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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Episiotomy

30 replies

CurryandSnuggle · 10/06/2022 08:46

I am feeling really sad to the point of tears because I just want to be able to enjoy breastfeeding my baby but I can hardly sit because of my episiotomy. Everytime I sit or move to a seated position it feels like my stitches are pulling and it makes me yelp out loud. DD is clusterfeeding and I’m having to get DH to get her out of the Moses for me every feed as I’m so immobile. It hurts to walk as I feel so much discomfort but also there’s a swollen lump right near the entrance of my vagina so it feels like there’s something there like a tampon not inserted properly. I don’t know if this swollen bit is normal but it looks horrid and I’m so worried my vulva is going to look horrible forever and I won’t enjoy sex anymore in the future.

OP posts:
Original poster
CurryandSnuggle · 10/06/2022 08:46

I am keeping on top of my paracetamol and ibuprofen, and I have tried cold pads.

OP posts:
MissLC · 10/06/2022 08:49

Maybe speak to the midwife or gp?
I had an episiotomy and although in certain positions it was a tiny bit uncomfortable and felt as if the stitches were stretching, it wasn't bad for me at all. I could certainly sit, stand, walk, pick up baby and breastfeed comfortably.
Hope it improves for you soon

Notmytiep · 10/06/2022 08:56

How long ago did you give birth OP? I have my horror stories about my own episiotomy so I feel your pain.

Original poster
CurryandSnuggle · 10/06/2022 09:28

@Notmytiep It was on Sunday. I know it’s still quite recent, I’m just so worried about it and it’s upsetting because I love feeding my baby but it’s so difficult getting comfortable to do so. 😫

OP posts:
Original poster
CurryandSnuggle · 10/06/2022 09:29

@Notmytiep did things get better for you? Did you need any additional treatment? Xx

OP posts:
PurpleBettina · 10/06/2022 09:40

You poor thing! Do you have a donut cushion? I was only able to sit in chairs if I sat on a travel neck pillow - I think not having anything directly touching the stitches helped...also the sprays did help me a bit. I do sympathise, I felt so sore and miserable, but after about 2 weeks it was honestly fine 😔but do ask a midwife/gp if you think it's really bad!

Notmytiep · 10/06/2022 09:47

CurryandSnuggle · 10/06/2022 09:29

@Notmytiep did things get better for you? Did you need any additional treatment? Xx

Don''t wanna scare you too much because everyone's healing is different. Mine just wasn't as straight forward.

Its quite early as you said and it will take sometime to get back to normal, fingers crossed you wont need additional treatment.

I 2nd the donut cushion - it helps. Squirty bottle for when you wee, it can sting really bad. I use to wee standing up.

I was given some codeine when i was discharged from the hospital, have they not given you any? It gives you great relief for a couple of hours!

TokyoSushi · 10/06/2022 09:53

Ah OP, it was 11 tears ago now but I had an episiotomy, honestly it's hideous and the recovery was worse than my c-section! So sadly what you're feeling is probably pretty normal. If you haven't already, get a rubber ring to sit on today, that will help. It will get better!

TokyoSushi · 10/06/2022 09:54

Years!

PissedOffNeighbour22 · 10/06/2022 09:56

I sat lopsided for weeks after mine. My DP bought me a donut cushion but it was still too painful. The only way I could sit down was to lean to one side and prop myself against a cushion.
My stitches burst and I was told by a midwife not to be so stupid as they absolutely couldn't burst. Hospital later confirmed they had but they don't re-stitch. I was warned that I'd likely need surgery to look normal again and it could cause difficulties and looked a mess. I was in lots of pain and thought it would never end.

It took a few weeks but suddenly the pain eased and I could sit normally. I also healed normally and didn't need any further intervention.

Mindymomo · 10/06/2022 10:04

Have you had a health visitor/nurse come and check on you since you came out. I had over an hour of stitching, several years ago, and had mine checked every other day. It was bad for about 2 weeks, but health visitor assured me it was getting better each time. I did get relief from baths and instead of wiping after doing a wee, I would shower down there and dry with hairdryer. I did put off my check up at 6/8 weeks as I didn’t think I would be able to have examination, but DH and I managed to have careful sex at around 10 weeks, so I knew then that it had healed ok.

Loulou1712 · 10/06/2022 19:33

Definitely get your midwife to check you out, incase there's an infection etc
Have you tried Side lying to nurse? I found that much more comfortable x

Ihaveoflate · 10/06/2022 19:40

The best thing you can sit on is a valley cushion. You can hire them (I did for three weeks). Also, don't be afraid of asking your GP for stronger pain killers. I was prescribed dihydrocodeine by the hospital because of the pain (I developed a haematoma behind the stitches).

After my episiotomy, I couldn't sit without pain for several weeks. It took several months for things to feel anywhere near 'normal'. I still feel quite angry that women are persuaded not to have c sections but are given episiotomies routinely without any information about aftercare and recovery.

Original poster
CurryandSnuggle · 10/06/2022 19:46

@Ihaveoflate I agree, I feel I’ve been missold a vaginal birth as a safer and quicker recovery.

OP posts:
Original poster
CurryandSnuggle · 10/06/2022 19:47

@Loulou1712 I tried side lying but I really struggled to get her in the right position and couldn’t get her to latch as a result.

OP posts:
2MinuteRice · 10/06/2022 19:55

Mine was years ago OP but it wasn't as bad as yours sounds.

I echo posters who say to ask the HV to check your stitches. I was mortified asking mine but it felt better knowing I was healing properly.

If your HV isn't helpful then go and see the GP. If your baby was poorly you would make sure she was ok, you are just as important and you need to be ok.

I was uncomfortable and had sharp shocks of pain if I didn't sit down carefully but I could sit down and the pain wasn't constant.

I found having a wee in the shower was less painful as there is no sting. I was disgusted at first but pain relief is pain relief!

Good luck with everything OP and congratulations on your baby Flowers

Tiredmama21 · 10/06/2022 19:56

You poor thing Flowers I remember only being able to sit at a certain angle and feeding was also a nightmare but did discover dd had tongue tie so that wasn't helping. Spritz for bits, frozen 'padsicles', keep up with the paracetamol and ibuprofen as you have been. The pain did subside after two weeks and by 12 weeks it had healed. I was so paranoid about the stitches coming out I had my poor midwife come round really late to have a look convinced they had, but the 'stitches' were actually our spaniels shredded dog toy, I cringe when I think of it now and what she must have thought but the fear is too real.

COL1N · 10/06/2022 19:56

Small piece of advice from me- let some air get to the area, I honestly believe this helped me heal so much when I was in your situation. Have a shower, lay on the bed on top of a towel (if still bleeding) & leave legs open abit.
As I say it doing this helped me alot!

Loulou1712 · 10/06/2022 19:57

Ask your midwife/HV to show you. The only way I can explain it is baby needs to be lower than you think, so they flex their head and reach up for the breast. Then tuck their bum into you really close.
I had an episiotomy with my first, they're definately not the most pleasant thing x

barneymcgroo · 10/06/2022 20:03

If you don't have a rubber ring/can't get one today, I found sitting on a yoga ball helped spread my weight over a greater area.

Side lying worked wonders for me - worth persevering. I had a midwife who showed me how to, pillow behind me. Was magic. Could ask one of them to show you, presuming you're still being visited?

Also laid back feeding might work? If you're comfy lying down? I know it doesn't help with getting her in and out of the Moses basket, but worth trying?

I know it's not helpful, but around 10 days it all got a LOT better. It will come.

I feel for you - it's horrendous, and you're doing amazingly.

badg3r · 10/06/2022 20:08

Keep practising feeding in your side
Get a donut cushion (or just a kid's blow up ring for the pool) to sit on
Baths with salt in to soak the wound

Also, and I wish someone had told me this at the time, it takes a long time for internal scar tissue to heal. For around six months after I gave birth and needed stitches it felt like sandpaper when I had sex. Use lube! And with time it will improve. If after a year or so it's still not right then they should be able to do something to help. Don't let them fob you off with "that's what happens"

BobbleWobble1 · 11/06/2022 16:26

Oh you poor thing. Mine was 3.5 years ago but I remember the recovery well and it didn't sound nearly as bad as yours.

Sitting on a feeding pillow really helped. Feeding in a laid back/koala position was a lifesaver as it took pressure off the stitches and my lower back which was suffering from a number of failed spinals.

I did get an infection and the wound opened up so it took a bit longer to heal. First week I was practically immobile but this improved a lot in the second week, probably because the antibiotics had got on top of things. Do get someone to check for infection as it was just by chance when a community midwife came round and saw me walk, she said I shouldn't have been in as much pain as I was.

SummerHouse · 11/06/2022 16:34

COL1N · 10/06/2022 19:56

Small piece of advice from me- let some air get to the area, I honestly believe this helped me heal so much when I was in your situation. Have a shower, lay on the bed on top of a towel (if still bleeding) & leave legs open abit.
As I say it doing this helped me alot!

Second this. Also salt baths.

I have had a third degree tear, a second degree tear and all my stitches burst. Hope it's of some reassurance that I healed quickly with no long lasting issues. I know for some it's not so straightforward.

Mwnci123 · 11/06/2022 16:39

I agree with pp re side lying to feed. We (me and eldest dd) didn't get it straight away but did eventually and it's really helpful.

My episiotomy was very uncomfortable to sit on in the early days but not as painful as yours. I agree with pp that you should get checked out to be on the safe side. I thought my stitches looked a bit funny at some point and having the midwife take a look was very reassuring.

Kabuki · 25/06/2022 17:34

How do you feel now?

I had an episiotomy three days and this sounds like me. I can barely move. I too am struggling to lift baby out of the cot to feed. I’m in tears all the time. It’s just horrible. I really hope you turned a corner. ❤️

I’ve been devouring mumsnet for tips. So have the donut pillow, fresh air, dosed up on painkillers. Unfortunately I think in my fervour to get relief, I overdosed the Epsom salts so I’ve now added a general stinging sensation to downthere.

midwife comes tomorrow so will get her to take a look.

just want to feel normal. Have had other births including one with a massive haemorrhage involving an operation under GA. But this birth was the worst. It was an emergency. Baby is fine. Thankfully. It’s just me who feels like a 200 year old woman. Xxx