Discharging myself from postnatal ward

[Moancup]

The threads on postnatal wards make them seem like utter hell, and there are always a few posters who remind people that they are allowed to discharge themselves.

The idea is appealing, given the horror stories. But I wouldn’t want to do anything that could compromise recovery.

I’ve never given birth before so I’m interested in what people’s criteria would be for when it’s safe to discharge yourself early. No stitches? No excessive bleeding? Toast not dark enough?

Yes Toast not dark enough you fucking fruit loop.

I don't really think you can make generalisations about when it's ok, as there are so many factors, and of course it's not just you but the baby as well.
After my first, it got to the point that the only reason I hadn't been discharged was because they wanted to assess DD's feeding. However a night shift midwife had done this and said it was fine, they just hadn't recorded it anywhere, and then whenever I rang for someone to observe a feed during the day, no one came in time. I was happy to say I was going to discharge myself because there were no actual health concerns for either of us, and I knew that feeding had been observed and was fine.

With my second, she had jaundice - not at a level that needed treatment but it was close and they wanted to make sure it was going down sufficiently before discharge. I was totally fine, but wouldn't have discharged myself while there were issues with DD.

Thanks @SickAndTiredAgain, I see what you mean about the number of possible variables. Although in those two situations my instincts would have been the same.

I don’t think stitches are a reason to stay in. I had a home birth and a second degree tear, they did the stitches at home and the midwives didn’t need to stay any longer than normal because I’d had them.

Clearly one of the reasons behind my homebirth was to avoid hospitals completely but if I did have to go in very few things would make me stay.

I think my DH would be able to keep an eye on me much better at home than the staff of the ward. I’ve been in a situation where I became acutely ill in a hospital ward (not birth related) and one of the other patients had to go and find a nurse.

I think feeding is better to establish at home in the peace and quiet were I can eat better, be more hydrated and get more sleep!

Goes without saying that it’s quieter at home, it can also get properly dark at night.

I also think risk of infection is much lower, I’ve read so many horror stories about the showers and toilets in postnatal wards being unclean.

At home though you’re limited to over the counter pain relief atleast you’re incontrol of how much you take and when. Not waiting for anyone else.

I think I’d have to be far too ill to care or have baby in NICU to convince me to stay.

I had a dc one NYE. Woman next to me had 11 visitors. Pulling a hamper and carrying champagne .. I discharged myself.

Thank god for an August due date!

I had to stay a week. I 1000% would of discharged myself but unfortunately I couldn't as I was there because my baby was poorly with an infection.
Post natal wards are hell though I was Googling if I could legally discharge a baby in my sleep deprived desperate state!

If your baby has been discharged then you can. There was a huge paperwork delay and they wouldn't discharge any one that day because of it. Even though the babies ready to go. I threatened to self discharge so they had to get it sorted and I left at midnight 🙄think they thought I was a pain but who would stay in longer just cause that hadn't got round to finishing forms

I gave birth to DS1 at 2:15am. Normal vaginal birth with a second degree tear. I got stitched up, baby weighed, and then the midwives disappeared from the delivery room completely until 7am when someone - not a midwife - moved us to the ward. I had to change the bloody towels, took myself for a shower - but actually I’m not complaining, it was a lovely few hours of peace with our beautiful little boy.

On the ward, apart from DS having his hearing test at around 10am, and the lovely tea lady bringing lunch, we were completely ignored until I was finally discharged at 8pm. There was absolutely no good reason for the delay, I had managed to latch, DS perfect, I’d managed a wee etc. They were just busy I guess. Nobody else on the postnatal ward (midwife led unit). I was fairly happy in newborn bliss, and watching crap TV whilst husband slept in the chair next to me BUT because it was my first I really had no idea what was normal.

In all of the circumstances, feeling far more informed as I do now, I would have discharged myself around 12. I DEFINITELY would if there were other people on the ward behaving in some of the ways described on the latest thread.

I would discharge myself personally. It was bloody hard when I was in with DS. On my own due to covid. Ward super busy etc. but I wouldn't go against medical advice. I had a 3c tear blood transfusion torn uterus. DS was meconium delivery. We needed to be looked after. Having said that thanks to covid they did discharge the following day less than 24hours after birth and surgery. I wasn't ready.

WOULDNT! Oh for an edit button

It’s a conversation you can have with them - “I’m feeling well. What needs to happen before I can go home?”. Then assess.

In my case I asked that at 8am following a section at 4ish the afternoon before, and was told it was removing my catheter, weeing into a cardboard hat (??!), a pharmacy order for me, visit from a nurse to show me how to administer meds, some sort of check on my twins and, bizarrely, an anaesthetist wanting to ask about my satisfaction with their service. Most of those things seemed like good reasons so I stayed in but badger med every nurse/mw/dr I saw to do the next thing, and we were all home by 5pm. I’m quite certain it would have been another night if I hadn’t, and I probably would have just discharged myself.

I had to stay in 2 nights and if it wasn't due to having to stay in because DD was small
I would have discharged (although if she hadn't of been small I don't think I'd of been kept in). I would say see how you feel at the time- if it's because of you then if you want to discharge do but if it's for the baby they won't let you anyway believe me I asked enough times 😂. I do now though realise why they were keeping us in and that I was just tired after 48 hours of labour and wanting my own bed hahah xx

Keep an open mind. I look back at my three postnatal ward stays with fondness. Yes, there are sometimes annoying people, but I found having time with my babies in a supported space with meals provided to be restful! Certainly when number three and four were born, I was in no rush to get home at all

In 2020 I discharged myself 22 hours after a C-Section because covid regulations meant my DH couldn't see our newborn (we missed the 2 hour window for visiting) and I wanted to see my 2 year old. The staff were absolutely run off their feet, I waited nearly 2 hours and 4 requests to get a jug of water. Couldn't reach my baby out of the cot when he cried because of my spinal anaesthetic. No-one came when I rang the bell for a very long time.

It wasn't their fault, they were trying to do everything that relatives would usually do. They were completely overwhelmed and doing their best, but I was so vulnerable and felt very alone.

I had to carry my bags, baby and car seat across the entire ward as there were no porters avaliable and no-one allowed in to help.

I actually felt that it was worth it because I was completely helpless and I just wanted to feel supported and cared for and I felt like a burden in the hospital. One of the midwives asked me if I would like a shower and then with obvious relief said thank you when I said I didn't.

I wouldn't advise it though- I was in a lot of pain and it took a long time to heal- a lot longer than my first. If you feel cared for I'd try and stay in, it was just a very unusual period in maternity care.

@NotYourOscarSpeech had a very similar early morning on the birth of my first child. Midwives disappeared from 3 until handover in the morning. However, that was stressful as they left me after checking/helping latch so I was in the bed with a newborn, fallen asleep, DH, fallen asleep, me feeling sleepy and having had an epidural so unable to put baby in cot the other side of the room. And fears of co-sleeping, unsafe looking bars etc. So, with partially dead legs I managed to kick DH awake, and he put baby in the cot. It was not a peaceful time in postnatal and I stayed a week so, I'm pregnant with no. 2 and want to be informed about early discharge/self discharge etc. I will discuss with my midwife.

I discharged myself as was only in for feeding support - of which absolutely none was given. It was a complete waste of time and resources and much more stressful than being at home. They weren't short of beds and weren't in any rush to get anyone home. I'd had a super simple delivery and was the last to arrive on my ward yet over 24 hours later I was the first to leave. Felt very misled by all the statistics about getting women home within 6 hours as there was clearly no drive from any of the staff to discharge a soul. I exclusively breastfed the baby til 6 months and carried on feeding past a year, so missing out on the hospital advice on feeding (which I saw no evidence of) didn't cause any issues. With my second and covid, they couldn't wait to kick us out!

I self discharged 3am after delivering 10pm 2 days earlier.

Unexpectedly large baby that was feeding.

At this point I still hadn't had any sleep, noisy ward, mums snoring, baby's screaming. Baby boom post 9/11.

They weren't happy. I offered to leave the baby behind 🤷🏽‍♀️

I took some ready made formula with me fed DD once home and then bloody slept and slept.

Refused to even go on postnatal with the next ones. Had booked for home birth but went too far overdue.

It totally depends how you feel and whether you think you'll recover better at home than in hospital.

I didn't discharge myself after the emcs with ds1 but I didn't need to. The hearing test lady said "oh I'll do yours tomorrow as they'll keep you in for 2 days" to which I replied "well I don't think that's their decision". A friendly midwife turned up half an hour later and I went home shortly after as I was fine.

Ds2 was born at home.

Ds3 I didn't discharge myself after the 2.5l pph because I live an hour from the hospital and the doctor explained that the chance of bleeding restarting is much higher in the first 24hrs. So I agreed to stay till that point.

I find hospital wards really hard to sleep in, I rarely even doze. For me, I rest better at home. But if I/baby need/are likely to need medical attention quickly then I'd stay.

I threatened to discharge myself with DS. We'd only gone to postnatal for some feeding support, which consisted of a midwife throwing some syringes at me and telling me to express colostrum and syringe feed. Then they'd run out of red books so were refusing to discharge anyone! We simply said, that's fine, we'll be leaving and can pick up the red book another day when you next get a delivery. Suddenly and miraculously one appeared and we were discharged, but not before they'd written several lies in my notes including that we'd refused feeding support! So do watch out for that and if you do get retaliation, flag it to your midwife at the first home visit if not before.

For me personally, once baby had had all the initial checks, hearing checks, vitamin K, and I'd been checked (had first wee, temperature all normal) and we'd exhausted all support needed or offered (feeding or pain relief I suppose) then there was little point staying. Obviously if there'd been any question over mine or baby's health we'd have stayed.

They only keep you in has long has they need too. With my first 2 I was out within 24 hours. With my 3rd baby needed to stay for 48 hours to monitor baby for withdrawal from medication I was taking throughout my pregnancy.

I spent 4 nights on the postnatal ward after my DS was born.

DS was born by forceps and I had PPH and an infection. It took 2 days before I was given IV antibiotics and 3 days before a blood transfusion. It was in the height of the pandemic and staff shortages were that bad that I was not really being cared for. I asked for pain relief and people kept forgetting them, so waited 3 hours until it was the ward medication round. My DH could only be there for a limited time per day.

My DS was perfectly healthy and my mental health took a nose dive in those 4 days on the postnatal ward. My DH was scared to leave us because the care was so poor. I threatened to self discharge, but in the end they allowed me to go home when a midwife pointed out to the doctor that I could be treated with iron tablets at home and was under no obligation to stay. Thankfully she saw that I needed her to advocate for me and I went home the same night.

If it had not been for the pandemic I think I probably would have stayed as long as needed. There would have been staff to provide care and my DH would've been there more.

It's definitely made me consider whether I'd like a second.

However things might be a little better.

It was hell.

As soon as they confirmed DS was fine and all I was waiting for was consultant sign off, I was off. Didn't fancy waiting another 8 hours after having to have waited 8 hours each time I needed to have a consultant visit. Midwife got very shitty and tried to usher me out with my cannula
Still in after that

I believe you can leave even if the ‘discharge papers’ aren’t sorted, they can just be completed later?

@outshinethemorningsun What are they going to do, hold you down?

Although I imagine that if you start packing up and show you're serious, in most cases they will suddenly appear...