Traumatic birth, considering private c-section

[FleurD]

I had a traumatic birth 4 years ago which left me with an injury that I’ve really only just about recovered from. I’m desperate for baby number 2 but I’m absolutely terrified after what I went through. Hospital have said i can have planned c-section, but a lot of my trauma comes from staff ignoring me and telling me I was fine, when I wasn’t. I have had counselling but I still don’t feel like I can get pregnant yet.
I was considering saving up to get a private c-section, would love to hear any experiences on how it was and if it really makes a difference?
thanks ☺️

From what I know about private health care, it’s best avoided when it comes to having babies. Private maternity hospitals send a lot of patients to the NHS anyway as they don’t have the standard of emergency resources that NHS hospitals do.

Honestly, I had a traumatic first birth, it's been nearly 4 years and I still get flashbacks and intrusive thoughts etc
But, we made a decision that we wouldn't let that stop us from having more babies, I wanted all my children to be close together and we went through with that despite the trauma. There's 18m between DD1 and DD2 and I'm pregnant with DS1 so will have 3 under 4 😂
I found doing a birth debrief really helpful, it showed me that the birth wasn't 'my' fault and hearing the hospital admit their failings really helped.
I was actually booked in for an elcs for DD2 at my request due to the trauma, but went into the labour the morning of the section, arrived at the hospital at 9am for my section appointment contracting and 2cm dilated, consultant encouraged me to labour until it was my turn on the section list then we'd discuss what I wanted to do .... When he came back at 11.30am I was holding DD2 after a 'lovely' pool birth. Just shows how different things can be x

I would sooner have a birth debrief with your hospital and possibly trauma counselling, and then use the money to pay for a doula or private midwife to act as your advocate in whatever type of birth you choose to have.

Just commented on another post, maybe wouldn’t advise watching it if you haven’t already but I watched this is going to hurt and it was so fascinating. It kind of shows though that private hospitals look like a fancy hotel and yet if it comes down to an emergency they’re not at all equipped and don’t have the staff or blood back ups etc that the nhs have. I had an elective purely for maternal choice through the nhs and as long as you’re firm that that’s what you want it was actually great in my case, couldn’t fault it in the slightest. Actually had two anaesthetists in mine instead of one, there were so many staff, blood on standby, loads of staff, plenty of help through the night, they came whenever I pressed the buzzer and they even numbed my hand for me before the cannula because I’m scared of pain 🤣 I’d go NHS but just have a letter written with your reasons and have a look at your hospital on birth rights first to see how it rates

Hi all, thanks so much for taking the time to reply to my post 🥰
there’s some really interesting points you make and overall it seems that private probably isn’t the perfect solution.
Really interested in the idea of spending the money on a private midwife or doula instead.
I’ve had my birth debrief and the hospital have written me a letter stating I can have a planned c-section, so 🤞🏼I’d have what I need to go for it.
It’s just getting my head around doing it all over again!

If something goes wrong in a private hospital then you're up shit creek without a paddle...until they manage to get you back to an NHS hospital. If it goes well, you'll have a lovely experience.

Also I had a ELCS (after having a home birth planned but then went way overdue, got pre eclampsia and felt it was a better option for me than induction) and it was lovely. We spent the morning sitting in a room on the labour ward chatting, wandered down the hallway at half 1 and DS was born at 2pm, less than 5 minutes after they opened me up. We had our own playlist on, the whole room was chatty and light hearted and DS was placed on my chest immediately and stayed there for half an hour before going to DP for a cuddle while they moved me over to the bed.

It was so calm, relaxed and peaceful.

some of these responses are unfair- many private hospitals are connected to NHS hospitals so the facilities for emergencies are just fine. Just make sure you ask this question.

Unfortunately they don’t usually look like fancy hotels. They’re just regular hospital rooms.

My experience was fantastic, very calm and great quality of care & aftercare- however I’ve never had an NHS ELCS, so I don’t have anything to compare it to.

I had a traumatic first birth it was absolutely horrible.

Second birth I was so scared, but I choose a different local hospital in our city (is this an option for you ? ) and had a completely different mind set. I went in feeling stronger as I knew what would happen and determined to be more confident and in control. It was honestly a perfect labour.

I had my birth ruined by local hospital. This time I’m going nhs for induction and birth then use the private room and midwife for £800 in London. You can go anywhere in the country and choose . I feel best of both worlds

I'd agree that you could look in to the private facilities in NHS hospitals. Though I've just had a friend have a completely different experience with her second birth than her first, standard NHS birth both times.

I wish I'd had a doula or birth partner I trusted at ds's birth despite it being straightforward. I did meet with one doula but I thought she was a bit extreme and wouldn't have trusted her to look after my cat. An independent midwife might be a lot better if they had good relationships with the unit you're going to. Hope you get a straightforward and healing experience.