Hi tiredandnowty,
Its a pity that you have lost confidence in the m/ws as its very very easy to mistake a breech for a head on palpation, and even on VEs, in our unit it is not uncommon, with the culprits being everyone from the consultants to the midwives! Even done it myself! This is the same in every hospital / and has happened to every midwife. Doesnt make them bad midwives/doctors though.
As for the VBAC, well you will get lots of different opinions here, and you have to decide what is best for you.
If you had a c/s for a breech, your chances of a successful VBAC are very good, as you did not get stuck in labour etc, rather you never really laboured, so you should labour like a first time mum. As for being monitored etc, yes, they will want to do CFM, but your unit may have a wireless monitor, which will give you the mobility that you need to stay active, but even if they dont, you can still walk around on the end of the wires, or if you state that you want intermittent monitoring, you will definately be mobile. With most scar ruptures, you will get a warning of pain in the scar, but not all, but it really is quite rare.
Sorry to hear about DD, but its really unlikely that anything similar will happen this time, so try not to be put off by that.
If you wanted my opinion, I would advise you to have a c/s booked at 40+10 weeks, and if you go into spontaneous labour go for the VBAC, if not, have the c/s, as you cant be easily induced with a prev c/s, without risking your scar.