What's your birth story? Tell me the Good, the Bad and the Ugly

[Belle2210]

I'm a pregnant FTM and I have to say alot of the time already I am seeing the big push towards Positive Birthing. Positive is great but I've already had experiences in a pregnancy group setting where its been discouraged for a woman to tell her birth story if it's not classed as positive. I personally think this is undermining and Rose tinting but I'm maybe more of a realist and would rather know the worst along with the best.

Anyway! In this thread I want to hear everything whether your birth and post partum recovery were perfect or the worst thing you've ever gone through 💕.

For that reason it's probably best to have a trigger warning for anyone reading ahead too.

Period pains started every 15 minutes at 11pm. Bloody show all night (couldn’t sleep)

went in for reduced movements, they decided to keep me in and induce as post dates. Didn’t get that far as my waters went at 6pm and contractions started, 3 in 10 minutes immediately + meconium so stuck on a bloody monitor which I hated. I just wanted to walk and rock and I couldn’t.

11pm epidural, I was already exhausted from lack of sleep.

put on drip as slow progress.

vomiting 5am. Awake all night, now exhausted and dehydrated.

stuck at 9cm for 4 hours. Scanned and discovered baby is presenting sideways. Offered to keep labouring for 2 hours and let baby possibly turn, forceps or c section. I chose a c section.

baby delivered perfectly fine, breastfeeding etc fine. Recovery was really hard, nothing can prepare you I don’t think. I found it all very traumatic if I’m honest but I was young and had it in my head I was going to have a non medicated water birth!

DS1 (37 weeks) - sweep at 9am (was already 4cm but didn't know), waters broke just after 11am, contractions started. Had decided to try a hypnobirth so went with the flow.
Arrived at hospital at midday, labored in the bath, mooed like a cow whilst the hospital staff fed DH meatloaf and gave him the entinox to suck on.
DS1 arrived at 4pm, so pretty quick.
Amazing birth, I felt like I could eat nails I was on such a high.

DS2 (38 weeks) was a slow burner as he wasn't engaged. Irregular painless contractions started at 9pm, got very close together by 11pm. OBGYN recommended an epidural as we almost lost DS2 in utero at 30 weeks, and he wanted to make sure I could go straight to theatre for an emsc if needed.
Had epidural at midnight and went straight to sleep. Woke up at 6am with OBGYN telling me it was time, DS2 was out in 3 pushes.

Honestly, I would do both of my births again in a heartbeat. The main thing that made them both so brilliant was that I was listened to every step of the way. Whatever I wanted (in way of pain relief) was listened to and granted. I never had the panic of "I'm too far for an epidural", or ignored or told I wasn't far enough along.

I was given all the power and that was what made my births so wonderful.

I didn't give birth in the UK though...

My first I was in labour for 39 hours. I developed chorioamnionitis due to the sheer amount of vaginal exams I had. Had an epidural, got to 9cm and baby's heart crashed, emergency section and in hospital for a week with both of us on antibiotic drips due to infection. Recovered fine from section but never established breastfeeding.

Second was a planned section. Very calm experience. Bottle fed from the start as was on a medication that meant my milk never came in. Recovery though was absolutely brutal. I had a coil put in at the same time as my section and whoever put it in was a fucking idiot, it was the size of a fishing rod and I ended up developing endomitritis (womb infection) which made me extremely ill and took 4 lots of antibiotics to clear.

Contractions started around 4am, spent the day doing my hypno breathing and using tens machine which really helped. By 5pm contractions were coming more regularly and phones the birthing centre who didn’t feel I needed to come in as contractions were only every 4 minutes. Was told to run a bath and sit in there for a while which did nothing for me. By 9pm I was in a lot more pain and managed to get admitted then. Contractions were every 3 minutes and turned out I was already 8cm dilated, I think the midwife thought she was in for an easy birth. Opted for a water birth but the water was far too hot as the midwife had not checked the temperature and decided not to use the pool. By 2am felt the need to push but after an hour with no progress was told I wasn’t pushing hard enough and told to do purple pushing (the complete opposite of what you should do in birth). Still no progress so told to stop pushing, which is incredibly hard and so painful when you get a contraction. Midwife struggled to find a heart beat so I was wheeled to the ward and ended up with forceps as I was told this was safer than emergency c section. DD born at 6am tangled up in the umbilical cord which was why she was stuck, the cord was tightening around her with each contraction and they had no idea as I wasn’t monitored until I was strapped up for a spinal for the forceps and you could see how wildly her heart rate was dropping with each contraction. I think DH was traumatised as I was dragged down the operating table as they tried to yank DD out of me and thought he was going to lose both of us. DD had a growth scan at 36 weeks weighing 5lb 3oz and was born full term at 5lb 11oz. She had late undiagnosed IGUR and should never have been been vaginally. She had bruising on her eye and a bulge on the side of her head from being stuck when born and I spent weeks unable to talk about the birth without crying. The only good thing that came out of everything was breastfeeding was a breeze. After my experience I am never having another one and wished I had opted straight for a c section in the first place. I had an episiotomy and tore internally and ended up with a prolapse thanks to forceps and the stupid purple pushing.

I always say that the day my first child was born was the worst day of my life, which is strange considering how much I had bought into hypnobirthing. I was totally invested and literally expected a pain free labour.

Induction, long labour, epidural didn't work, no gas and air in the country I delivered in, was told I needed to do the entire labour on my back. I remember crying and wishing I was dead. Ended in EMCS. I was emotionally broken and totally traumatised afterwards and most people I spoke to seemed annoyed with me for not moving on. I think I had PTSD and fell into a spiral of obsessing and ruminating about every detail. I was constantly making my husband fill in the blanks in my memory, as it was all such an awful blur. It impacted every area of my life and I felt so worthless and messed up. My sons birthday is also the anniversary of when his birth happened to me, if that makes sense!

Second baby: in UK. Induction, reasonable free movement, on birth ball etc and hindered only by the drip. Lots of gas and air, epidural on demand, great fun with midwives. Forceps, haemorrhage and blood transfusion but really positive experience. I felt like I had been hit by a bus physically but was on such a high and was healed from trauma of first birth.

Third baby, abroad again: different country to the first. Elective section. Meh.

@Sarah13xx This is so similar to my birth story! I found the cannula to be the worst part of the whole C-section and recovery. It took the nurse 4 tries to get in, and by the time she was done, my wrist was covered in bruises and I was sobbing and dry heaving from the pain. Epidural was a doddle in comparison. I was also terrified of birth and I had an absolute shitshow of a pregnancy (HG, Pre-natal anxiety and depression, needed progesterone, had to have extra growth scans because I couldn't gain weight etc.). I'm a bit annoyed I wasted the energy on the sheer blind terror since the ELCS was easier than having my wisdom teeth out./

I had an ELCS because DS was stuck in a complicated and quite frankly weird breech position. My section kept being pushed back because of emergencies and because the beds in one of the ORs broke. I was lying there on my drip, absolutely starving listening to my consultant pitching an absolute fit outside the curtain because my surgery was delayed.

Anyway, epidural was a breeze, c-section felt odd, but no pain at all. I was a bit nauseous, but they put an anti-emetic in my drip so it rapidly went away. Consultant brought a terrified looking medical student in with her and a really grouchy OBGYN-fellow. It was great thought because she was explaining everything she was doing to the med student and quizzing the grouchy OBGYN-fellow and I was listening in. DS came out bum first and was not pleased. He was screaming his head off with his head still inside me and also peed on the grouchy doctor who was not thrilled. My consultant and I couldn't stop laughing. I also told the anesthetist I wanted the good drugs and wow did he come through on that. I has 10 days worth of very hardcore painkillers and felt like I could take on the world

Anyway, sewn up (v. well, barely and scar and no overhang) DH stayed with furious DS, then I was wheeled into recovery, did skin to skin and had the nurses help me start breastfeeding.

Planned water birth turned into emergency induction as I developed pre-eclampsia.
First hospital failing was that they didn't take my blood pressure seriously at 36weeks when my midwife sent me in for monitoring. They packed me off on my way with no help, advice or medication.
Two weeks later I was deemed a high risk of a stroke and needed inducing ASAP.

Pessary induction started at 1.30am after 3 rounds of antihypertensive medications to lower my blood pressure (none of which worked).
By 6am had period cramps but not severe enough for me to question.
By 7am I had full on, back to back contractions that I couldn't speak through.
Called midwife as didn't know what was happening having been told induction would take 3 days. Student midwife hooked me up to monitors and said she could only get baby's heart rate, not contractions (despite a reading of 172 on the contraction front). She disappeared off to get a senior midwife and some pain relief.
30mins later she didn't come back, now 7.30am and my waters broke. DH went and got the same student midwife who didn't believe my waters had gone until I waddled to the bathroom, undressed and water was dripping down my legs.
Senior midwife arrived with Paracetamol, told me I wasn't in labour and it was just stretching and she would be back in 30mins. I vomited the paracetamol immediately and was then refused any other meds.
I asked for the induction to be stopped which finally prompted the midwife to examine me.
At which point I was 5cms dilated and rushed to delivery.
Baby was born shortly after getting on the bed. I needed an episiotomy as baby's heart rate was low due to the cord being wrapped around her neck.
She was born in less than 2 hours from first contraction.

Sadly that's where everything went wrong.
I haemorrhaged alot after the placenta was removed. The midwives decided it was skin bleeding from the episiotomy and stitched me up.
I was asked to have a shower about an hour after the birth which was fine until i collapsed. I had suffered a severe blood pressure drop and haemorrhage and the crash team were called. They finally placed an IV line and gave me fluids and I felt OK.
Until an hour later where I collapsed again and the crash team were back. This time i needed plasma and a blood transfusion.
I was kept in overnight then sent on my way the next day.

Recovery was awful. My episiotomy stitches fell out on day 3. I was sent by my midwife to hospital for antibiotics which I wasn't given. I bled continiously for weeks and had severe pain which took me back to hospital where I was told I had a urine infection and given antibiotics.
The bleeding turned to severe haemorrhage where I went back to hospital to be told I prob had an infection and given more antibiotics and a urgent scan was ordered.
Scan happened 3 weeks later where I was told that they had left a chunk of placenta behind and I would need surgery to remove it.
My body still felt I was pregnant hence I struggled to breast feed.
Referred to gynecology who refused to see me and said placenta would come out on its own, despite still bleeding heavily 10 weeks later. After another severe haemorrhage parts of the placenta came away. This was 12 weeks after baby was born.
I was severely anaemic and lacked iron.

Hospital also missed a tongue tie and heart murmur in baby as well.

On the actual birth front I would have an induction again as the actual birth wasn't bad at all. In the emergency situation the staff were fab and I didn't bleed to death. But, a quick scan would have stopped 12 weeks of haemorrhage and retained products.
I appreciate hospitals are busy but I had an awful recovery because my concerns were fobbed off.

At least baby and I are fine now.

I was my DD birthing partner due to DGD dad not being around the end of my DD's pregnancy. She had very light contractions during the day by 7pm it hit her quiet bad and we had to go in remarkably she had gotten to 7cm dilated by the time we got to the hospital so she was taken to the delivery suite. DD while was at 8 or 9cm dilated she popped her own waters and pooped herself. She did have a couple of complications first was that my DGD was back to back and didn't seem to want to turn around, secondly my DD didn't have any progression into the birthing apart from getting to 10cm. She had to go in and get a spinal back blocker and she had to have forceps to help her along with the birthing and a 3rd degree tear and had to have stitches. They had to stay in for a week due to DGD having low white blood count and had to have anti-biotics because DD was 41+6 days. She was also was prepared to have an induced labour the following morning but delivered her at 11.45pm the night before.
For me though I had 4 children all but one was planned first child was the first time me and my hubby was ever physical she was quick if I remember 2nd child DS was who we really planned for but I was on the pill and surprised us as he was about 19 months after our first DD 3rd pregnancy was also a surprise due to the fact I had the coil in and was just off by 2 months of his brothers 2nd birthday he came out cowboying it with due to me being to far gone to safely take it out before my birth and my last DD who had my DGD she was the most difficult but easiest was back to back with me but as soon as I used the yoga ball she slid right out thankfully due to the hubby being asleep in the chair the midwife came in the right moment for her to catch DD before she hit the floor

midwife told me I was hours away from giving birth and I should walk round the hospital.. she left me to get dressed. I went for wee and baby was nearly born in toilet. I had Man in the Mirror in my head and got annoyed with myself for not knowing the chorus.
midwife came back tutted and said she only had a muffin for breakfast and should be on her lunch now.

First birth, induced and had a failed epidural but liked the gas and air. All got a bit tense as heart beat dropped, lots of people rushed into the room. I haemorrhaged 2 days post birth and had a transfusion and found it all rather traumatic.
second birth had really sharp contractions that went down my legs and close together but went to hospital and said I was only 1cm dilated so to go home. I told my DH that the pain was too intense so midwife gave me pethidine so I could stay. 5 minutes later I gave birth, so all very quick and a panicked midwife. Odd thing was the pethidine knocked me out but minutes later when I had the urge to push I was totally with it. I felt so good after dc2, full of energy, it was so different to dc1 birth.

Very good experience both times. 7 stitches the first time as it was a very quick delivery and baby wouldn’t wait. Only pain relief needed during my very short labour was entonox gas and air.

No stitches for the second one. Only in final stage of labour for 90 minutes - didn’t miss breakfast and managed to get up to the ward in time for lunch. (Cheese salad).

I found it all to be a very positive experience and I do realise I was very lucky.

First time round I was in labour for around 12 hours. I went in to the birthing pool for about ten minutes before I started bleeding, so then got out and had gas and air. Pain was absolutely horrific. I remember screaming the place down and thinking that I would let them chop my legs off to stop the pain. Doctors and midwives starting arguing as Dr wanted to give me a C section. I could've jumped for joy when he said it. Ended up with an emergency C section & it was the best thing I'd ever had. Healed very quickly, was walking around town 4 days after c section.

2nd time round, I elected for a C section straight away as I couldn't face the pain again. Recovery was far slower than first time round and a lot more painful but I always say that I would have a C section over trying to give birth naturally any day!

Little bit of background: I had group B strep, so I was aware I had to go straight in when I knew I was in labour (didn't need to wait for contractions to become frequent), as I would have to have an IV throughout labour.

Went in at 3pm on my due date for sweep. Waters broke straight away but slowly so I wasn't certain. Went home and relaxed, by 8pm contractions were frequent so went in to hospital. Triaged at 9:30, got into birthing suite at midnight. 0.5cm dilated.

By 1:30am contractions were pretty painful.

At 4:30am I asked for gas and air. Think I was about 2cm dilated at this point.

Somewhere around mid-morning I asked for pethidine, which made me horrendously sick and I would personally not recommend.

Got the birthing bath started around 1pm.

At 6:30pm I asked for an epidural. I was in excruciating pain. In my birth plan I didn't want an epidural. Not for any specific reasons, just wanted to see if I could go without. I'd held off for as long as I could but the combination of lack of sleep and 17 hours of painful contractions I just had to give in, as I was still only 7cm dilated.

Epidural was HEAVEN. It felt so euphoric to not be in that pain anymore. The relief was so quick.

Anyway, they obviously had moved me to the labour ward by this point. The epidural naturally slowed down the contractions so they said they would let me sleep overnight and we would start again at 6am.

6am they gave me the hormones to get the contractions speeding up again. 90 minutes of pushing, plus ventouse and episiotomy and a 2nd degree tear later, DD was plopped onto my chest and all was (sort of) forgotten.

Of course I was legs akimbo, being poked and stitched up and whatnot but I had absolutely no idea.

They had wanted to get the forceps out but I think that gave me the final push (ha!) to get baby girl out.

I did then have to go back to hospital 15 days later to have retained placenta removed which wasn't the most fun! I've also had quite a slow pelvic floor recovery but unsurprising considering 90 minutes of pushing.

Mine is a 4? thread classic live birth thread.
You're welcome to read it

www.mumsnet.com/talk/childbirth/1354273-Im-booking-this-thread-early-nickelbabes-live-birth-thread

I was in labour a very long time, delivered naturally and then had to go into theatre due to birth injuries. I was very very unwell for a long time (6 months at least of being ‘disabled’ by the injuries and ongoing 10 years later ‘issues’).
I really wasn’t prepared for being so, so unwell. From speaking to others it is rare! But I wish I’d known as I constantly compared myself to others and didn’t really know how to advocate for myself or explain to friends and family that I had life changing injuries.
I sincerely hope no one else experiences what I did. But if anyone reading this now or in the future does, please be kind to yourself and remember no one would compare someone who had gone for a wander around the garden with someone who had completed an ultra marathons. All births are not equally difficult.

With DD I woke up on 37+6, pyjamas felt a bit damp. Put a pad on and lay back down, when standing up 30 mins later my waters gushed everywhere. Called the MLU where I had planned to give birth, went in for a sweep and booked for induction the following morning as I wasn't having any contractions.
Contractions started a few hours later, went back to hospital around 8pm to be told I was still 2-3cm (which I had been earlier that day when I'd had my sweep). They were quiet though so let me stay in. I was only allowed paracetamol and a bath and was struggling, the pain was making me vomit. Finally at 2am I was examined again and was now 4cm so I could have gas and air and the pool could be filled up. By 6.30 I was struggling again and when they were about to examine me again I had decided I was going to ask to be transferred to delivery for an epidural. Except I was 10cm so it was too late. DD was born after 4 hours of pushing - turned out she was back to back. I was going to be transferred 2 hours into pushing for an assisted delivery but there were no beds on the main delivery suite so I had to stay where I was - at one point there were around 5 midwives in the room to get baby out. I had a second degree tear and we had to stay in for 12 hours as she was born more than 24 hours after my waters had gone.
With DS from 38 weeks I had felt constipated. Saw my MW at 38+1 who agreed to give me a sweep of favourable (at my 36 week appointment she had said the last 5 sweeps she had done labour had started within a day or so so I had high hopes!). Yes it was favourable, turned out I was already 4cm, head was fixed down, she could feel it and my waters were bulging. She booked me in for another sweep at 39+1 but said she did not expect me to make that appointment and baby would be born that week. I had had a few instances of glucose in my urine throughout the pregnancy and had been for a GTT only 2 weeks earlier (negative), I had it again at that appointment and she wasn't sure what to do so asked me to drop another sample in the next day. As I left she said 'don't worry about bringing the sample in if you're in labour obviously', I rolled my eyes and laughed. Walked to pick my now 4 year old DD from school a couple of hours later and I was struggling to walk, the pressure was unreal. Got home and sat on the ball for a couple of hours. Told DH and as he left work that day one of his colleagues told him he'd see him jn 2 weeks after his PL as I was obviously going to have the baby soon. Again we laughed.
Woke up at 5am the next morning and didn't feel right. Even now I can't describe, it wasn't proper contractions but I was just very uncomfortable and I still felt constipated. DH asked me what I was doing when I got out of bed at 5.30am, told him I was going to the toilet and getting up - straight away he shot up, I do not get up at 5.30am ever!
Sat downstairs on my ball, he asked if I was in labour and I said I didn't know. Decided to time these pains I was having and yes I was in labour, they were 3.5 mins apart and 1 minute in length. I told DH to still go to work as I figured I was in slow/early labour and it could go on for days. It had got a little more painful by 6.15am however I was still talking through them, pain was nowhere near as bad as with DD (DS wasn't back to back thankfully). Sat on the toilet and my contraction timer app flashed up saying time to go to hospital. Told DH I wasn't going to hospital I was nowhere near ready to go and I was coping fine at home. Then I looked in the toilet bowl and I could see bright red blood. Called the MLU who said it sounded like I was in labour but it wasn't imminent and to make my way in at my own pace, but depending on how much blood I was losing I may be transferred up to triage. Called my parents to come and look after DD and take her to school.
Despite my parents living about a 1 minute drive away it took them 45 mins to get to us and in that time they ramped up. I knew I needed to get to hospital and I was struggling. By 7am we were finally on our way, I was out of it the whole journey there and apparently I kept repeating 'they had better not send me home' - I had visions of them saying I wasn't dilated
Got there around 7.20am, got to the desk visibly in labour and the stupid receptionist wouldn't let us in as we hadn't done LFT. It was the last thing on my mind before I'd left the house, she was adamant she wasn't allowed to let us in without one, I thought DH was going to throttle her. In the end we were let up, got on the MLU, showed to a room by a HCA (incidentally the exact same room
DD was born in 4 years earlier which was nice) and told it was shift changeover and someone would be with me as soon as. I think I lasted 20 seconds before I told DH to press the call bell and to get a midwife in. Straight away I was asked if I wanted the pool and the gas and air - I hadn't even been examined at this point which I found strange compared to last time but I suppose the midwife could tell. I was examined before getting in the pool and I was 7cm. Got in the pool and the relief was amazing, I coped much better. I still felt that pressure and I kept asking if she would pop my waters if she would let them go naturally, she said she would leave them and I had a right face on me the gas and air sent me a bit loopy and I was adamant I needed my phone to text my community midwife to tell her I wouldn't be bringing my urine sample in as I was on the MLU. God knows why I thought I had to do it right then, looking at my phone I messaged her at 8.10am.
I kept getting the urge to poo and I'd decided I was comfortable so was not getting out the pool to go to the toilet and the midwife would have to fish it out of the water. I told DH I was sorry if he saw me poo then decided to have a go. I felt a pop (a bit like I'd popped a cork out of my vagina) and straight away the pressure I'd felt vanished - I presume I'd pushed my waters out. I still needed to poo so tried again, it was one of the most painful poos I'd ever done. The midwife then said the head was out! Next contraction and another push and he was here. I was in shock, we'd only been at the hospital just over an hour. No tears. Got cleaned up and we were discharged 6 hours later, home in time for DD to get home from school to meet her little brother.