Threads

See more results

Topics

Usernames

Mumsnet Logo
Please
or
to access all these features

Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

Elective c section/not confident with hospital
20

Justlettuce · 11/05/2022 22:11

Hello! Firstly English is not my first language so apologies for my mistakes.

Just a quick back story. I had an emergency c section 6 years ago. Labour was horrendous, Midwife refused to call a doctor, sent me home in pain. When I returned to the hospital few hours later I was seen by a different midwife who finally realised things were not progressing well. I had a emergency c section and recovery was fine.

Now I’m 23 weeks pregnant and I decided (and I was also told) I would be able to have an planned c section. Great, I feel happy about it and confident. They gave me the name of my obstetrician. I googled his name and he seems amazing. It was all too good to be true.

I had two doctor appointments but not with the doctor assigned on my notes (no idea who those two were). Both of them explained the risks of a caesarean and how it’s possible to have a vaginal delivery which I don’t want. They kept saying “elective caesarean” like I never had a emergency c section before and I’m too posh to push.

My worst nightmare is happening, being pushed into a vaginal delivery again like it’s a wonderful thing and I’m potentially hurting my baby and myself by wanting a caesarean. I can’t hear any of this anymore.

I haven’t been able to sleep for days. I cry every day, all day, I’m regretting getting pregnant. I was told in my previous pregnancy that I would have a planned caesarean if I ever had a second baby and now things are shifting. I went to my appointment happy and confident and left anxious and insecure. I’ve got no confidence those doctors are able to do a surgery and act promptly if any medical issue arises. Honestly I feel like I can jump from a building. I also searched for late terminations, I don’t want to go into labour, emergency caesarean or being carried away in the moment when it happens. I just want to see the doctor who is going to do my surgery and go into the theatre without fearing for my life.

I am terrified and I regret being pregnant now. We were just fine with our only child but I thought having a second baby would be good. We were happy with a second baby but I don’t trust the medical team and I can’t afford a private delivery with a experienced doctor. Now it’s too late and I’m collapsing with fear and regret.

please if anyone can share a similar experience, or give me some advice I would greatly appreciate.

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

Sussexmidwife · 11/05/2022 22:18

Are you in the UK?
Assuming that you are, I suggest that you phone the antenatal clinic tomorrow morning and ask to be put in touch with the perinatal mental health midwife. Share with them exactly what you have written here. They will be able to address your (very understandable) anxiety and fear and can advocate for you.

Please
or
to access all these features

sugarcoatedsp · 11/05/2022 22:21

"Elective CS" just means a planned one.
They will tell you all the pros and cons of each type of birth, that's their job, then you choose. You can choose an elective Caesarian, it won't be a problem honestly.
Try to make an appointment to discuss with a midwife, it sounds like you are panicking and talking will help.

Please
or
to access all these features

XrayFish · 11/05/2022 22:22

You don't have to accept any appointment you don't want to. You can reuse to see anyone other than the named doctor. you can ask for a second opinion. Get your midwife to put in your notes that you need continuity of care after previous experiances.

It's unclear if you're having midwife appointments too, obviously I'm not suggesting missing essential antenatal/medical care, but these seem more admin and getting you on the books?

I would say, if it's important to you, to check if the named doctor performs the surgery. I don't know if that's true.

Please
or
to access all these features

Justlettuce · 11/05/2022 22:26

Yes, I am in London.

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

Hugasauras · 11/05/2022 22:31

Elective Caesarian is just what it's called. It's not making any judgement on you or your choices. They will explain the risks and let you know your options, but you can just say that you want to have an elective section. They won't book you in until nearer the end - I am 34 weeks and have a consultant appointment next week to get a date for my section - so this stage is just about recording your wishes and putting things in place for later. Just be consistent that you want a section.

Please
or
to access all these features

Runkle · 11/05/2022 22:35

Kindly, I think your past trauma has caused unnecessary worry here. Elective is just a category as in not emergency, you'll see that on all your paperwork and it's factually correct. There's no judgement, just fact.
It's the medical team's job to explain the risks to you and your options. All you need to say is that you have considered the options, weighed up the risks versus benefits and have decided to 'make a maternal request for elective c-section'. This Web page is helpful www.birthrights.org.uk/campaigns-research/maternal-request-caesarean/. Good luck

Please
or
to access all these features

Scrambledchickens · 11/05/2022 22:35

Hi you do not have to agree to trial of vaginal delivery.
Next time you see a Dr explain that you do not want to discuss vaginal delivery again and would like to book an elective section. It is you right to choose and although they do need to inform you of risks of both, you have the final say so.
maybe bring a friend/ partner to your next appointment if possible to for support.

Please
or
to access all these features

Becles · 11/05/2022 22:38

It's called informed consent. If they don't tell you all the pros and ons of available options you can't make an informed choice and could be on mumsnet posting about how you weren't given all the information you needed.

Any planned, non emergency procedure is an elective procedure. That's what the NHS calls them, not a dig at you. You're under the named consultant but s/he cannot physically see every single person on their list. That's why the junior doctors working to the consultant manage most of the patients and the very routine stuff, with input from the rest of the team.

You also seem to need some counselling support via your gp or midwife because you seem to have jumped straight into panicking fight mode rather than listening and asking questions where you disagree or don't understand.

If you don't trust the hospital then change to another one or ask your midwife or gp to explain the bits you don't understand or are worried about.

Please
or
to access all these features

DaleTrimont · 11/05/2022 22:41

Sussexmidwife

Are you in the UK?
Assuming that you are, I suggest that you phone the antenatal clinic tomorrow morning and ask to be put in touch with the perinatal mental health midwife. Share with them exactly what you have written here. They will be able to address your (very understandable) anxiety and fear and can advocate for you.

This.
It will be ok OP. You will be able to get a c-section under these circumstances.
Did you get the chance to go through your previous traumatic experience with anyone ?

Please
or
to access all these features

Justlettuce · 11/05/2022 22:48

Sussexmidwife

thank you, I’ll try to do it tomorrow. I’m embarrassed of talking about it - I didn’t even talk to my husband but I feel like I need some help.

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

Threetulips · 11/05/2022 22:53

You are over thinking this.

They talk you through your options,

I had an elective section, which I didn’t want, but I’d too sue to the baby’s position.

By saying elective it sounds like that was my choice, it wasn’t.

They have to make sure you are actually fully aware of all the risks in all scenarios.

Please
or
to access all these features

MotherOfCrocodiles · 11/05/2022 22:58

Some hospitals do really push vaginal birth but you should be able to get a section. Even the most extreme anti cs hospitals won't refuse you if you had a previous section. But you may have to insist.

The named dr is a red herring though, the nhs isn't like that, you just get whoever is on duty that day. The name on the letter will just be one of the consultants who lead the ante natal clinic- they will not personally see every patient and the surgery would be done by whichever surgeon is on duty that day.

Please
or
to access all these features

Threetulips · 11/05/2022 23:46

Some hospitals do really push vaginal birth

yes because an average section costs £30,000 verses £3,000 - but of your not paying 🤷‍♀️

Please
or
to access all these features

ginandtonicformeplease · 12/05/2022 00:08

Threetulips

Some hospitals do really push vaginal birth

yes because an average section costs £30,000 verses £3,000 - but of your not paying 🤷‍♀️

Where on earth did you get those figures? The difference is less than 1k - if a section really cost 30k private hospitals would hardly be doing them for less than 10k Confused

Please
or
to access all these features

Hugasauras · 12/05/2022 06:07

??? Those numbers are totally wrong. £30,000 

[[https://www.itv.com/news/2019-04-18/caesareans-cheaper-than-natural-deliveries-once-negligence-claims-taken-into-account www.itv.com/news/2019-04-18/caesareans-cheaper-than-natural-deliveries-once-negligence-claims-taken-into-accountXV0=

Please
or
to access all these features

Hugasauras · 12/05/2022 06:12

'Previous economic modelling by the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (Nice) has found that vaginal deliveries are about £700 cheaper than a planned Caesarean section, but these figures do not take into account compensation claims.'

Please don't post absolutely baseless shite on someone's thread seeking advice. £30,000 my arse.

Please
or
to access all these features

DogsAndGin · 12/05/2022 12:49

Sorry you’re going through this unnecessary stress.

Please seek help from a loved one - maybe someone can go with you to your next appointment in order to give you some strength when requesting the c sec.

Be very firm in your next appointment: ‘I have weighed up the risks and benefits and I am requesting a C Sec’.

You are entitled to a Caesarian section, and you can absolutely have one. Best of luck to you and your lovely baby.

Please
or
to access all these features

DogsAndGin · 12/05/2022 12:50

Threetulips

Some hospitals do really push vaginal birth

yes because an average section costs £30,000 verses £3,000 - but of your not paying 🤷‍♀️

This is a lie OP. Please ignore these numbers. You are entitled to a c section, for free, on the NHS.

Please
or
to access all these features

MaggieVla · 15/05/2022 12:43

Please do NOT panic! You are still early stages! Secondly, PLEASE LISTEN: By UK law every woman has right to choose her birth experience. You have full right to request c section even if it's your first birth experience. All hospitals have guidance on explaining the outcomes and providing classes / mental health support however they can not force you to deliver vaginally! YOU CAN COMMENT TO YOUR HOSPITAL / DOCTOR: Under NICE article guidance 8 every woman has right of choice- of obstetrician does not agree with you - he / she should refer you to different obstetrician who can provide c section as your borth choice. If you stand firm on your choice and say you are receiving too much stress and they are pushing on you and you could take legal action against their persuasion- they will stop. NHS wants to save money that's why they are pushing towards vaginal births. Also, please read RCOG guidance- after you familiarised yourself and still happy with c section they should offer c section! Full stop. Which hospital is it if you don't mind me asking? Cheers

Please
or
to access all these features

DaleTrimont · 15/05/2022 16:09

I also wonder which hospital? UCH have an excellent support team for perinatal mental health. Trauma from a previous birth is a perfectly valid reason to want a second section. I tried to have a VBAC second time round but my midwives actually advised me to have a section as they felt I would probably end up with another anyway (which I did).

Please
or
to access all these features
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.