epidural for first, should I go natural for 2nd? any experiences gratefully heard!

[Gemzooks]

I'm pg with 2nd baby, first one I had a mobile epi which didn't work that well but enabled me to push (I felt loads of pain from contractions but none from crowning). I am one of life's cowards.. The labour was also 3 days and DS was back to back.

So with number 2, I know the odds are it'll be quicker (unless it's back to back again), can anyone reassure me that you can get through it without an epi? My fear is that the contraction pain I had with the epi, where I thought it wasn't working, was still nothing compared to what it would be like without the epi (and I was really bellowing with pain)..

any experiences gratefully received as I just moved to Holland where they are very anti epidural, and need to decide whether to go over the border to Belgium for the birth...

I have had 2 children with no epidural but very fortunately 2 quite short labours first was 8 hrs and the second 5 hrs. I just managed on gas and air and sitting in a really hot bath during the very early stages of contractions. I am an absolute wimp - believe me I faint at the sight of needles and think a headache could be a tumour and I survived by breathing well and squeezing DH hand a lot and having a very calming midwife. If I can do it anyone can!

I had long arduous labour with DS (my first) and he was also back to back. I had an epidural too.
With DD however, I had a home water birth and I made do with about 2 puffs of gas and air and it was fine. Truly. And she was bigger than DS

Please have epidural i had 2 x 9lb 10 babies one with epidural went on forever. 2nd natural !!!! thought well, listened to all the tales be quicker! load of rubbish, no medals for being brave. still have flashbacks if being honest but have fond memories of first birth and nightmares of 2nd. Then i did have large babies and had to have some sort of drug to help me contract. good luck do what is right for you. yes i have been drinking' so you are really getting it very honest!!! hindsight leave off going to hospital for as long as possible. bath sounds good idea. good luck.

I had a mobile epidural for my first labour and delivery which worked fine.

For my second labour i went for a water birth (allegely? water is the 2nd best form of pain relief so thought i'd give it a whirl). For me it was amazing! I also had a mw who stayed with me throughout (4hrs) and talked me through each contraction. She was the difference as she stopped me losing control.

i tried bath whilst waiting for pool. I wasn't happy as i was too restricted ( i wanted my legs straight out behind me while labouring which didn't happen the first time) and i didn't like the fact that in the bath i couldn't cover my bump with water (which i also had a huge urge to do).
dd was 9lb 6oz.

Didn't hurt till the pushing out bit!

I had 2 very long labours (by which I mean several days). I opted for an epidural with the first and wanted one with the second too (once I was too tired to deal with the pain). However I didn't get one 2nd time round because the anaesthetist was `busy'. It was hell! I would go somewhere where you can have an epidural if you feel you need one.

I had a full on epi with no. 1. Turns out, the labour was so painful because she was face up and had her hand up by her ear.

I had the epi at 4cm dilation because I was in a lot of pain.

A consultant was called in after 1.5 hours of pushing and the epi maxed out so she could get DD1 out with forceps.

As a result, I didn't realise how it felt to be really far along.

My labour with DD2 turned out to be a lot quicker. And luckily MIL had two drug free births and could recognise this, because we were waiting for the community midwife to phone us back when she came to look after dd1 and urged us just to go to hospital.

I was 9cm upon arrival.

It all felt really, really anal for me. In fact, I kept saying I knew what it felt like to be disembowelled.

But the midwives assured me it was all from baby's head.

It was too late for any pain relief but G&A, which made me feel sick.

She was born about 20 minutes after arrival.

Although the recovery was FAR easier than the forceps delivery, I'd have to say, if you want the epi, go for it.

I wish I'd got there in time for relief.

With my 2nd child I had an epidural it failed, and I was having a c section and could feel them CUTTING me. So, I have no faith in them, (strange that!)

I had an epi fail once for knee surgery. So I make sure every anaesthetist who's going to work on me is aware of that.

That was actually what made me go for the general the last time I had an op.

Empathies, cotton, I've been there!

I had an epidural with DS1 - I had been induced and in labour for more than 24 hours. TBH, I was so glad to get him out, I didn't really think about the epidural bit! DH tells me that I went from being completely incoherent, screaming in pain to sitting up and asking for the paper to read!

DS2 was born 19 months later after a 2 hour labour with nothing but a TENS for pain relief.

Just see how things go - your second one may be completely different!

I had an epidural with DS1, and screemed for requested one with DS2, but anethetist refused as I couldn't kepp still for long enough. I used hypnobirthidng with DD, which really worked.. there are a few threads on MN about it.

Had an epidural first time with DD. Was a v slow moving labour though, and I think the epi slowed it further. DD was born by ventouse in the end and an episiotomy was required and thus stitches etc.

Second time around I really didnt want the epi to slow things and was determined to cope on g & a. I figured the labour would be somewhat quicker 2nd time around anyway.

I managed - although at (what I now know to be) transition I went through a crisis of doubt and was begging for pain relief but it was too late! I was given a dose of meptid (lighter form of pethidine) but it really didnt do anything.

I have to say, once I started pushing, I didnt notice pain. The only thing was the intense discomfort - as expat described - and like I was ridiculously constipated.

As it happened - DS got stuck with his eyes and nose out and contractions went for a few minutes! But I didnt feel pain as such - just the constipated sensation.

MUCH better without, for me. And I was able to get up and walk around straight away, only a graze - no stitches etc.

My first was natural, second I had an epidural. When discussing with my doctor in pregnancy, I said "I know I can do it without pain relief" and she said (having had two children herself) "but do you WANT to?!"
The epidural was the best thing ever! It was a mobile one though so I did know when to push; it wasn't painless but the full-on birth without the epi would have been horrendous.

I had an epi with my first - he was back to back and I got 'stuck' at 9.5cm and was just shouting to be allowed to push - it was wonderful!

Just found out that no. 2 (due in 3 weeks) is also OP. I'm just going to try and stay mobile and see how things go - would like to avoid another epidural but it does depend on how long it all takes and how much it hurts.

If you don't need to decide now, why not wait and see?

thanks for all the responses! The main decision will probably be either a) give birth in Holland where it is not possible to get the epidural very easily (never on demand, only if it is officially a difficult labour etc, only 2 hospitals in Amsterdam give it 24 hours a day to women in labour (as if the baby is only going to come during office hours), or to go to Belgium where you can, but then it's less convenient.. I will try without, but scared of being in a position where I can't get it if I need it, if you see what I mean...

i fail to understand natural births. it is perfectly natural for me to avoid as much pain as possible

I had a very similar experience with my first birth - an epidural that didn't work very well. For some reason I've still not been able to work out, I decided on a home birth for my second. Which was, as it turned out, quite marvellous.

I am convinced my epi first time stopped my labour, as did being stuck in bed, on a drip, with no moving for hours.

second baby, OP, established labour 3 1/4 hours, gas & air, a small dose of pethidine, and much , much better. was mobile for the 15 hours of latent labour, which got baby in a better position..no pain relief for that ,

you could use TENS, water, massage, g&a for pain releif and if narcotic pain relief is available, you can consider that too, and hypnobirthing

look into things like optimal foetal positioning to try to get baby into a good position for birth, stay mobile, upright and active, make sure your bladder and bowels are emptied regualrly, eat and drink lightly to keep up your energy levels...

epidural has it's benefits, but negatives too...if it is difficult to get one, focus on other ways of managing the pain

Agree Lulu. I think it was the excessive intervention I had that caused my problems giving birth to DD.

With DS I wanted as little intervention as possible, and, it turned out to be a much better birth, and I didnt feel so rough after. Plus I could get up and walk around straight after too.

Gosh lots of views on this one.

I would say try not to be scared. every labour is different. My first included an epi which was bliss when the pain went, but my second and third were natural vaginals with just gas and air (and the third was induced which I didn't like). The gas and air worked for me, but not in second stage. I was determined to avoid the c section I had with birth one so didn't plan for any pain relief beyond gas and air and knowing that that would be it made me have confidence in it, so I didn't ask for anything else and just got on with it. the second labour was my best.The third was frantic in places and the dilation FAST so enormous shocking 'pain' for short time.

I was 12 hours with no. 2 and 4 hours with no. 3 (after induction) and could cope with the gas and air.

The epidural with birth no. 1 gave me real headache problem in theatre for the c section after the baby was out, was really scarey, but then I had high blood pressure too. I felt so much more in control with the gas and air.

GOOD LUCK. Don't be scared.

i had long labour but just opted for gas and air do what you feel you will be able to cope with

many of us have different views so just do what you think best i'm glad i went natural as although painful i was glad to experience it but my pain fresh hold was quite strong at that point as had kidney infection and had been like that for 4 days in pain so had got used to it

Well, you ask if you'd be able to get through it, and the answer is of course, yes, because hundreds of thousands of women do give birth without epidurals! I had 2 VBs on gas and air, and a cs with epidural. I would strongly recommend trying without if possible, because an epi does increase the risk of forceps etc. Also, 2nd labours are usually shorter and easier because your body has done it all once before. I have quite a few friends who had epis with their first baby but were able to manage the 2nd without. So the chances are you'll be fine.

Have you any idea what the midwives in either setting are like?

I had an epi for DS's birth, didn't regret it at the time but do in hindsight, mainly because I was offered no help or support by the midwife or student who were with me, so felt I was never given an alternative way of doing things (ie suffer this pain - we have no help to give you - or have an epidural).

If you think you will be offered no other help with positioning, activity etc, I'd say go for the epi. But if you have decent support from anyone, I'd really try to manage in other ways because the epi slows things down, makes it all very medical, and means you never know how it feels to go through the whole process (or am I wierd for wanting that?)

just an update on this thread..

found out that if you have a homebirth here (netherlands), the midwife comes to check you but only stays with you for the rest of the birth once you're 7 cm. Not keen on this as 7 cm is already at mad crazy pain stage. Do you think I should try to get a doula who will stay with me, or will this just annoy the midwife?

oh, if anyone's wondering why I didn't already have the baby, I m/c that baby end of Feb at 13 weeks , but now pg again (17 weeks)...