What's your birth story? Tell me the Good, the Bad and the Ugly

[Belle2210]

I'm a pregnant FTM and I have to say alot of the time already I am seeing the big push towards Positive Birthing. Positive is great but I've already had experiences in a pregnancy group setting where its been discouraged for a woman to tell her birth story if it's not classed as positive. I personally think this is undermining and Rose tinting but I'm maybe more of a realist and would rather know the worst along with the best.

Anyway! In this thread I want to hear everything whether your birth and post partum recovery were perfect or the worst thing you've ever gone through 💕.

For that reason it's probably best to have a trigger warning for anyone reading ahead too.

FTM - induced at 37 weeks after baby stopped growing. Went into full active labour at 4:40am, contracted for a few hours, began to push around 7am, baby became distressed and my heart rate dropped. Rushed to theatre, had a for-steps delivery. Baby born at 37 weeks exactly, 5lb4.5oz just before 8:20am; born kicking and screaming. I also had stitches too. Had gas and air and an epidural, although it was traumatic I cannot fault the emergency team who rushed me into theatre and the team of midwives. They all remained so calm and at the time I was panicking and fearful of my baby and my heart rate, they were absolutely incredible. I was in the hands of an incredible medical team and they kept myself and now 3 year old DS healthy and safe. I am forever greatful and would do it all over again and again! You are in safe hands and soon you will have a happy healthy little baby in your arms. No matter the labour, no mater how you give birth, you are in safe hands and it goes over so quick. All the best OP I hope you have a safe delivery x

But if I can offer you or your birthing partner any advice - take allllll the pictures. In labour, take lots of photos of you with baby, as soon as you meet baby, partner and baby & family photos of you all know together no matter how sweaty, tired and sticky you feel. Just as many pics as you can because you’ll look back on them a thousand times over. I love all mine and regret not taking more!

One of my closest friends died during birth and had to be revived. But she is now fine and so is the baby, so I really think this illustrates that even if the worst happens, medical science is amazing these days.

Second baby (less than 10 weeks ago!)

Waters went at home but contractions not really progressing as they should've been so I was induced at 41+1. I was nervous as I needed antibiotics through a cannula to be on the safe side for the baby and couldn't have the pool like last time so initially I was a bit deflated but in the end managed to have a positive induction. Only needed the gel and was able to wander the hospital gardens - which are really pretty - while it took effect so that was a lovely start really.

As things intensified I went back to my room and had some gas and air. I made good use of the bed and was in some nice active positions throughout. Listened to alanis morisette's jagged little pill album over and over which really got me through! The only crap bit was when I said to the midwife the baby was coming soon but she didn't believe me then when I was screaming for drugs and they said it was 'too late for any of that' I basically saw red as I kept thinking if only you'd have believed me! Anyway, I had to have my 'hind waters' or whatever broken right before pushing which I was not happy about at all as I found laying on my back to be awful but it was over quickly and then it came to my pushing stage - 20 mins, same as last time. I really lost it and was scared and angry but my amazing dh brought me 'back into the room' as it were and then I got really into it. Got on my knees on the bed and pushed really hard then the baby came out! We didn't know the sex (unlike last time) so dh told me she was a girl then I held her straight away for delayed cord clamping / first cuddle bliss. It was truly amazing. Like last time I didn't cry, was incredibly calm and happy. Placenta was hard work like last time but a bit quicker I think. Had a second degree tear. 8 hours between the gel being split and baby being born. Stayed in for one night then we were on our way back home.

I absolutely loved giving birth (everything has healed really well and I'm completely recovered) and am definitely not having a third for various reasons so am genuinely gutted I will never get to do it again. Good luck op!

Top tips:

If possible put some olive oil on the baby's bum before the first poo. Makes wiping it off a breeze.

Boots maternity pads are the best.

Having someone talk to me while I was being stitched up really helped distract me.

Instead of bouncing on the ball, circle your hips on it instead. Meant to be better for the baby and be more effective.

Went in to labour after a sweep from the obstetrician!

Very normal and easy vaginal delivery. Minimal blood loss. A second degree tear along my episiotomy scar which was very sore but everything else went so smoothly.

Good luck!

First birth - had contractions all day the day before. They were exactly like period pains nothing too unpleasant. By 6am the next day they were very strong and every 5 minutes. The midwife on the phone said I didn't sound in enough pain to come in. I went in anyway. They made me wait in the waiting area in a lot of pain with a room full of people. When I was finally assessed they said oh gosh your 8cm let's get you down to the birthing suite and on gas and air. I had in my birth plan I wanted a water birth. My midwife was messing about with the blood pressure machine and kept doing my blood pressure when I was mid contraction so it was high. She then decided to break my waters which was very painful mid contraction. She then decided actually my blood pressure was too high to go into the birth pool and they would need to move me to the delivery suite. By this point I was feel the urge to push and was very likely 10cm. They made me get back dressed give me something to bite down on so I won't scream the corridors down as the wheel me to the delivery suite. Thankfully another midwife came to help at that point. I think I was scared of pushing and the gave me an episiotomy (small cut with a numbing injection) which I think really helped. Gave birth to DD at 10.24am

Second - Scared about requesting a water birth in case of a repeat of the above. It started fairly similar period pains but just from the evening by 9am I decided to go in. My issue was when stood up my contractions were every 4 minutes if I lay down every 10. They made me lie down to monitor them hence said I wasn't ready and told me to go home. I told DH I wasn't going home he agreed and we basically walked around for half an hour having contractions every 3/4 minutes. When I went back in at 9.30 they told me I had just been assessed and would have to wait. I stood in agony in the corridor with my arms around DH neck as I couldn't stand up without support. Luckily the head midwife happened to walk past and see this and gave the other midwife's a good telling off. Instantly they had a room for me. My DH explained to my midwife my concerns about the blood pressure situation and water birth. Who reassured me she would only take my BP when I wasn't having a contraction. This time I got my water birth and I felt like the pain was more bearable. I personally think your body is less tense in water hence isn't as painful. DS was born at 12.26pm so it was a good job I didn't go home. I had a second degree tear with both births so need stitches but didn't find them painful and no issues healing.

Overall my second birth was much more positive. I healed much quicker both physically and mentally. I think your first can be a massive shock aswell. I do think back and feel annoyed at being dismissed both times. But also feel lucky compared to other horror stories. My midwife for my second labour was also great. I also had great bf support especially from a student midwife after my first. Most of the other women on the ward had decided to bottle feed so she spent a lot of time helping me throughout my first couple of night. I forgot her name but always wished I could have thanked her. I did send a letter to the ward so I hoped she read it. I truly believe it was because of her I bf my first until she was two and was then able to bf my second also. Good luck OP

1st was on the whole ok but very long. Contracting from about 6am on the Saturday until he was born at 11pm on the Sunday.

Sent home from hospital on the Saturday night as was only 1cm after contracting hard all day at roughly 3 in 10 for several hours. Given 2 paracetamol and home for a very very long night. Sick and bloody show around 6am Sunday back to hospital.
Still 1cm but now fully effaced..
allowed to stay as midwife unit was quiet.
got to 4cm around lunchtime and got the gas and air and things improved a lot.
transferred out of pool to labour ward for a temp that was very marginally over what was allowed for midwife unit.

labour ward - hooked up to continuous monitor. Baby in distress. 10 cm and foetal ejection reflex but they still tried to yank him out with the ventouse. Pushing phase 16 min so very intense and was left traumatised by the chaos of it which hugely affected my bond with no 1. and lead to pnd/pna for a long time.

no2 home birth. Amazing. Woke at midnight with contractions, laboured at home using the hypno birthing freya app. Dp put up the pool. I watched Klaus on the iPad, had a shower, bounced on ball.

called midwives when contractions were getting super intense (but 7min apart) so they were a bit doubtful. My community midwife rang back and listened to a contraction which were lasting 1.30. Asked if I wanted them to go get the gas and air or come straight out - I asked for the gas.
30 min later body started pushing while dp was frantically filling the pool.
Pool was filled. midwives stuck in traffic. I threw myself in the pool and he was born 5 min later entirely in his unbroken bag of waters and 2 min before the midwives ran in the door.

Between calling midwives and baby born was 50 min I was probably pushing for about 15 or 20 min.

2nd degree tear was stitched up on sofa while drinking sweet tea and huffing the gas and air. Midwife’s sorted and helped empty pool and clear up.
ordered a huge Greek takeaway while cuddling baby on sofa and watching Netflix
I would do it again any day. Total time from contractions to baby was about 14 hours.

Dc1. Induced because I was slightly overdue and had had some symproms of pre eclampsia. I felt very strongly that I didnt have pre eclampsia and the reason for my slightly high blood pressure was that I hadnt gone for a walk that day because i was saving my energy for the bloody hospital! Anyway youll be here for days they said. 11 hours later I was holding my baby. I had stitches but the anasthetic hadnt kicked in so I felt every stitch. I didnt feel at all listened to and actually quite traumatised. No one offered anything - guidance, information or pain relief. I didnt know I would be in so much pain afterwards.

Dc2 I read my notes from my first and changed hospitals. Had a lovely mw who really listened. Induced again. Had a physically worse birth but felt MUCH better about it.

Went in to be induced with DD, contractions started at 7pm, got in a bath at 9pm, waters broke at 9.30pm, moved to delivery ward, was checked at 12.45am, was 4cm, DD was born at 1.25am!

Spontaneous labour with DS, contractions became regular at around 2pm, went into hospital at 9pm as contractions every 5 minutes, was checked on admittance and told I was only 2cm, baby heartbeat kept dipping though so was kept in for monitoring, was checked at 5am, was 3cm, checked again at 6am, a panicked midwife says I'm 9cm and with that my waters broke, DS born at 6.45am, he was back to back and I had an episiotomy.

Healed quickly with both, no pain relief for either, but had significant blood loss with both.

I had gestational diabetes and needed insulin to control my fasting figures, so our trust wanted to induce me between 38 and 39 weeks. My levels were doing fine so I was booked for 39 weeks. I then had a period where my blood sugars went haywire and reduced movements at 37 weeks so I was offered an earlier induction at 38+1 which I accepted.

I had a sweep two days before my scheduled induction, which was unsuccessful as they couldn’t reach my cervix. I went into hospital at 1pm on induction day and pessary was inserted at 4pm. Nothing happened overnight. At 5am I asked the midwives to reinsert the pessary as it had fallen out. Again nothing much happened. At 10am I went for a walk to the coffee shop on site (10 minutes away from the ward). On our walk back to the ward my contractions started and I’d had 3 by the time I got to the ward at 11am. I had regular contractions from then. I had lunch about 12pm and threw up shortly after that and then didn’t stop throwing up until baby was born. At 1pm I asked them to take the pessary out as it had clearly worked (wasn’t due to be taken out until 4pm) and my cervix was still back and not dilated. At 2pm my waters broke and I asked for pain relief but they could only give me paracetamol, which I threw up.

I kept asking for more pain relief but they couldn’t do anything. I focussed on my breathing techniques. The next couple of hours were buzzing the midwives and saying I was in pain and then saying there was no space on delivery but they’d let delivery know that I wasn’t coping. I was getting quite frantic with my requests for pain relief by about 4pm and they made it clear I’d jumped ahead of several women because I wasn’t coping.

I got to delivery about 5pm and could finally have some gas and air. When I was examined I was at 8cm. I used gas and air to manage contractions until transition when I asked for more pain relief. I was examined and told I was 10cm, this was 9pm. I asked for pethedine and an epidural but as they expected baby to be born soon they gave me some more paracetamol and codeine. The codeine made me sleepy so I used the gas and air for contractions but dozed between contractions, which were still every 2 minutes. Midwife woke me at 10pm and told me to crack on, baby was born at 20 to 11. Vaginal, non-instrumental birth with a second degree year and a couple of grazes. I was stitched up while holding baby.

I’d done antenatal harvesting and knew how to hand express but because of been so sick during labour I had nothing. We spent several hours on delivery with a health care assistant mauling me trying to get DD to latch. They eventually gave up and let me go to post natal ward about 2.30am. My colostrum didn’t come back in until about 17 hours after delivery and DD needed some formula as her blood sugars were too low. I struggled to get her to match and we were eventually discharged about 44 hours after delivery.

We spent a day at home as my milk was coming in but DD had lost too much birth weight and we were sent back to hospital. She was topped up with formula. I pumped in A&E and expressed about 50ml of breast milk (formula top up was 67ml but breast milk is more calorific and so they need less, baby is also more efficient at getting the milk than a pump) so I’m pretty sure I actually had enough breast milk but my supply tanked as soon as we were admitted to the ward (DH had to go home so a lack of support, stressful environment). I never got my supply back. At 5 weeks I was attempting to get DD to latch, often needing DH to settle her as she got too worked up to latch. Then I would top up with formula, then DH would have to take her again while I pumped to build up my supply. A double breast pump didn’t work, it just ended up with me leaking breast milk all over myself. DD also had reflux so was throwing up a lot including the breast milk I was battling to give her. It was disheartening to keep battling with her and I began to despise feeding time, which was every 3 hours, and get really anxious and down before each feed.

Dc1 arrived early and spontaneously. Waters broke Saturday evening but no contractions. They started Sunday morning at 6am and were sudden, intense and with no break. I was given a patronising lecture about it will take hours and as a ftm I should stay home and have a bath. I didn’t listen and went to the Labour ward, Dc1 arrived minutes after at 6.59am.
Dc2 was similar but had been in hospital and needed waters breaking as they wouldn’t go, dc2 arrived 2 hours after contractions and seconds after waters. I had a retained placenta and needed surgery to remove.
Dc3 was an induction for slow growth and concerns about placenta function. Awful days on ward with propess that didn’t work. Ward was closed as so busy and no space on wards. After 4 days I threatened to leave as Dc3 was all over the place during monitoring. I had to run to the Labour ward as it was so busy. I had waters broken and drip inserted. Contractions started immediately and were excruciatingly painful without a break. No pain relief offered and blood pressure getting higher. I requested pain relief but it never came and 20 minutes later as midwives changed shift I needed to push. I was standing up as my bed was soaked from my waters. I was asked to wait 😫but couldn’t so climbed onto the bed, she literally flew out and DH caught her. She was 4lbs 10oz at 39+ weeks and was a little unwell so went to neonatal. I was in and out of hospital for weeks with post partum pre-eclampsia and spent 6 months on medication and have had elevated blood pressure ever since.
Dc4 was another induction after discovering he was a footling breech (turned) but stalled growth I reluctantly agreed to. I was very specific on arrival with the midwife and consultant and after a very long talk on admission agreed a birth plan that suited me and them. I had the propess and minimal monitoring. The propess did not start contractions despite walking & bouncing all the time. I agreed to an examination and was 7cms dilated but felt nothing so agreed to a sweep. That started contractions immediately and Dc4 was born 3 hours later after an active Labour with very little monitoring. The midwife was fab, sat in the corner and left me to it as requested but occasionally checking. It was my best Labour and despite my concerns calm & peaceful. All my Dc were tiny, 3 under 5lbs and Dc4 6lbs. I had no pain relief (have a high threshold) for any of my labours which was my choice except for Dc3, no tears. I did find that as I was classed as high risk the entire pregnancy was spent listening to midwives and consultants tell me that my only option was induction and were very forceful, insisting I couldn’t have active births which I found incredibly frustrating. I was initially frightened of labour and birth but after 4dc found it left me supercharged and empowered, I felt I could take on the world after (weeks in of sleepless nights and it soon went).

Sounds lovely....apart from the tear!

My birth was great actually although I know some people wouldn’t like how medicalised it was.

My waters broke but 24 hours after that my contractions still hadn’t started properly so I had an internal examination with gas and air. I hated gas and air as it spaced me out and the examination still hurt. They gave me the induction drip and I had the epidural put in at the same time. I went to sleep for about 5 hours and they checked me and said I was 3cm. They checked me an hour and a half later and I was 10 cm. Another hour after that I had my daughter. Apart from the internal examination there was no pain just a pressure so I knew when to push. It was great and I’d do it again tomorrow!

Induced at 38 weeks as DS was measuring 'big'. Taken in on Monday afternoon, three pessaries over next few days, (which were so painful I was off the bed screaming in pain each time) and nothing. Taken down to delivery on Wednesday early hours. Waters broken manually. Hooked up to drip. Horrendous pain. Tried gas and air which didn't cut it and quickly opted for epidural which kept slipping and had to be topped up. Peed myself at one point. Absolutely starving but forbidden from eating.

Laboured all day until time to push. Pushed for ages and nothing. Desperately wanted to move position from my back but couldn't due to epidural. Was taken to theatre for forceps but still nothing so given emergency c-section. DS born at 6.30pm weighing 9lbs 4oz. Couldn't hold him due to significant blood loss. Finally round to recovery. Kept in for 3 more nights. No milk came in so couldn't breastfeed. Was on verge of needing blood transfusion. Finally got home feeling shell shocked and like death.

I would never be induced again under those circumstances (though I've not been able to conceive again so won't be happening!)

First birth was rough. Waters went at just gone midnight, mec in waters so was induced. Had morphine and epidural. Baby became lethargic and wouldn't budge, talks of c section. Came out in the end at half 5pm with a 2nd degree tear. Slow to latch (1 week later after cup feeding).
So second time round I decided on a home birth so I wouldn't be tempted to have pain relief. Contractions started around 1am, bloody show at 6am and things really progressed quickly from then. Got in the bath to take the edge off, contractions were very bearable. Midwife came 8am, I was already 6cm. Bit of gas and air while I pushed, waters weren't breaking so got manually broken while pushing, baby came out at 11am on the dot in the bath. Was an amazing experience the second time round and I would do it all over again.

Breathing through the contractions helped SO much. Really conscious of slow deep breaths and focusing on that and not the pain. Pushing when your body needed to push and no other time helped too.

My ds is 18 and a strapping, gorgeous young man with a lovely girlfriend doing his A levels and looking forward to Uni in Sept.

My birth story, I was overweight and had high blood pressure at full term and my
Mum had pre-eclampsia with me. I was admitted to hospital to stabilise bp. On the day I was due to be sent home, they did an internal exam and advised I was 'ripe' and they thought I should be induced as there was no point sending me home. I think, in hindsight, this was a mistake but I went with it. I was desperate to have my baby and remember crying with excitement when the nurse told me to get my 'baby bundle' together as I would be seeing my baby later that day.

So what followed was a very slow induction, my waters were eventually broken (fine, nothing painful or uncomfortable), I was put on a drip to
Induce labour and eventually an epidural. Little progress sadly and eventually I ended up having an emergency caesarean. It was all absolutely fine except the epidural where they had trouble getting the needle in ( amazing Australian consultant saved the day) and they told me I might have to have a general anaesthetic for casaerean. I couldn't bear the thought of missing the arrival.

Eventually, I had my gorgeous boy and the recovery was far in excess of anything I had expected. I was up and about as soon as they took the catheter out and had minimal
Pain or discomfort.

Wishing you so much joy for your birth experience.

Yeah, you don’t really want mine.

@minipie I absolutely do if you did want to share it 💕.

Thanks everyone who's commented so far. Appreciate the advice along with all your personal stories ☺️.

First baby. Pre-eclampsia diagnosed at 36+1, hospital stay until induction at 37 weeks.

10am. Bishop score 0. Two lots of gel later, I'm just about 1cm. Should have really had a second round the next day, but they were desperate for women on the delivery suite that night. There was only one other woman when I went down at 1am. Monitoring for a couple of hours forst, then things can start.

3am. 1cm. ARM. Very unpleasant experience as needed a second midwife to push baby into my pelvis. Fortunately it was manageable with gas and air. No contractions, so the drip went on at 5am. Body very reluctant to labour, so the drip had to go up to the penultimate dose to get the 3 in 10, lasting one minute they wanted. Even then, contractions still weren't great. Baby really wasn't helping by repeatedly wriggling away from the monitoring.

11am. 5cm. Gas+air was no longer enough. Opted for diamorphine over an epidural, as I felt I had enough risk factors for an assisted delivery as it was (FTM, BMI, early induction). The diamorphine worked.... A little too well. I only have a few memories of the next 5 hours as I was sound asleep between contractions, and high as a kite during them. I kept forgetting which hand was holding the gas and air mouthpiece, and kept sucking on the fingers of my opposite hand instead. Midwife was a bit concerned about how out of it I was and my heart rate, but DH advocated for me that unless baby was distressed, I wouldn't want a C-section. So baby got a skull clip so they could be certain there was no distress. They also took the opportunity to max out the drip during this time, but apparently this caused me too much pain. Thankfully this is not a thing I remember.

4pm, 10cm. Diamorphine is thankfully wearing off and I'm lucid and coherent again. Drip is turned off, but the contractions die away without it, so it's put back on.

4.20pm. Pushing time! Except there's zero urge to push... So I just push when I feel contractions. Due to the diamorphine a second midwife will be required at birth in case baby is still affected and needs resuscitation.

4.40pm. Pushing is very effective, and baby is coming, ready or not! Second midwife is very hurriedly called in.

4.41pm (or 4.44pm depending on which bit of paperwork you read), 37+1, baby is here! No ring of fire. Placed onto my chest still on the cord. Apparently DH told me the sex, but I didn't hear him, so I ask what we have. We have a girl. DH declines cutting the cord, so I ask if I can do it. Which I do, despite DD doing her best to get her toes cut off as well. One of my truly cherished memories of the whole thing.

Injection for placenta is given, but the damn thing takes its sweet time coming out. Pretty sure it was 2 hours+ in the end. Really should have gone to theatre, but I was superseded by an emergency C-section, and it came out by itself in the end. Second degree tear takes a while to be stitched up, as my midwife isn't signed off yet, so an obstetrician came to do it.

After all that, I finally get my tea and toast at 9pm. 29 hours after the last time I ate. We try breastfeeding, but DD is too sleepy, so I hand express instead.

11pm. Postnatal ward. DH goes home. In a bay with 3 others. It's hot, but fortunately my neighbours aren't antisocial. I sleep, but wake often. Sometimes for BP checks, sometimes because holy crap I have a baby.

On postnatal for 2 days. Night 2 is the worst. DD will only sleep on me, and I am exhausted. Fall asleep more than once holding her.

At home, recovery lasted a few weeks. It was sore to pee for a while, but squirting warm water over the stitches while weeing massively helped. The first poo hurt more than pushing a baby out. Other than one palm sized clot (which had a small bit of membrane in it) bleeding was normal. Stitches healed nicely, and once DD's jaundice cleared up, feeding established well.

All in all, not bad. 10/10 would do again.

I'll write up DC2's birth another time.

I had a lifelong fear of birth. I just couldn’t imagine a human coming out of my hoo-haa being anything other than just sheer torture. I couldn’t fathom how anyone signed up for it. I’d then see friends, colleagues etc trail off one by one to have their baby, only to re-emerge weeks later with the most gruesome stories on earth. Some needing surgery at the time to repair the damage, others left permanently incontinent and needing surgery to correct it at a later date.

I had decided I wasn’t having a child because I just physically couldn’t go through it all. Not in a ‘nah I don’t fancy it’ kind of way, in a ‘not one ounce of my being would even allow me to enter into any of that’ kind of way. I didn’t have the broody thing at all that normal people seem to have then one day it just hit me and I want/needed a baby. I did soooo much research because despite how desperate for a baby I was, I still wasn’t willing to even attempt it if there was any chance I was going to be forced to do that!

I had it all planned out that I was getting a c-section. I had facts, figures, PowerPoints, graphs, you name it! I wasn’t actually thrilled about the being pregnant part either but knew I could just about cope with that as long as I didn’t just spontaneously go into labour at any point. It was the most tense 9 months of my life. I spent the entire time worrying. Jumped through all the hoops and eventually had my c-section approved. I’ve never felt a relief like it! Although I was then just waiting for it all to go wrong if my waters broke early. My date was set for 39+4 so I knew there was every chance I could go before that. I was so sure after a lifetime of worrying about it that there was no way it could all go to plan.

Miraculously, I made it to my date! Walked into theatre for my section. Winced as I got a cannula into my hand (even after he’d numbed it a bit first 😂). I had the built the spinal up to be horrific yet it was a complete non-event. I lay down on the bed and just felt so proud of myself for even entering into that situation. The curtain went up, within 90 seconds of the anesthetist at my head telling me that the operation had started, he was saying ‘they have a baby’ and I heard my little boy scream at the top of his lungs. A lifetime of worry of how traumatic and painful the whole thing was going to be, to give birth in the most ridiculously calm and pain-free way (apart from the cannula, ouch)! I was wheeled back round to recovery with him in my arms and my brain just couldn’t even work out how anyone would want to have a baby in a different way to that. It was so easy! People hate when anyone says a c-section is easy but to me that’s exactly how it was. Everyone loves to hit you with comments about how bad the recovery will be as well. The recovery was completely fine. After week 2 other than walking slowly I was totally fine again! None of it was painful, it was just annoying more than anything. I had the absolute best possible experience and would recommend it to anyone. I know not all sections go as amazingly as mine did but I can’t put into words how terrified I was for all those years, just to end up with a lovely experience like that.

Women should be able to give birth however they like with no judgement or need for any sort of justification to anyone else. Their baby, their body, their choice how it’s coming out!! 😊

1st - waters broke and start stop contractions for 24hours, meaning I had to be admitted and go on the drip (which is torture) continuous monitoring and back to back baby with the drip made me beg for the epidural. However epidural didn't work!! 14 hours later I pushed twice but Dr decided I was too exhausted and despite me saying no did an assisted delivery. They turned baby with vontouse and then did epi and forceps. Baby was born flat and had to be resuscitate, emergency button pressed for her and then as the placenta delivered I had a large pph (over 2ltrs) so button pressed again for me. It took 20mins before someone told me she was ok, and for them to control my bleeding. I had sepsis and baby had to go on antibiotics. Bf was difficult to establish and I generally just felt traumatised for months.

2nd baby - after the drama of my first, I booked in for an elcs, 5am on the morning I started with cramps and by the time I arrived at the hospital at 8.30am I was contracting 3 in 10, consultant pushed me to try and labour naturally as I was Terrified. I agreed to see how things went until it was my turn in theatre, 2 hours later I had a very calm water birth. I was still shocked as was expecting an elcs but baby was perfect, feeding was easy and I was discharged a few hours later one baby had her checks.

I'm pregnant again and planning a VB so despite how awful my first birth was I guess it shows that it's true what they say, babies are worth it and as long as your both ok at the end of it that's all that really matters.

I've been following the naked doula on insta, trying to retrain my brain a bit and learn some new techniques x

I had two quick straightforward labours. With the first I had gas and air, which made no difference to the pain, but at least the baby was born within a couple of hours of my arrival at hospital. DS2 was born within 45 minutes of my arrival at hospital😬 I thought I was going to give birth in the lift. Birth plans, sketchy as they were, went out the window both times. Quick labours seem to be a theme in my family. My sister and my cousin never made it to hospital.

So, my only advice would be to try not to get too fixated on your birth plan!

Ive had 3 births, 2 were positive experiences, 1 was not.

1st - induced at 40+3 due to repeated reduced movements. Pessary started off labour which started as cramping which got increasingly painful. Started off using a tens machine which helped a little. When I was in active labour and admitted to a labour suite I had gas and air but I was not coping with the pain and I asked for pethidine and then an epidural. Things were better once the epidural was working but just very slow and obviously couldn’t move due to epidural so spend all day in bed waiting for me to become dilated enough. 24 hours later I’d reached 10cm and was time for pushing. Pushing was not effective and after 1 hour I was transferred to theatre for an assisted delivery. When I got there the theatre team had to go to an emergency (apparently someone having a home birth had had a heart attack in labour) so I was left in the theatre on a trolley for 2 hours. Finally they came back and my son was delivered by forceps. I then had a massive pph and lost 2.5 litres of blood. I was in a very bad way and had to have several transfusions. Recovery was very painful, I’d had an episiotomy and was very swollen from all the pushing and delivery. I was very out of it due to all the blood loss. Mentally the recovery was also very hard as I had ptsd from what had happened and struggled to bond with my baby. We got there eventually and I recovered with therapy and time.

2nd delivery - induced at 41+2. I’d been having sweeps to start things off. I went in for one and they asked how his movements had been that day and I had been really busy and said I’d not actually felt him move that much. They sent me for monitoring and that came back as fine but they said due to me being overdue they would recommend I stay in and be induced as a precaution. I said ok and someone came to do a sweep to see if that would start things off and they discovered I was already 4cm dilated at that point (had had on and off not painful contractions for a few days so must have already been in early labour) so all they had to do was break my waters. The contractions came very fast, very close together. It was stressful for me due to my history and how fast it was. The contractions were basically non stop, a few seconds between them which made it intense for me as there was no time to recover between them. I had gas and air and had just had an epidural when I felt the need to push so got no benefit from it! He was born 1.5 hours after my waters were broken so it was over quickly. I didn’t feel in control of the pushing, my body took over and pushed him out in literally about 2 pushes. No blood loss thankfully. I had a second degree tear but the recovery was very easy compared to an episiotomy.

3rd birth - spontaneous at 39+1. Waters broke out of nowhere and took me by surprise at 10.45pm. Contractions started about 2am. Went in to hospital at 4.30am. Due to history of previous fast labour and pph they wanted me to come in. Had an examination and was not yet dilated at all which was a bit disheartening as I’d been having contractions and hoped I’d be a bit further along. They told me to walk around so I did a lot of walking in the corridors breathing through the contractions. By about 8am the contractions were coming closer together and getting more painful. I asked to be examined again and I was 5cm. They took me to a delivery suite and I had gas and air as the pain was getting harder to cope with. It went very quick from that point and she was born about 15 mins later. Was more in control of pushing this time and got her out in a few pushes. Had a second degree tear again and part of the episiotomy from the first delivery had opened. Again, thankfully no pph. Recovery was a little more sore than the second one but ok really. Currently have my little 4 week old daughter sleeping on my chest and she is well worth it.

Second birth

Pre-eclampsia again. Was picked up at 34 weeks, but hospital didn't act on it until 36 weeks. Admitted at 36+2, baby is also breech. Was supposed to have an ECV, but was told at 36+5 that pre-eclampsia is a contraindication to having one. Having had confirmation that the ECV could still go ahead from every doctor up until now, I am very upset. I really don't want an elective section. I'm not one for birth plans (I work in emergency obstetric theatres - nobody has us as part of their plan), but I'd gone from having a completely normal pregnancy, to having a breech baby, to having pre-eclampsia (again), to finding out I now have no choice but to have an elective section, which is far and away my least wanted mode of birth? Yeah. I cried.

Fortunately baby turned that night, so induction was started at 37+1. Baby was very high, so balloon contraindicated, so had gel instead. One gel got me to 2cm, so just had to wait for delivery suite to have space. I waited for 4 days. Got the go ahead to call in DH, and continue having this baby.

Get to delivery suite at 8am. As expected, first monitoring. Then ARM, and a bit of waiting (only 1 hour this time as not FTM). Body still has no idea how to go into labour by itself, so on with the drip. Get to the max dose this time, moving around, trying different positions and coping ok on gas and air. However, progress is very slow. 2cm at ARM, 3 after first check, 4 at the next. Baby gets a skull clip. By this point, I'm struggling. I've been on the drip for nearly 10 hours, and the adage that second babies come quicker and easier is being proven very false. When the midwife is doing handover outside the room, I breakdown and sob to DH that I can't do this. Midwives come back in, and I beg for a check, as I need either an epidural or meptid. I'm just about 5cm. Epidural it is. Since it's handover, and there's already a queue, I might have bit of a wait. So the drip is turned off. Except my body has finally realised how to labour without the drip, so the contractions continue anyway.

10pm rolls around, and I get my epidural. I still wouldn't go for one straight away, but I have no idea why I was so wary of them. That blessed relief as the coolness washed down my legs.... Made up for the local anaesthetic not really working, so I could feel some sharpness in my back. Manageable with gas+air at least. I still have full use of my legs too.

The drip stays off for 2 hours in the hope of some passive descent (baby has been high at each exam so far). It's then put back on for an hour to see if I now make any progress. I sleep through all this. However, I'm still only 5cm once I'm checked, and baby is starting to have some decelerations. The towel is thrown in. I'm done. I've tried all I can, but this baby is destined to come out the sun roof.

2am theatre. I'm very bemused to be the one on the table. Epidural is topped up, but the adequate level of numbness is slow to rise. I can still move my feet when the drapes go up. DH finally makes an appearance. They'd given him size 7 surgical clogs to wear on his size 11 feet. The delay was trying to find footwear that fit. Fortunately (for him) he made it in before baby was extracted, the drapes were dropped, and I announce what we have. It's a boy! While I'm being stitched up I get a glimpse of the placenta (I regretted not seeing DD's), and I'm told that baby was deflexed OP (back to back with head tilted backwards). Explains why he was so high, progress was so slow, and why I'd had the urge to push at times, even though I wasn't anywhere near fully dilated. He was never coming out vaginally. I finally get to hold him when I'm transferred to my new bed. Skin to skin wasn't offered, and I didn't think to ask. DH got to hold him up until then.

Spend most of the rest of the day in recovery due to lack of beds on postnatal. Catheter comes out the following morning. Pee and poop just fine afterwards. Pain is less than expected, and easily managed with regular pain killers. Neighbours are a bit more antisocial this time. One baby objected strenuously to having been born all night long, both nights. Her poor mother was doing her best, but her DD was not having it. Another of my neighbours had been on antenatal with me. And was still bitterly complaining about how long she'd been in hospital. Little realising I'd already been in a week before she even arrived..... I kept quiet.

13 days from admission I finally got to go home. DS was jaundiced, not enough to need treatment thankfully, but he was very sleepy, and feeding was tough to get established. Fortunately DD went to spend a week with my sister the day after I got home. Baby blues, having to express endlessly, recovering from a C-section, and looking after a newborn would have been too much if I'd also had to look after a toddler at the same time.

Recovery pain wise has been fine. I stopped regularly taking painkillers within a few days, and no longer needed them at all after 2-3 weeks. The wound though.... I'm coming up 12 weeks now, and it's still not fully healed. I've had 3 courses of antibiotics, and a couple of dressings. Urgh.

Written down it sounds awful. But I was honestly ok with it. I didn't want to have a caesarean, but as I'd tried everything, all I felt was a calm acceptance. DH, bless him, tried to advocate for me, but I stopped him. I know the drill, and keeping trying would only result in DS getting more distressed. It was the right call, and I'm so glad I at least got to try to have him vaginally. If I go on to have a third, I will certainly be opting for a VBAC.

My labour was slow and erratic. DD was a bit big for me and back to back.

I found the latent phase of labour the hardest. After 12 hours, a hospital midwife told me over the phone that my contractions weren’t frequent enough for me to be admitted. I cried!

After 14.5 hours, I was finally admitted to a delivery room and was lucky enough to have access to a birthing pool. I felt so much more comfortable in the pool and it was good knowing that other painkillers were available.

I was surprised by how painful the midwife’s cervical examinations were. Gas and air made them much more bearable. In the end, the midwife broke my waters to speed things up, which ramped up my contractions a great deal.

Time became very blurred as the hours went on. My contractions became much longer and l had a shot of diamorphine. I was examined and had reached 8cm. When I should have reached 10cm, I was examined again. I was still at 8cm. I cried a tiny bit, but not as much as I did in the latent phase. A doctor came to talk to me
and I was so tired, I saw her as having three eyes and two mouths.

I had an emergency c-section and it was fine. I fell asleep soon after the birth and woke up on the ward hours later, with DD fast asleep in a cot next to me.