C-section for non-medical reasons but for vaginismus

[K2012]

Hi ladies

Need some advice as I’m shit it now 😬
Having an elective c-section in 3 days.

It’s my first pregnancy and I suffer with severe vaginismus. From the beginning I always hoped I would be able to have an elective c-section as I was dreading giving birth vaginally as just the thought of it caused me too much stress and anxiety.
Met with a male consultant (not the consultant I normally see) at week 32 as I had a scan done and he said he thinks I should go for vaginal birth as there’s no medical indication for a c-section (baby isn’t breech, big, I don’t have diabetes or any other health issues etc.) and said I can have epidural when I’m 3cm open and won’t feel anything down there after the epidural and I can refuse internal exams by the midwifes. I said I do believe that midwifes need to do their job and check how much you have dilated etc. and it’s causing me stress to even think about vaginal birth so he said go home and think about it and we’ll meet again at week 36.
At week 36 I met with a female registrar/consultant who had no issues with referring me for a c-section and just went through the operation, risks etc.

Now it’s getting closer and closer and I’m basically shit it and afraid something’s bad is gonna happen during the operation or after as there’s not really a medical reason for my c-section. I’ve been reading about your uterus can rupture, infection in the wound, you can have your uterus removed after , your intestines and bladder can stop working, you can have a hemorrhage etc. I know chances are so small but can’t stop thinking about it so just wanted to ask for some advice for those who’ve had c-sections due to non-medical reasons and how it all went?

Thank you for reading 🙌🏻

I’ve had 2 sections by maternal request. I had mine privately and it was just a case of how do you want to deliver, so I said section and that was that. Whilst they obviously have to make you aware of the risks, it was done in a very tick box sort of way. It was honestly great. It was all very relaxed, sure I felt sore afterwards but it was genuinely never painful. I had mine early morning and by mid afternoon I was up walking to the loo myself with no issues. Babies both happy and healthy.

I had two planned c sections and they were both very straightforward and enjoyable deliveries. There are risks in all surgery (as with natural births) so I'd try to keep them in perspective.

I would go as far as to say I almost enjoyed my section. It was initially elective (was told at 26 weeks I wouldn't be allowed to go past 40 weeks) but in the end was the only option due to my baby being too small to tolerate induction. Point being, I enjoyed it! It was calm, controlled and stress free. Exactly what I wanted. Try to relax OP, they do these several times a day and you'll be fine. Make sure you listen to the after care advise and take it easy though. Good luck!

Thank you so much @RandomQuest @lop32 and @lucea87 for the replies 👍🏻

vaginisms is a medical condition !
a very distressing psychological / physical condition
therefore I would say you are have a C section due to your medical condition not a
c section without medical condition -
best wishes

You have a valid (medical) reason for requesting a c section. No, they aren't without risks, and both of mine involved a va after the spinal block before incision was made (plus pain killing rectal suppository afterwards). I wouldn't want to be induced without agreeing to a va either, I have no idea how a potentially instrumental birth could happen without them.
I hope it goes well OP.

Forgive my ignorance but how did you get pregnant with vaginismus. I thought this condition made sex impossible .

Just to add that planned caesareans have a different atmosphere to emergency ones. It's slow and very calm. Mine was for medical reasons but it was a really nice experience both times. With the second, I was home the next day.

I also have plenty of friends who've had emergency c-sections and none of the complications you've listed. No doubt they exist but you'd be very unlucky.

Honestly, try not to worry. Ultimately there's nothing you really have to do but lie back and the surgeon does the rest (credit to those that have had days of painful labour, you have my total respect).

My first section was done for medical reasons (breech baby) and there were complications.
I have then gone on to have 2 more sections which were maternal request and all went smoothly! So basically the reason for the section won't have a bearing on how the operation goes, it's just luck of the draw and the odds are massively in your favour.

I had a planned section. It was for breech but I was quite happy to have a section. It was a nice experience to be honest. I didn’t have any complications. Risks are there with any way you give birth.

If you want a section you can have one for any reason, and don’t let them palm you off. My planned section was the best experience of my life, had a speedy recovery, and would definitely do it again.

Go for the elective section, stand your ground. Vaginal births can have a lot of problems too. If you’re anxious/ scared going into a vagi al delivery there is a higher chance it may not progress as well and you could end up with an emergency section/ intervention anyway. I had a vaginal birth (with lots of problems) and regret “giving it a go”

@Cinnabomb I double this! Just went through this last week and spent 3 days being induced and all the vaginal exams that entails and each one was agony and trebbled my fear of the actual birth. In the end I had epidural due to extruciating hip pain and couldn't feel to push enough and ended up with ventouse and episiotomy which tore further.
I know now, never again, if I want more children it's csection or no baby.

Hi op, I know it’s been a while but in a similar position as you. What did you decide at the end?

Good morning everyone. Thank you for all the replies.. I totally forgot to write in this topic as I actually had an emergency c-section the day after I started this topic. Long story short c-section and recovery went well 🙏🏻 Baby is now 8 months old 🙏🏻

@Kardelen I was planned for an elective section but had an emergency c-section 2 days before the planned one. How many weeks are you?

Aw bless you. I’m glad everything went well after though. I’m 36/37 weeks and dreading

I had one emergency and one elected c-section. Honestly, loved them both. Such a nice civilized way to have a baby . You don’t start off motherhood tired, you get a couple of days to rest in hospital, the painkillers mean you have no pain. Recovery is straightforward.

I. know plenty of women with terrible vaginal birth stories.

I had planned a vaginal, natural hypnobirth, but honestly, my emergency C was such a positive experience I decided to go for an elected C for my second.

Just take ear plugs and a night mask to the ward to sleep at night. That’s my advice : )

I've had two emergency sections which presumably are more risky than planned ones (there were 18 minutes between them deciding to do a section and baby being born/actually out of me, including the time it took to get me from the delivery room to theatre and put me under a general anaesthetic). No complications at all. You'll be fine. They have to set out the risks but its actually generally very safe, try not to worry x

@Kardelen what have you decided?

I have it and thought I would be able to manage an induction. I think the antenatal classes tried to influence me that a bit of breathing would cover it. It wasn't nice. A planned section with my second was a much nicer experience.

I’m actually still very confused. It sounds really appealing to go on a selected day and have the baby, where everything is all planned. But then I’m worried about the stigma attached to all this too, I know people are going to talk about me

You will have people judging you for anything you do in motherhood! There are reasons not to go down the c-section route but don't let the reason be what other people think.

I had a planned c-section a month ago and some people made comments but I honestly think they made them partly out of jealousy as they had quite traumatic vaginal births. I loved every moment of my baby being born. It was a very relaxing birth and my recovery has been going well so far.

It is your body though so do what you want and what you feel comfortable with.

@Kardelen have you had your baby?

Hi! I did. I was having contractions and called the delivery suite and the midwife was very abrupt telling me I can’t have the epidural. So I just stayed at home and wished I don’t have to attend while she’s in shift. In the morning when I went I was a bit late! Nearly had the baby in the corridor 😅
Was too late for any pain relief.

@Kardelen Congratulations on your baby 😁 Boy or girl?