Homebirth Stories

[TheHopefulMum]

DH and I are expecting DC3 in September, both our previous DC's were born in a birthing center with no pain relief and no need for doctors / aftercare.

I feel that having the 2 older DC's now, they will be 9 and 7, I would like to have DC3 at home, however DH is taking quite a bit of persuasion.

So far this pregnancy is straight forward and no issues, hopefully it stays that way and on that basis I'd really like a homebirth. Ideally I'd have a water birth and one of my main reasons for wanting a homebirth is I just feel I'd be more relaxed in my own home and I'd like us as a family to experience our new arrival without anyone else even knowing I'm in labour.

Please tell me your successful homebirth stories to help me try and reduce DH's anxieties about it.

Mine was lovely, second baby, born in under two hours. No pain relief, didn't use the pool as no time.
Bought some dust sheets and cheap cotton flat sheets to go on top. Midwives took it all away with them so no mess.
My husband now says he would always want to do it at home from now on if we were having any more. He was reluctant to start with but as we researched it more he came round to the idea. He felt much more involved and relaxed.
You can look up the statistics for homebirths and they are very reassuring for second / third time mums. www.nice.org.uk/guidance/cg190/chapter/Recommendations#place-of-birth

If you have a dedicated home birth team you usually also have your appts at home and he can speak to the midwives beforehand to ask any questions etc.

I loved both of mine, didn't even need the midwife (thankfully - she was 2 hours late for the second).

In terms of persuading dh. Everything available at a birth centre is available at a home birth if you want/need it. The only exception is maybe distance to hospital. But they can do resus etc. I think the only messy bit was my waters (maybe, bit foggy on the detail) which were caught both times (midwife had a bowl first time, second I got to the toilet), and that could happen at home even if you plan on going in.

My one and so far only birth was a homebirth, and it was absolutely wonderful. I also had a water birth. I felt very calm and safe in my own home, and afterwards I loved climbing into my bed with my new baby, having had a shower in my own bathroom, and having had food from my own kitchen. There's often a lot of scaremongering about homebirths on here, particularly around first births (I know that's not relevant in your case), but I found I actually had a better level of care than some of my friends in a maternity unit or hospital setting as I had 2 midwives with me the whole time - they never left my side, whereas my friends spent a lot of time during labour on their own. This means you are monitored a lot more closely with a homebirth, and therefore if anything goes wrong or even looks vaguely like it's going wrong, they will spot it straight away and act. I've had some friends with horrendous experiences in hospital where things were missed because they weren't looked after very closely, or they just felt a bit abandoned because they were left alone when they wanted a midwife to reassure and be with them. The midwives that stayed with me made me feel so incredibly well supported and cared for. I wouldn't hesitate to have another homebirth and am now a massive advocate of them

The care I had from the midwives during my home birth was just extraordinary - I've never experienced anything else like it. I had absolute confidence that they were there for me, were going nowhere else (well obviously, but you don't always get that in a hospital), and would pick up any problems straight away. And early labour was much more relaxed because I didn't have to think about when to go to hospital. Just went with it, parked DD1 in front of cbeebies for the afternoon while I rested, made the dinner and then called my midwife while DH put DD1 to bed. DD2 was born about two hours later.

@canyoutoleratethis how did you feel about having a home birth for your first baby? I'm desperate for one for my first but do have some niggles in the back of my mind. I'd love to know how you put your mind to rest!

@rocksonrocks to be honest, it was the care I received from the homebirth team during my pregnancy that did it for me - they were so amazing, and made me feel really safe and cared for during my pregnancy and in the run up to the day itself. I was under their team from the 12 week scan onwards, so got to know them throughout my appointments and they were always happy to talk it over with me and give me answers to any question I had. They were also very clear that if I changed my mind at any point during labour, even 5 minutes after they all arrived at my house, it was totally ok and they would take me immediately to hospital without hesitation. So whilst they were obviously massive advocates of homebirths, I never felt like they were 'cult like' about it, but instead genuinely just wanted me to have the best birth for me, whatever that ended up being. I think that was quite important as I wanted to know I always had choices. As it was, I never even thought about leaving my home once labour started, but in making the decision to go down the homebirth route I think it was important to me to know that I wasn't ever pressured. I hope that makes sense? Happy to answer any questions, as I'm genuinely a convert to it (as an aside, I only ever entertained it in the first place as I had DD when various covid rules were in place and I desperately didn't want to labour without my husband with me - it was him not being at the 12 week scan that kind of 'pushed' me to asking to be referred to the homebirth team, and then it just snowballed from there as I researched it and asked questions. Turns out it was by far the best thing to come out of covid and I would definitely be seeking a homebirth again)

Had my second at home. Wonderful experience. It felt like such a secret having the midwives arrive in the night and then leave before dawn! And it was pure magic having my eldest come down and meet the baby in the morning when she woke. If you’re low risk and tick all the boxes I don’t see why not.

Thank you all for your wonderful stories, its really reassuring and I hope will help convince DH.

Mine was lovely, so much attention with just you and the midwives ! All my own space, my own things ... I felt confident moving about and making a mess 😂😂

There’s a show on bbc iplayer atm - Yorkshire midwives - that follows a home birth team in Bradford. I found that really useful to watch as it showed a range of births (from v straightforward to needing hospital transfer). Might be worth watching a few episodes with DH so he can see what it’s like?

My DH wasn’t keen at all but is coming round to the idea.

I had my only at home and if we are lucky enough to have another we would do the same. My DH wasn't keen at all on having a homebirth but he wasn't the one doing the birthing so I stopped trying to persuade him and told him I'd researched thoroughly and made the decision - that's how I wanted to give birth. I had a low risk pregnancy and delivered at home with no problems or pain relief. I actually forgot I could have gas and air but tbh I didn't feel like I needed it.

When our baby was born they had a low Apgar score and needed to be resuscitated. It took a couple of minutes to bring them round but the midwife's are very experienced and have the equipment to hand (from memory the only thing the HB midwives don't have compared to the hospital for resus is a heat lamp). I had a dream early on in my pregnancy that the baby was not responsive when born and looked into stats around this so when it was happening I was surprisingly calm.

In order to make the decision properly, I would advise reading as much as possible about the differences between homebirth and hospital birth with regards to outcomes and access to pain relief, interventions, emergency treatment etc. Read the horror stories as well as the good. You do run more of a risk with homebirth. It is a very small risk - but must be considered. It's been a few years since I did my research so may be miss-remembering or it might have changed but I seem to recall something like one infant dies in the uk every year at a homebirth which could have been prevented in a hospital setting. It's worth familiarising yourself with these types of statistics too.

Also look at how far away you are from hospital should the worst happen.

I had my second at home quite a while ago now !

In terms of persuading your husband mine much preferred the home experience. He was more comfortable, and felt more in control. He had jobs to do like sorting the birthing pool and making tea for the midwives/ making sure they had what they needed. I think they can feel a bit helpless in hospital/ birthing centre.

I guess the only potential issue is if you had to be transferred childcare - are you thinking you’d go alone while husband sorts it? I know it probably isn’t what you want to think about but you need a plan for that.

You do run more of a risk with homebirth.

That isn’t what evidence shows for second births onwards for low risk women.

There are risks of hospital too - infections, arriving too late, generally poorer care.

There is a great home birth Facebook - lots of advice but just be aware some areas are short of midwives so home births keep getting cut. I would really consider it but I’m just 40 and will have to be induced

Just out of interest, do you have any other risk factors as I'm not sure why you say you are you going to be induced just because you are 40? My first was a homebirth and I had her when I was 40. I also went over my due date and all the way up to 41 +4 (my god I was ready to have her at that point!), but midwives were happy as I was low risk in every other way. It was only if I got to 42 weeks they were talking of wanting an induction, which is the same as all women, so there were no worries about my age.

I had a wonderful home water birth with my first baby a few months ago.

I was so relaxed, I breezed through the first 5 hours of contractions in bed with DH snoring next to me, got him to call the midwives when I was having 3 in 10 mins and then the big ones started coming and 3 hours later baby was born!

It was an absolutely transcendental experience, I was so in the zone that I didn't open my eyes from getting in to the pool to picking up my baby. I sat back with him on my chest, opened my eyes and saw the midwives for the first time.

Refused all vaginal exams, just really knew in myself I didn't need or want them so I was completely uninterrupted.

Baby actually flew out like a rocket so I ended up with a big, bad tear and had to go to hospital after but I really, really didn't care and I felt like a celebrity at the hospital as nurses and midwives kept coming in to congratulate 'the home birther' 😂

Can't imagine going in to hospital now I've done it once! If home birth is calling you, GO FOR IT.

My daughter was born at home. First time mum, fairly straightforward pregnancy, around 40 weeks. Waters went at 3am, listened to an audio book and slept whilst I started contracting. Husband got up in the morning, blew up pool. Midwife popped over to see me, was about to go when things ramped up a notch, I got in the pool and pushed out my baby. Best feeling ever. Placenta followed a while later. Had a small tear sutured on my living room floor. It was amazing to be in our own space, snuggle up in on our own sofa afterwards. My husband had a celebratory beer (I didn’t feel like eating!).

This. And just to keep it real my birth went really well but after about 6 hours my baby got stuck back to back and I was stuck in active labour for 16 hours. I stayed on my birthing ball and he spun back and labour continued again like normal. Delivery itself was straightforward. I loved showering in my own bathroom and having my own bed. There was no mess at all (I used plastic sheets), and although at times I thought I wish I could have an epidural, in retrospect I'm so glad I didn't (I still could have but thought to just try and stay home as long as I can). The midwife told me in hospital I most likely would have had a c section as they wouldn't have waited as long as she did. I also felt calmer and think he only turned because I wasn't under stress like I would be in the hospital.

If I could I would definitely have another home birth and this time tell myself it might not be all rainbows and butterflies and can have complications like I did but it's still better than delivering in a hospital I feel. I had 2 senior midwives and 2 student midwives with me the entire time in another room if needed.