3rd degree tear recovery

[SunshineIndoors123]

Two weeks ago I had a really traumatic forceps birth, episiotomy, 3rd degree tear and post partum haemorrhage. I'm really struggling with the recovery. The episiotomy is a little sore still, and feels irritated if I do a lot. I was quite constipated post birth, and dutifully took the lactulose but then I didn't make it to the toilet in time. This distressed me a lot. I've stopped the lactulose and been trying to do pelvic floor exercises to avoid this happening again, but I think I've over done them/doing them wrong as I feel like I tense my vulva as part of it, and now that hurts too. Since I stopped taking the lactulose, I've been a bit constipated again and strained a little more than I probably should have last night. I'm now quite sore, and I have a swollen feeling in my bottom (which I had before the straining, tbh) which I've convinced myself is a rectal prolapse, though I can't see anything when I look other than piles, which I'm putting cream on. Don't know if the swollen feeling might be internal piles?

I'm terrified my stitches are coming undone. I rang maternity triage and they said everything sounds normal, and just to rest. My community midwife is coming out to me next week, so they said get her to check my stitches. (They said if I'm still worrying before then to ring back and they'll check me over). I'm just so scared and so worried, I really thought I'd feel back to normal by now and I really don't. I'm so uncomfortable, not in too much pain, just uncomfortable and nothing feels right. I cry all the time. I just want to feel back to normal. Anyone experienced anything similar/had a 3rd degree tear have any advice or reassurance? Thanks

Sounds how I was ...it's only two weeks ago your body went through this ....but if you want checking sooner then get checked out sooner ...

I recognise a lot of this from my own experience and I really sympathise! I had a 3b tear and PPH 3 years ago and the first several weeks weren't great tbh. Have you been referred to a woman's health physio? I was and saw her at about 6 weeks pp I think and she helped with symptoms and pelvic floor exercises.

I never once looked at my stitches, I was too scared. I remember being convinced I'd torn them open on a few occasions but I hadn't, it was fine and has actually healed very well now and I don't feel any different down there. You'll get there I'm sure, but it takes a good few weeks/months to go back to completely normal!

The swollen feeling in your bottom could well be piles, I had horrendous ones!

@Lulu1919 I'm tempted to get checked sooner but the thought of leaving the house feeling as I do is so daunting

@snowflake29 I've not been referred for physio but I've arranged to see a private one in a few weeks, so I'll be 4 weeks post birth. It took a lot to look at the stitches tbh but it actually doesn't look too different (horrendous, scary piles aside) I can see the episiotomy and the tear but it looks pretty normal. Can you remember how many weeks it was until you started feeling any improvement at all?

I would definitely restart the lactulose. At still only 2 weeks pp you don’t want to be straining at all.

Are you on iron tablets after your pph? They can make you constipated.

Do you have an appointment with a physiotherapist yet? I wouldn’t do any pelvic floor exercises until you’ve seen the physio. Mine was 12 years ago now but I remember the pain and dragging feeling well. I saw a physio at 10 weeks and she literally had me stop everything. So no pelvic floor, no gym, no walking anywhere longer than 15 minutes, no hoovering. I went back at 14 weeks and those 4 weeks of rest made all the difference to my recovery and was able to be given exercises by physio for a few months.

Gosh you had a 3rd degree tear only two weeks ago?? Sorry to tell you this but there is no way you'd be back to normal by now and you still have a way to go. 4 weeks post partum after my 3rd degree tear I still couldn't walk or stand longer than 10 minutes. I was still needing physio over a year later. You need to be much kinder to yourself and rest a lot, keep on top of pain relief and follow up with your midwife /GP, asking for referrals to physio etc if you think you need them, as you are doing. I honestly found c section recovery easier than my 3rd degree tear and pph.

This was very similar to my experience op, including the distressing lactulose incident! After initial reluctance I found the over the counter pessaries a godsend, have a look at them - don't strain.

Have you downloaded the Squeezy app? It's very good.

I started to feel a bit better by about 3 weeks in but it was 3-6 months before I felt anywhere near normal, sorry if that's not what you want to hear but give yourself time.

@SunshineIndoors123 I can't remember exactly but it was probably 7 or 8 weeks before I felt "healed" on the surface. But to this day there's an area of tenderness and if I do a lot of physical activity I get an ache where the episiotomy was.

Honestly go very easy on yourself, what you've been through is a serious and significant injury and it'll take a long time for all the layers to knit back together.

I was referred as standard where I live (UK but not England) to physio and also had a gynaecologist review at 10 weeks postpartum

My eldest was born under very similar circumstances.
The test took time to heal and until it did heal it was so uncomfortable. Looking back o definitely pushed myself too much.
I remember going back to the gym at about 10 weeks pp and the wound was still soar then, but i was in the other side of it by then.

Just give yourself some time. It won't always be like this even though I appreciate now it will feel like it will!
You will get better if you look after yourself ♥️

@TotheletterofthelawTHELETTER I stopped taking the iron as well. I have a physio appointment coming up in a few weeks. OK, I'll lay off the pelvic floor exercises until I see her.

@Mymoneydontjigglejiggle thanks, I don't know if I was told or if I cant remember if they told me how long it would take to recover. I'll definitely make an effort to rest more, I've probably been trying to push myself too much going for walks etc.

@BreakfastGold Thanks, it actually makes me feel a bit better that it takes a lot longer than a few weeks to recover as I was beginning to think there was something abnormally wrong with me. Triage said today most of the healing is done in the first 2 weeks, and when I was on the post natal ward for a few nights I felt like such an inconvenience needing help with anything that I thought I must be particularly terrible at coping.

@snowflake29 thanks, I'll start taking it a bit easier, and start to adjust my mindset to this being a longer haul thing than I initially expected

@watermelonlipbalm thanks. I think that's what I keep getting so upset about, the feeling that I'm just not getting better and will never feel normal again

@SunshineIndoors123 you will, I promise you it will get better.
Little by little it'll just stop hurting as much and then You'll be able to stop thinking about it so much!

I had s3rd degree tear on one and 2nd on other. Sitting on a doughnut pillow really helped. Took ages and ages to heal properly. Ages

It absolutely does get better. This is very early stages.
I know how you feel though, I just kept thinking “I only had a baby, women do it every day” and that I had to just get on with it.
It’s perfectly acceptable to take as long as you need

OP I had the exact same traumatic birth as you describe. At about 2.5 weeks I was still in agony so went to GP for a check up. They told me I had an infection and put me on antibiotics. It was honestly about 5 weeks before I felt confident to wipe after a wee and not just dab, at least 6 weeks before I could walk normally and was pain free. Be patient, the healing process from all of that takes time, but don't be afraid to ask a GP to have a look and check how the healings going, I'm glad I went when I did (and I did not have the guts to look for myself!). Hope all goes well for you, congratulations too!

Also - had the same issue with not making it to the toilet - was mortified that my OH had to help me clean up the carpet! But I promise you, a few years on we look back and laugh, despite how mortified I was at the time!

The iron is probably important- if you are anemic then you are more prone to bleeding and clotting slower if there is a cut/stitches break a little.
low iron can also cause being very emotional and feeling low.

A quicker way to increase iron is an iron infusion. Might be worth asking for/getting privately rather than taking the udon Tablets if they are making you constipated

I had exactly the same birth experience and it was horrible! A lot of it is foggy as the iron tablets took so long to take effect however arnica gel everytime I went to the bathroom worked wonders though if you do try it then brace yourself as it takes your breath away

You’ve had some good replies. My situation was like yours though nearly 20yrs ago now so I cant remember details but I fo remember feeling horrified and so worried. It does take time but do keep on asking your GP if you’re not sure, don’t be embarrassed to ask. Also, keep talking about it, sounds like you had a traumatic birth so be kind to yourself emotionally too and reach out for help if its getting to you x

I am five weeks postpartum after a forceps birth with episiotomy and second degree tear. I posted something similar at 2 weeks worrying that I'd never feel normal. Not quite the same experience as you, no haemorrhage and I haven't had the same bowel issues but I was in a lot of pain and discomfort at that stage - taking painkillers round the clock and unable to walk more than ten minutes, the cut was visibly open and I never thought it would heal, etc.

Fast forward to today and although I'm not fully recovered (the area is still tender, especially to touch) the wound has fused together nicely, no open gaps any more, I'm no longer taking any painkillers and I comfortably went for a 30 minute walk today. Obviously some people take a lot longer to feel normal but I know I spent hours desperately searching for positive recovery stories amidst all the horror stories so just sharing in case it reassures you.

For healing, I kept things really simple, just lots of ibuprofen and paracetamol, frozen maternity pads for relief and showers twice a day to keep it clean. I didn't use any essential oils or other things that are sometimes recommended and I built up my walks really slowly. My sympathies to you, it's a tough recovery but it does get better!

Thank you so much everyone for all your replies. I feel much more reassured that what I'm feeling is normal, even if it isn't nice. I've taken it easy today and feel so much better for it. I'll take all your advice on board and definitely make sure I rest enough, and work on adjusting my expectations around the time it'll take me to heal and feel normal again.

@SunshineIndoors123 your experience does sound very traumatic

I too have felt the way you do so I'm happy to talk if you need any support

I had a forceps delivery 2.5 weeks ago, lost 2l of blood and have felt awful. I'm getting there but my iron levels were really low and needed 2 blood transfusions

I have been resting where I can but I have felt
So miserable and sad and didn't have this with my 1st so I feel so rubbish and my guilt for not being able to do things with my 10yr old daughter on summer holidays

I often feel like when will I feel like myself again and feel low

But the advice you have received on here is good and I've taken some of it onboard also

X

@strawberrysummer19 I'm sorry you've had such a bad time too. My iron was low too after my haemorrhage, but I didn't need transfusions just iron tablets.

I've been resting more the last few days, and I think I feel a little bit better for it, but I can sympathise with the feeling sad and miserable, particularly that we can't get out and about and enjoy the summer. This is my first baby so I have nothing to compare it to.

Every time I feel sad and low, I'm trying to tell myself every day is a day closer to feeling back to normal again. Trying to listen to the good advice here and accept it'll be a longer recovery than I was anticipating. X

@SunshineIndoors123 yes I'm exactly the same as you and feel same in that respect. It's nice to know it's a normal feeling to have considering x

Huge sympathies and solidarity OP 💐💐💐 I had forceps, episiotomy and 3C tear 7 years ago. I had a year of women’s physio afterwards which helped. I had 2 c sections after which were a walk in the park. You may have to advocate for yourself and push for support during this recovery time but do, there is help out there you just may have to ask for it!

@MassiveSalad22 thanks, it helps so much to know other people have experienced similar. I can't imagine having another baby after all this to be honest, but I think if I ever do I'll definitely request a c-section. I never want to go through this again.