lulumama?

[Susiemj]

please excuse typing - babe in arms!

I just read on another thread that you have an interest in VBAC which has made me think you might be able to answer a question of mine.

i had my 1st baby by emergency c-section 10 days ago. everything fab with babe

BUT I during th op they had to be quite rough with my insides and I've had a lot of pain since. I mean A LOT. this has meant that the afterpains have been awful.

this has now made me terrified of vaginal birth. i wasn't at all before but now i think that if i can't even take the fter pains, how will i cope with labour pain?

are my after pains only so painful because of the c-section or am i a complete wuss who can't take pain and should give up on the idea of a vbac?

i've never been in pain before so i really don't have anything to measure this by.

hope you don't mind the ask. thanks.

Not Lulumama, but just wanted to say that you simply can't compare the kind of pain that you have after a C-section to the pain you may experience in labour.

YOu could always go for VBAC but when you feel you can't cope anymore there is always an option to change your mind.

Also, this certainly was generally true for me, it can make it easier to deal with labourpain, because it's a pain that is productive and at teh end of the pain you will hold somehting rather special in your arms...!

Anyway, hopefully Lulumama will come on soon...but at least the messege is getting bumped!

3andnomore - do you mean labour pain is worse or better than a c-section? or just different?

Congratulations susiemj!

was your baby in an awkward position? if so, that can make getting baby out harder on you.. so that could be a reason.

also, if you have had labour and then a c.s, you are usually more tired, which makes things more stressful.

what is your lochia like? are there any signs of any infection?

if you are breastfeeding, the afterpains can be quite hard going for a while.

you can take medication, speak to your MW

things like arnica pillules can help the bruising and swelling go down

also, remember, you have had the physical stress of a pregnancy, labour and then a major operation. but you cannot just take to your bed and sleep, as you have a baby to look after .. you need to rest, as much as yo u can, sod the housework, get friends/ family/ neighbours to cook, and enjoy your baby.....

it is very soon to even be thinking about the next birth, but you need to bear in mind that if this experience has scared you, then you need to deal with it sooner rather than later

also, when you go into labour, and have a vaginal birth, your natural endorphins build up as a painkiller, plus there are all the other methods of pain relief..

i would not give up on the idea of a VBAC 10 days post c.section , that is for sure!!

the pain of labour is, as 3andnomore said, the only kind of pain we experience that has a positive outcome, it is swiftly forgotten, i could not actually imagine or describe contractions to you now!!

hope that helps a bit !

it's just different, and even labourpain to labourpain, even in the same woman can be experienced differently....I have 3 children, with my 1. child I found the labour painful, but was able to cope well, and didn't need gas and air until the final hour of labour. (However, with him I had really very evil pains midpregnancy, and it turned out that it was "just" stretching of the ligaments...and some "helpful" (cough) friends felt the need to state that if I thought that was painful then I would not cope with labour, as apparently they never experienced those pains as very painful....but I think, they underestimated how bad it can be for other women & alsdo they completely ignored the fact that I had no experience of labour and actually thought I was going into labour at 20 weeks, and that of course completely freaked me out...possibly made it harder to cope with the pain, as I was so scared....)!

With ds2 I had a very long but absolute wonderful labour, my pains were really mild pretty much all through the labour and a bit of breathing and bouncing on the Gymball was all that was needed....well, then they broke me waters in the last hour and suddenly my wonderful serene labour made me act like the girl in the excorcist, demanding gas and air NOW, lol...but all in all wonderful and calm...

With ys I experienced labour the worst...but that was to do wiht the position he was in, and well, that one ended in C-section...I didn't cope to badly with the after pains...that time...but after ds2 I had really bad afterpains, which really shocked me, considering that the labour was so mildly painful!

So, it all depends on many factors...so, it';s best to keep your options open...

Thank you both. I suppose if it's so variable, I'll try and calm down about the whole thing over the next little while

To answer your questions, Lulumama -

The baby was transverse at birth and she also scooted up towards my lungs as soon as they tried ot get her out. That's why there's so much bruising.

There's no infection in the lochia or the wound but I do have a urinary tract infection. I decided not to take antibiotics for it unless it gets worse.

You can see bruising on the outside, so the inside must be even worse, according to the midwife.

oh , so there might have been a fair bit of extra tugging and pulling to deliver her

arnica, lots of water to flush your system out, resting and enjoying your baby.

if once the physical pain has gone, and you have emotional pain, as it were, about the birth, then talk it through. and if oyu want any more VBAC info , or to run through things, give me a shout

I personally have a worse memory of the afterpains than the actual pains of labour, and I wasn't all bruised like you are!! I think it can be really bad and also it doesn't have the same conotations as birth. It somehow seems UNFAIR to still suffer after it's supposed to be finished!

thanks again. Looking back, I think my fear has also been caused by a woman in labour who was put next to me for a while. she was in agony, crying and camplaining lots. funny how the super calm woman in labour who chatted peacefully to her husband and I until taken to the labour ward hasn't made the same impact on me!

susiemj - i gave birth vaginally also 10 days ago. had small amount gas and air and used tens.

there wasnt a single point when i felt i couldnt cpe. if your mindset is right and you recieve each contraction positively and stay calm it is very dealable with.

i was so full of endorphins my body provided me with loads of natural pain relief - i took kids sledging, made bolognaise, tidied up and watched dvd in labour then when things got intense i went within myself and just rode out each contractions - using mantras like "i can do this, i can do this", breathing, rocking and swaying.

the afterpains however, ouch!! they were very painful and because at that point you have baby and just want to get on with it, its not such a positive pain. would imagine also that you will experience more pain afterwards as your insides were shuffled around and you've had major abdo surgery.

typing 1 handed here so hpe this makes sense and helps aa bit

Thanks Pecka - interesting to know! those pesky afterpains - nobody warns you ....

Susiemj on Sun 13-Jan-08 08:48:12
thanks again. Looking back, I think my fear has also been caused by a woman in labour who was put next to me for a while. she was in agony, crying and camplaining lots. funny how the super calm woman in labour who chatted peacefully to her husband and I until taken to the labour ward hasn't made the same impact on me!

see, you know rationally that there is no reason for you to be terrified ! but rationality often does not come into it.

you need to try to let go of this, and get better, and feel better, and then if a few weeks down the line, you are still feeling upset about it, then talk it through.

did you labour at all?

I had very very bad after pains with dc2 they were far worse than than the labour/birth IMO! I remember crying/screaming in agony with the afterpains, I dreaded every feed for a few weeks because I knew the afterpains would start up again.

Thanks Cargirl.

Lulumama - I didn't labour. I was admitted to hospital with a breech/transverse presentation and high levels of amniotic fluid (meaning danger of prolapse and placenta abrupta). An elective c-section was booked for a week later. While in hospital foetal distress was picked up on the monitor which led to emergency c-section instead.

It was all very unexpected - I'd gone in at 38 weeks just to be monitored for 20 minutes because I hadn't felt movements as normal. Ended up being in hospital for ten days or so.

We now think the baby's dates had been estimated wrongly and she was very overdue. When I had the c-section the surgeon found the placenta completely calcified. Being overdue can also be a reason for the raised levels of amniotic fluid.

I think I had begun to labour a week before when she had been fully engaged. I had contractions every 10 minutes for a few hours and a lot of period-type pain etc but something stopped it all happening and she turned breech/transverse a day or so later. It's all a bit of a mystery, but the baby and I had a close call.

sounds a bit of a nightmare scenario, actually. and a close call as you say. which can make you feel , in hindsight, quite frightened, and you can start playing 'what if?' scenarios in your mind..

how are you feeling physically today?

A bit better I think. DH has to go back to work tomorrow, so we'll se how I go.

I think it is taking me a while to come to terms with what happened with the c-section. I had hyperemesis throughout my pregnancy and one of the things people reassured me is that women with hyperemesis often had really healthy babies and easier deliveries. I think it made the whole thing even more unexpected.

DEfinitely having a lot of 'what ifs' and flashes of imagining the baby in danger.

Really enjoying her too. Love being a mum. Don't get me wrong, I'm not down, but just feel there are a few things that need to be dealt with.

i know exactly where you are coming from susiemj.. having negative feelings about teh birth does not mean that you are not enjoying your baby or grateful to have her...

many women have feelings like this after a traumatic delivery, and one that was so unexpected and frightening is bound to leave you feeling shaky

there are two really good organisations that can help, will link to them...

www.birthtraumaassociation.org.uk
www.sheilakitzinger.com/Birth%20Crisis.htm

thanks lulumama