tokophobia (as well as a long history of anxiety and depression) and I have ended up with days long anxiety attacks, not sleeping or eating for days at a time and self-harming, needing to see the crisis team at A&E just at the thought of giving birth.

My partner and I are at the point where we need to make a decision about having children, even if that's gonna be a few years down the line and it has sent me into overdrive.

I need to know if having a planned C-section due to this problem is possible. I 100% understand the risks but the benefit to me is that I a) wouldn't spend 9 months self-harming beforehand and b) might actually have the mental capacity to care for a child afterwards!

Is this even possible on the NHS? NICE guidelines would suggest so but obviously hospitals often cannot implement them in practice due to resources. Is there a chance they could book me in then cancel it due to an emergency elsewhere and then me be unable to have one?

What would happen if I went into premature labour? Could I still have one?

I appreciate I may need to find private care which whilst awful is something I can accept and am prepared for. What are people's experiences with care? Also very important for me to know would be in the event of a premature labour if I couldn't have a C-section, I would need to know for certain that if I need pain relief, whatever level I can have it without a massive fight on my hands and waiting for hours until it's too late for an epidural...I should clarify I have no (well limited!) issue with needing instrumental delivery/emergency C section (obvs)/extra tearing or stitches - strangely those things are all secondary to the thought of being in unimaginable pain for hours with no help if needed. I also understand an epidural means you can still feel the pushing stage and pain there but again, I know I can do anything for say, an hour, just not for hours on end!

Please no judging, I know so many women do this naturally and I admire them so much but I simply cannot, probably the thinking about it is worse but you can't stop your thoughts!

I'm concerned the NHS would say "oh here's some counselling" and on that basis deny me a C-section. I have had a massive amount of counselling in my life already.

Thank you for anyone kind enough to share their experiences, it's massively appreciated!

Oh, I should also say, a few days before the planned date I had an appointment with one of the surgery midwives, they do swabs for mrsa, give you a pair of surgical stockings, explain what happens on the day, go through some medical checks about any existing medications etc.
They’re obviously not the ones who do the surgery, but they’re in the prep room and then the theatre and look after baby once delivered, and look after you in the recovery room before you go to the post natal ward.
They we’re lovely and it was a good opportunity to ask any questions about how the day would go.
Also, on the timing front. I was asked to be there at 7am, was assessed along with the other person on the planned list. Told I’d be second and asked to wait in the waiting room around 8am. A bit after 10 I was told to go and start getting ready, I’m sure I actually went into the theatre to get the epidural put in around 10:30ish and baby was born at 11:02. By 12:10 I was back in the recovery room, stayed there about an hour, then moved to postnatal.
I was kept overnight, they took my catheter out in the morning, had to do two wees that they measured to check everything was working ok. Then I was released mid afternoon.

@Katielouise1995 SBAM has answered your question better than I can having had the experience, but my discussion earlier this week with the docs seemed to run exactly in line with her experience. There wasn't any talk of having to have a "natural" birth unless I came in v v late in the day and they advised me it would be dangerous to do so. In fact that was a bit of a throwaway comment he made, which was swiftly followed by a "but as a first time mum, we would NOT expect to be seeing that" as I mentioned above. You see stories on here of women being in advanced labour in the hospital for many, many hours trying to push and then e.g. baby being stuck and then still switching/being switched to emergency CS.

Good luck!

I've just had my 2nd baby. I don't have tokophobia but had my 1st via emergency general anaesthetic c section so opted for elective 2nd time round which the consultant didn't bat an eye lid about.

I did go into premature labour (night before elective date) and still had him via c section.
It was also a very quick labour. Got to hospital at 8pm and was 8cm dilated and my baby boy was born at 9:23pm via section. So I wouldn't worry too much about going into premature labour x

Thank you!! Did they say you would need to wait until labour was established or just if you were having irregular contractions? My mum and grandma both had irregular contractions even in the final stage and weren't even believed they were in labour!

My consultant had agreed to an ELCS for mental health reasons, but unfortunately my waters broke at 35+1 (first baby). I was given some drugs to help baby's lungs etc and stayed in hospital for monitoring. But in the early hours of the next morning, my contractions started. I signed the paperwork for the CS (they continued to advise against it but granted my request) but, during the prep, my labour then progressed so rapidly that the CS was ruled out and my only pain relief option was gas and air. It was actually a lot better than I thought it would be and my recovery was very quick.

I don't mean to add to your worries, and my case is very rare, but I wanted to let you know it is possible for a first baby to be born too early and rapidly for an ELCS to proceed.

No I got told to come in as soon as I felt something starting which I did but I progressed very quickly and was 10cm as they gave me the spinal 😂 they were physically holding my son in as the needle went in my back x

Yes just request a section. It's that simple.