Natural birth or planned section?

[rainbowflump]

I have one DD who is 2 and have just found out I'm expecting my second.
When I had DD I had a bad tear (3b) and was whisked away to surgery for 2 hours as soon as I'd given birth so they could repair the damage. The surgeon who stitched me told me at the time that I would likely need to have a section next time around because of the high risk of it happening again and causing more permanent damage. However before being discharged I spoke with a doctor who told me there was only a small risk of it happening again and so she wouldn't completely write off trying to do it naturally again.
The recovery after DDs birth was very hard and I found it quite traumatic with flashbacks for the first few months of her life, I'm terrified of it happening the same way again but I'm not sure the c section recovery would be any better.
Has anyone been in this situation before? What did you do?

I've had different types of birth. First was long labour and EMCS. Recovery was a doddle.

My second birth was a vbac and I got torn with forceps. Long recovery including prolapse.

I had a planned c section with the 3rd. You'll find a lot of people coming on to say that their elective section was like some kind of day spa. That wasn't my experience and the recovery was grim compared to my first c section. However I turned a corner at 3 weeks PP and 4 months later feel healed.

I'm glad I bypassed labour and got the baby out with minimal fuss. I would probably do it again. It wasn't much fun but it was efficient.

Thanks for sharing your experience, I think if it was guaranteed that a natural birth wouldn't leave any lasting issues then I wouldn't hesitate but I suppose every birth is so different regardless to your last one so you really never know.

My first delivery also ended with a severe tear. Recovery was brutal. Second delivery needed a large episiotomy on the opposite side. Also brutal.
Third delivery was an ELCS because both sides were damaged and unlikely to stretch. All parties agreed that was the best option. As it turned out I needed a larger than average incision & lost a bit of blood so it wasn’t entirely straight forward. Recovery was a bit harder than usual & I couldn’t walk across the room for over a week but nonetheless it was far far better than the agony of a vaginal wound. I could at least find a comfortable position & not have to wee on my wound!

Your team can examine your scar & see how well it’s healed. An ultrasound will look at the deeper layers too. If it has healed well there are ways to prevent tearing again & lots of women go on to have simple subsequent deliveries.

congrats by the way!

Thankyou that's really helpful, I will speak to my midwife and go from there.

I wouldn't attempt a vaginal birth in your circumstances. The risk of long term injuries sounds higher than normal for you. With a planned c section, the risks and likely recovery is known and can be planned for.

I had an EMCS and i found the recovery was ok - mine was complicated by having to go up and down to the NICU for 8 weeks or so so i didn't have a chance to rest but i think even though mine was a traumatic one, the physical recovery was better than i expected.

Do your own reading about vaginal vs elcs and decide what risks you're happy to take. For me the mental impact of what happened was far more damaging than the physical. The doctors pushed me into a vaginal birth and when it went wrong it was very hard for me to get over because id wanted an elcs from the start but they refused. i ended up with ptsd. So decide what you want, listen to their advice but ultimately it's your body and your choice, whichever way you decide to try. You can ask your midwife to be referred to a consultant to talk about your options but be aware they might try and push you in one direction or the other which is why your own research is vital.