Slightly random, but....

[TrixieVix]

Have just found out DH's ex-DP is now a midwife at our local hospital. She's been a real psycho in the time DH and I have been together and have even had to have to call the police to stop her harassing us in the past.

My worry now is that when we decide to expand our family, what do I do about labour? I certainly wouldn't feel comfortable about her being involved with my labour, and I suppose she'd have to declare an interest and may not be allowed to be involved from an ethical point of view anyway, but it worries me to think that she could be anywhere near me or my future babies, especially at such a vulnerable time.

Am I overreacting, or would others feel the same?

I'm just resigning myself to a home birth next time, although my DS was 9lb 3oz, and I worry I wouldn't be able to cope with a bigger baby and no pain relief next time!!

Sorry for the slightly long and bizarre post...

That's not weird at all. You have every right to refuse to be treated by the woman and no-one should give you a hard time about it. Chances are you will not be in labour on her shift and she'd move heaven and earth to avoid you anyway.

However perhaps you have more choices that you think. Is there only one local hospital - is there a midwife unit or another place you could go?

You are not over-reacting at all.

I would ask my GP how to politely inform the hosp that i don't want to be seen by a particular person. If the GP asks why, tell them.

Thanks for your replies - makes me feel happier I'm not overreacting - DH just doesn't get it!!

The hospital is the only place to give birth where we are - the next nearest hospital is either Nottingham or Boston, both a good hour away, so the only other option I have is a HB...

Sit DH down and say to him 'if you were having a vasectomy, would you be happy to be operated on by my jealous ex-boyfriend who had stalked me'?

At the end of the day you have a say (always) on who can attend you and you don't have to worry about it. If you make it clear in advance you don't want to see this woman at all, she will steer clear as it would be a disciplinary offence probably for her to talk to you when you've clearly stated your wishes and furthermore a physical assault for her to touch you. You are vulnerable enough when you have a baby shooting out of your fanjo without having to worry about ex-GFs of your DH!

You ar not aver reacting at all. You have every right to request she doesn't deal with you. It's awful to think you should be forced into having a home birth to avoid her.
MY midwife told me if I didn't like the miswife who was assisting me in labour, I should ask for someone else, but obviously you don't want to get to that point!

Could you have it written on the front of your notes that you didn't want to be treated my her? Ask your midwife at your next apt.

Hopfully everything will go well for you,a dn you will be out of hostpital quickly. Good luck.