Late, painful VEs, birth plan gone down the drain... tips pls?

[sispele]

Hi mums!

My birth plan was the typical hypnobirthing, pool etc... but yesterday at 41w I had a (failed) extremely painful sweep and I'm terrified about vaginal exams now. I have an induction booked for next week (42w), but I'm now reconsidering as I think I might not be able to decline internal exams if I go down that route. Possibly a C-section would be a better option for me? Did anyone experience extreme pain during VEs? I was totally unprepared for that... could have been the midwife who knows... I can only find out if I do it again with someone else. I don't even know who to talk to as the clinic is closed until Tue 🙈 Thanks in advance for any help

I found VEs very painful. I had a sweep 6 days before my labour.So sore. I went on to have a normal Vaginal delivery.Although I did have an epidural which was amazing.Handy for the stitches after also.

yes that's an option if I go into labour before the induction date! He seems real comfy in there tho... starting to think he'll only come out when we get him out (and I don't want to go over 42w due to higher risks).

Yes, I found the VE’s agonising. I was induced and the first attempt at a sweep and inserting the pessary were incredibly painful. I also had ARM and it was horrific. Like medieval torture.

That said I was only 40+3 you are more overdue. If it doesn’t happen naturally hopefully you’re body will be more ready than mine was!

I found vaginal exams very painful with my first baby, no idea why, the weird thing was as soon as the birth was over it was fine. Was totally dreading the post birth exams and they were okay, didn't hurt at all.

I went through that whole labour with just gas and air and the birth pool and although it was painful it was manageable. No idea why the exams in particular were so tricky.

I've declined sweeps with all three of mine btw... The last baby my doctor wanted to give me a sweep and I said no, then went into labour that evening, so I'm sure if I'd had one I would have thought it "worked". But the thing is when they're offering them you're generally overdue so the chances of you going into labour within 48h are quite high in any case. I think the benefit of them is so minimal it's not worth it at all.

@BertieBotts thanks, yes I have the feeling labour will be easier than VEs, and that it's because of the way that it was done that it hurt so much, I was in tears! I think my options will be natural labour or CS tho, rather than induction... I'm totally dreading other hands or whatever down there now.

@ricketybeauty yes that's the thing... my time window isn't helping... and the baby seems super comfy, literally zero signs of labour! It did feel like mediaeval torture for sure, even if for just minutes 😫

VEs can be painful and I don't think anyone really prepares you for that. My experience as both a midwife and someone who has 2 babies fairly recently, is that VEs actually become more tolerable the further through labour you are. Even you aren't in labour, the midwife has to reach much higher and further back. When you are in the throws of labour, the head is pressing down making your cervix much much easier to find and assess. Please remember that you can decline any examination. Hope you labour soon!

You can choose not to have VEs at all but in induction that is likely to limit your options. That's fine if you make that choice. C section is also a legitimate choice and so is waiting past 42 weeks.
WHO says term is 37-42 weeks so you are not technically overdue until 42+1. In France the due date is 41 weeks and it can vary so much in women.

You have the right to choose to decline VEs in labour or before too and if you are hurting and stressed from them you are less likely to go into labour as the oxytocin that is needed to progress labour is the happy hormone. So do things that make you happy and feel safe and you are more likely to go into labour naturally.

@FreedomforWA indeed, totally unprepared, I was so not expecting such pain! Question for you as a midwife, couldn't cervix dilation be a self-check? I can easily find mine and touch it without feeling a thing (it took me days to find it initially, but I was committed to making a menstrual cup work 😅 now I find it in seconds). That would make life easier for so many of us. That said, I think it increasingly looks like natural labour or CS for me, I can't stand the idea of that torture again. Like you said, hope I labour soon!

@sispele only thing I would suggest is if when you go in to be induced they can’t even manage a sweep/ you barely dilate, your induction may well not be successful so if I was you (or could go back in time) I would have an extremely low threshold for asking for a c section!

thanks @AHobbyaweek yes I doubt declining all VEs in induction will make it easier for me or them. I do not want to go past 42w, I'll feel too anxious as I have a friend who waited and the worst happened. As per oxytocin... I was totally relaxed before that check... must be a comfy uterus 😅

Totally understand not wanting to wait or take the risk. Everyone is different.
Comfy uterus is not a bad thing until we want them to come out!
Make yourself comfy and do some things for you to get the oxytocin up and relax. Maybe safe in the knowledge you can decline if you want.

I had two sweeps - both agony and was climbing the walls as it was done. I mentioned my experience to midwives doing my induction and they were brilliant - used loads of lubricant, took it slow, got me relaxed and taking deep breaths... absolutely no pain or discomfort whatsoever. I also had a lovely quick Labour and didn't have to have any more examinations as I was clearly progressing so quickly. Good luck OP!

@ricketybeauty yes totally makes sense and also my thinking. thanks!

@AHobbyaweek thanks - you ladies are being super helpful, oxytocin approved 😊

@linerforlife wow, sounds great, happy for you! I agree who does it and how it gets done could be the game changer.

I was also 0cm when I was induced so it wasn't the case that I took ages to progress at all. I would really recommend speaking with the midwife at the hospital first before opting for a c section just to see if someone different doing it makes it ok.

Never had a sweep, but I've had two inductions, and my experience is the same as @FreedomforWA . I found VEs painful and unpleasant when cervix is still posterior, high, hard, long, and not dilated i.e. body not ready for labour. But them being absolutely fine during labour itself when all the opposites are true. Gas and air being readily available during labour also helps.

Best of luck for this coming week! Hopefully baby will make their own way out before 42 weeks.

In theory you could try and check dilation yourself...however, we are checking much more than just how many cm dilated you are. We are checking the length, position and consistency of your cervix. We are also trying to assess the position of your baby's head by feeling the suture lines on their head and how low in your pelvis they are. As your cervix becomes softer, it can become very stretchy and it can be a bit harder to determine dilation unless you are used to feeling them that way - you can think you are much further along than you actually are. I know someone on here has mentioned gas and air when you are having VEs in labour - you can request this if you were to be induced. I have had quite a few women have gas and air to have the pessary/gel inserted - it does help you to relax. I wouldn't let the examination of one midwife write off an induction if that is needed....explain concerns you have and request they be as gentle and slow as possible using lots of lube. It can make a huge difference. I have seen some amazing inductions of women having their first baby, it isn't always the long drawn out affair that is spoken about. I would try not to focus on this for the next few days and do a few things to try and relax so you hopefully labour. Good luck!