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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Birth nerves- hand hold

22 replies

JulyDreams · 22/05/2022 19:35

Hi all

Hoping someone can help. I've got some serious 'birth nerves'.

Dare I dare .... is it that bad? Im currently 32 weeks pregnant and due to put together my birth 'plan' in a couple of weeks at my next midwife appointment. There is a chance I may not be able to have the epidural due to a curved spine but yet to be confirmed. Im going to try other payment reliefs options.

What about a tens machine?

OP posts:
Original poster
JulyDreams · 22/05/2022 19:37

My biggest fear is being in so much pain I can't do anything about it. I've just heard so many horror stories of the dreaded contractions.... Sad I just keep telling myself it will be worth it.

OP posts:
BringbackSecretchocolatebar · 22/05/2022 19:42

It's bad but at the same time not that bad! You're right in saying it's all worth it, obt worry, youll be fine!

BringbackSecretchocolatebar · 22/05/2022 19:42

Don't worry!

Original poster
JulyDreams · 22/05/2022 19:43

Thanks @BringbackSecretchocolatebar soon as I've hit 30 weeks I'm worrying a lot now, sort of starting to hit me!! It's the not knowing as well. I'm wondering if I'll be in labour for days for hours.

OP posts:
User3568975431146 · 22/05/2022 19:48

It's honestly not that bad. People go on about however many days/ weeks they're in labour and they're not. Midwives don't start counting until labour is actually established.

Your body knows what to do, don't worry about a birth plan, chances are it'll go out of the window when you're in labour anyway 😋

wonderstuff · 22/05/2022 19:52

It’s fine, it does smart a bit, but it’s such an amazing experience. I find getting a filling more traumatic (although I do have a bit of a dentist phobia). After my first was born I thought this must be what running a marathon feels like, I felt utterly exhausted and ached all over, but the adrenaline rush was amazing.

For me I felt prepared for it and confident which I do think helped. I had pethidine with my first which was amazing and took the edge off the pain considerably but I was quite spaced out. With my second just gas and air which really helped up to transition, then really didn’t touch the pain, but I wasn’t in extreme pain for long and it really wasn’t too awful.

Felt incredibly empowering to produce an actual human baby!

MintJulia · 22/05/2022 19:55

Don't worry OP, by the time labour starts you will be so keen to not be pregnant anymore that you will welcome it.

I used a tens machine and it worked fine until quite close to birth. Think about what else you might use as a backup just in case you need a bit more support.

Good luck xx

NearlyHeadlessNick · 22/05/2022 19:56

You will be absolutely fine.

If you're unable to have an epidural, have you thought about a birthing pool?
For DC1 I laboured in the water from about 5/6cms and it was brilliant. Couldn't wait to get back in when I had to get out for examination. Had baby in the water and (in comparison with DC2) didn't feel the crowning as much despite him being over a pound heavier.
For DC2 I had a hot bath from early labour, watching TV on my phone, it was fabulous. Only got out to go to the hospital and had baby about 10 mins after arriving so no time for a water birth.

morebiscuitslessdrama · 22/05/2022 20:02

My first born was born back in September, I went into the whole experience with the knowledge that yes it’s probably going to be a bit painful as your giving birth to a baby. But I did it with no pain relief, no hand holding and really focused on the pain being a step towards holding my baby boy.

I recommend hypnobirthing particularly the breathing techniques, next I would watch some antenatal videos about what actually happens in your body aka hormones, chemicals and why you shouldn’t freak out as basically we are made and engineered to produce and birth babies so don’t think that the people who will be on that labour ward don’t see or help women doing this every minute of everyday!!!

YOU GOT THIS MUMMA!!! believe in yourself ✌

lovesT · 22/05/2022 21:11

I had my daughter a bit over 2 years ago and am currently pregnant so am obviously willing to do it again 😅 the contractions were painful, yes but all I was was 2 paracetamol and a tens machine until I got into the birth pool then was just gad and air the whole way. If I'm being honest the bit I remember being most difficult for me was when she was actually coming out "crowning" as they say, BUT this doesn't last long and you can't definitely do it, you CAN do it. I would highly recommend doing a Hypno birthing course like the positive birth company or something like that. I think it will help a lot. All the best!!

MummyT13 · 22/05/2022 21:18

@JulyDreams I used a Tens machine and it got me to 7cm. I think learning the breathing techniques etc does help. I had no pain relief with my first but my second I had gas & air but I was induced for that one so found it a lot more painful 🤷🏻‍♀️

But I'm also pregnant again sooooo.. I'm willing to do it 3 times so definitely weren't that bad. X

MintTeaLady · 22/05/2022 21:25

Have you looked into Hypnobirthing? Having the knowledge of what’s happening to your body during labour is really helpful.

Original poster
JulyDreams · 22/05/2022 21:28

Thank you so much everyone Brew

OP posts:
HSKAT · 22/05/2022 21:29

Yes it hurts, would I do it again tomorrow? 100%.
As pp a filing at the dentist is more traumatic for me too!
When your in established labour something just comes over you and you get through it.

Original poster
JulyDreams · 22/05/2022 21:32

Not looked into hypnotherapy.
Isn't it just breathing techniques? If it's worth doing I will give it a go.

Seriously considering the birthing pool yes as not (planning on) going down the epidural route. Hoping that will help and gas and air.

The tens machine I will look into also x

OP posts:
SeaToSki · 22/05/2022 21:36

I have given birth to four babies, sometimes the epidural worked, sometimes it didnt. Yes it hurts, but the adrenalin carries you through and I have had period pains be worse as they dont stop and labor pains give you a break in between each one

One tip, every time between now and giving birth, when you poop, really think about which muscles you use to push the poop out. Its the exact same muscles you use to push the baby out. So when you get to the pushing stage, if you can just imagine you are pooping and engage those muscles, your LO will zoom out!

lovesT · 23/05/2022 07:42

@Julydreams it's breathing but also telling you what your body is doing at each stage which is really helpful. I can't remember what else but definitely found it helpful. I did the positive birth company which was online and not very expensive x

MintTeaLady · 23/05/2022 12:34

@JulyDreams it’s more than breathing techniques for sure. The positive birth company offer a cheap online course that would be good to start with. The advice above about thinking about a poo is so relevant too!

RedRobyn2021 · 23/05/2022 15:14

Hypnobirthing is worth it. It's so hard to explain it because it is painful but it's not like having someone stab you or when you stub your toe, it's the muscles in your body working to birth your baby.

I really recommend doing some kind of birthing course, I did the one with the positive birthing company and found it helpful, but there is one with a company called Birth-Ed which is meant to be really really good. They also have a fantastic podcast which has just started a series 2.

I am one of those people that just turns up to stuff and kind of wings in, but when I got into my third trimester, I really really tried to do as much as I could to have a good experience. It's worth leaning more so you can make informed choices.

Zibidee · 23/05/2022 18:44

I used Tens machine last week for labour and highly recommend it, although after a certain point it started annoying my back.
I was induced and the pain all these posters describe sounds like a dream compared to my extricating stabbing agony pains I got from the second pessary. So had epidural. But I am convinced this was due to chemical interventions rather than normal contractions.
I would've loved to use water but wasn't allowed, go for that if you can. And I did lots of counting, I worked out each one lasted 30sec of difficult pain so counted down from 30 once the pain got difficult. Then it moved to 10 sec of hard pain, 10sec of unbearable pain, 20sec of mild pain. So I counted up to 20, down from 20. My partner did it with me, really helped be focus and feel the end point.
Also randomly, in early stages, I thought of stroking my dog and this reduced my pain a lot! Endorphins!

Whhhhaaathe · 24/05/2022 08:01

I had my first baby last year and I’m now pregnant with no 2 - I managed to get to 8cm before I went to hospital and then had gas and air and used the birthing pool. The best advice I can give is to control your breathing - I did a hypnobirthing course online called the positive birth company and it really helped me understand what was happing to my body and like I said the breathing is just so important to keep you calm and it gives you something to focus on. Don’t worry and you get the best reward

calliopea · 29/05/2022 18:19

Hypnobirthing is worth it.

If you're not in the financial position then 'the hypnobirthing podcast' is so full of info!

Contractions are interesting, hard to explain, pain isn't really the right word, they're just very intense!

You'll be fine.

I had a water birth which was great, I used gas&air and honestly I was absolutely off my face (in a good way) so that was plenty for me!

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