3rd degree tear post partum poo

[Mamabear04]

I'm 3 days post partum and during the birthnlpst 1.5L of blood and suffered a 3rd degree tear. I was taken into surgery immediately to get stitched up and lost another 0.5L of blood. I seemed to be healing quite well and only spent 1 night I hospital and managed to pee pretty quickly and without too much pain etc but OMG girls I just did my first post partum poo this morning. It started off OK but by the end it honestly felt so swollen and has been all day. I looked in the mirror for a brief second but then couldn't do anymore. I don't know what is supposed to look normal. His evening I thought I needed another poo and went to ths toilet thinking that every time it would get a little easier but I didn't do anything and it honestly felt like I was going to give birth. It feels so swollen and I'm so upset and don't know what to do. I saw my midwife yesterday and she checked my bum and said it was looking good and not even that swollen but today just feels like I have an entirely different asshole. My midwife is coming again tomorrow. I'm so embarrassed and so sore and uncomfortable. What should I do?

I had the same (third degree tear, blood loss etc) and you've done loads better than me - I ended up back in hospital at day 7 still having not been.

Doctor had to manually pull the poo out then give me an enema. So don't be embarrassed - you could have had that!!

Talk to your midwife tomorrow just to have her check your bum / stitches etc. it's likely to be very sensitive and feel swollen based on what it's all been through but a trained pair of eyes who have seen it lots before will be able to reassure you or let you know if it needs looking at.

Additionally are you taking anything like lactulose / stool softener? Part of my problem was I was sent home with morphine and iron but not told they'd clog me up. Once I'd been back in they put me on a boat load of softener and that helped a lot.

Whatever you do don't be put off asking for help with it out of some sort of embarrassment. They really have seen it all before!

Yes, they should have sent you home with stool softener and glycerine suppositories. Are you having warm salt baths and have they given you anything to apply topically to reduce the pain and swelling? You poor thing, it is miserable. Have you got a doughnut cushion to sit on?

@WingingIt101 thank you so much for your reply you sweet angel. Just hearing someone else who's been through it makes me feel a little emotionally better. They gave me lactalose (2x 15ml a day) but I've also been taking an iron tablet, dihydracodine and antibiotics. I've only taken the dihydracodine once last night and once tonight because of the pain (I've been substituting with ibuprofen and of course Paracetamol) but think I'll stop the iron tablet tomorrow. I've been eating really healthy etc but OMG when will it feel remotely normal?!

The painkillers will make you constipated. Keep on with the lactulose and loads of water. Do not eat bran or weetabix whatever you do. Prunes and other stewed fruit will help. Salad is good and small amounts of porridge.

I had a 3rd degree tear and episiotomy in my first labour.

Glycerine suppositories are the best and only thing that worked for me. Lactulose does absolutely nothing but these really help, I've always had them in the house post birth with my others just in case.

I was initially told to have a small amount of lactulose and then once I had my problems they upped it loads!

Chat with your MW today for sure. There is loads of non-medicine stuff you can do to keep comfy and they can check and sort any medical bits for you

@Mamabear04 how did you get on with your midwife? Hoping you're feeling more comfortable now and if needed they got you some drugs to help!

@WingingIt101 that's for checking back with me! Midwife checked me over and said everything looked ok. She suggested upping the lactulose dose which I did and then poo'd 6 times in 24 hours!!!! Honestly the second poo was much harder than the first but now things are starting to feel more normal. Pouring water on while going is a life saver! I also now understand the scene in the Sopranos where the guy dies on the toilet 😂😭
Turns out as well that I have a tear in the tube of my bum which is why I needed surgery. I'm so nervous because now that it's easier to poo, when I need I have to go immediately. It's really hard to hold (I'm not even sure if I am holding it). My midwife said I need to do my pelvic floor and have an appointment to check back in 3 months. Feeling quite emotional from it all. Obviously I was too drugged up at the hospital to realise what happened...

@Mamabear04 I suffered a 3rd degree tear 4 years ago, during my first delivery.

Everyone has gave you great advice already, all I want to say is please don't worry! I remember the fear and nerves, and crying on the toilet wondering if this was just how my life was now 😩 but honestly this is such early days for you in your recovery, as the days/weeks pass, and you strengthen those muscles, you will see improvements. I took lactulose 3x daily for weeks after my delivery, and drank loads of water, and eventually the discomfort and worry stops. Just take it each day at a time.

Everything to do with parenting is a phase, and 'this too shall pass.'

@FindingANewLifePlan thank you so much. That really helped me to feel better 💕

I had a 3rd degree tear (3b) five years ago (tomorrow!).
keep up with the lactulose and painkillers. Also do keep on with the iron tablets, you’ve lost a fairly significant amount of blood and anemia will make you feel awful.
Dont worry too much about pelvic floor exercises right this minute, let the swelling reduce first. In a week or so give them a try, just once a day to start and then build up if you can.
Make sure to go to your follow up appointment, or at your 6week check with the GP ask for a referral to a womens health physio. They can check you can do the exercises properly and help if not. Mine recommended a device called a neen educator which helps check you’re squeezing properly and gives you some visual feedback.

Things will get better. I remember having to go to the loo immediately when I felt the urge for both wee and poo, and now I can go on a bouncy castle with no issues.

Hi OP, I had a 3rd degree tear 18 months ago. My advice to you is just try and take it easy - you’ve had a serious injury in which you’ve effectively ripped muscle. Don’t try and overdo it on pelvic floor exercises because that’s what I did and ended up with a slight prolapse!
keep on top of the laxatives and don’t be scared to use the loo as holding it will make it worse! I had a bit of incontinence for a while after but I’m 100% back to normal now (both ends) congrats on your baby!

@SBAM thanks for the suggestion of asking for a referral to a women's health physio. I am 100% going to do this. I am so encouraged to hear you can jump on bouncy castles again! I hope I can get to this stage too.

@Movealong14 do you have any advice on how much/often to do the pelvic floor exercises? I saw a physio while still in the hospital and she said x5 Short squeezes every time you lift your baby but I've been doing them maybe 5 times a day and that feels like enough right now. I'm just wondering when to start increasing them because I am so anxious to get things going. Thanks for telling me to slow down!

Ahh I missed your update.

I'm glad your midwife was able to help. I had the same thing - went from not going at all and then ended up sat on flippin puppy pads for fear of destroying our sofa.

I actually ended up with some post natal ptsd, sobbing to my midwife that I had the same toileting needs as my two week old!

The help is out there - and as someone else has already said get referred to womens health physio. If the wait feels too long and you can afford it mummy mot or private specialists are well worth it!

One day at a time. You'll slowly be able to reduce the lactulose and every time it'll give you a bit more confidence x

Buy some stool softeners and keep taking for as long as necessary. I remember the feeling it was like passing shards of glass. The painkillers were making my stools solid. So try to stop them as soon as you can!!

I had a very fast birth with my Dd and ended up tearing, enormous piles and an episiotomy as well. It was was too painful to poo as well. I got given the glycerin suppository.

My claim to fame is that I got a doctors visit that we never requested. The midwife checking me on my return home told the doctor I had the biggest/worst piles she’d ever seen. Still don’t know if the doctor came to see me out of concern or professional interest!

Sorry haven't read if anyone has mentioned this tip yet:

Hold a sanitary pad gently with your hand against your vulva, to just before the anus; pressing a little while having the poo. I thought I'd tear up again and this made me so much more comfortable! Also rinse with warm water and tap instead of wiping.

It's so traumatic! No one talks about these things.

@WingingIt101 I think I've had a few moments this week where I've felt like this. It's amazing how it takes a while to process. Sounds like you've done incredibly well to get through it 💪

@Quitelikeit I would agree with the painkillers but there has been a few times I've forgotten to take them during the night and I wake up feeling so swollen and like my pelvis is about to crack in two! Shards of glass is a very accurate description 😫

@sleepymum50 poor you!!! Sounds like you had it really hard. I hope the drs visit was a comfort rather than anything else.

@Kione I know right?! Why does no one talk about this?!!! Thanks for the tip and for the description of how to do it! Someone told me to do this and I tried but then was like "press where?!!! How does the poo come out?!!" 😂😭

Oh god, I know exactly what you’re going through. Third degree tear and episiotomy after an emergency theatre delivery. I was miserable for 7 weeks with the pain and then one morning I woke up and literally could no longer feel my butthole every waking second (if you know what I mean) It does get better, I’m completely back to normal now, but during those 7 weeks, no one could have convinced me I’d ever feel normal again.

It took me 5 days to have a bowel movement, I was in so much pain and looked 9 months pregnant again with the bloating. I was practically downing the lactulose but it wasn’t doing much. My mother in law came over with a bag of cherries and a very hot curry, she’d clearly had enough of my whining 😂 Got things moving anyway!

Please, please do your pelvic floor exercises, they really help. PP suggest of holding a sanitary towel against you helps so much too, especially if it’s nice and damp with cold water.

Hope you’re feeling better by now! The things we put our bodies through eh 🙈

@Mamabear04 whilst you’re still swollen I’d take it much easier than you are doing. I used to do the squeezes everytime I was feeding baby, they’re easier to do sat or lay down to start with whilst things are still healing. It’s still such a recent injury so it will take a while to get better.

I had exactly the same. all the advise so far is good but also be aware that low iron makes your immune system really crap. I had mastitis about 6 times and several utis in the first 6 months and it was only when they did a blood test that they realised I was still deficient in iron. This was after a blood transfusion and 2 courses of iron tablets.