Elective Caesarian

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I've just had a second caesarean. My first was an emergency after 'failure to progress' - 48hr labour. I was determined the second time to have a 'natural birth' but my due date came and went and the consultant and we came out with a date for a second caesarean the next day. That afternoon i went into labour and was excited that i might be able to do it myself. I went to the hospital at about 11pm with moderate contraction pains every 7 mins. I hadn't dilated so they sent me on a ward on my own to labour thru the night. By the morning I was having regular very painful contractions but much to my dismay I hadn't dilated at all. So we went ahead with the caesarean. I have recovered well and quickly and have another beautiful son. HOWEVER - i just heard from my 5th friend who has had their second child and had a 2 hr labour, got to the hospital just in time and popped their child out. Although extremely pleased for all these people I am left with a feeling of failure that my body doesn't work properly and that i have
been robbed of an experience that i will never have. I am sure i am just being hormonal but I'd be grateful to hear from anyone that has
got over these same feelings.

Forest, can I ask, how did you get your placenta home from hospital (or did you have a home birth?). I didn't even get to see mine,though it was, apparently, huge. A placenta is supposed to weight 1/6 of your baby's birthweight, I understand.

Forest, can I ask, how did you get your placenta home from hospital (or did you have a home birth?). I didn't even get to see mine,though it was, apparently, huge. A placenta is supposed to weight 1/6 of your baby's birthweight, I understand.

We had asked my midwife before I went into hospital if we could take the placenta home so she made some enquiries to make sure it was alright. Then when we were in hospital I had it written on my birth plan and we also mentioned it to the midwives on duty - they thought it was a great idea! After the birth, they took my placenta and stuck it in the fridge. When it came time to go home we signed a form and they handed it over in a big yellow bucket with a red lid - the ones they use for biological waste. So off we went with baby and placenta And it is massive!

Hi Everyone, Since you all seem to be knowledgeable on this subject I thought i'd ask a question. I apologise in advance if this is to long.
Is it definitely possible to choose to have a c-section? I was always under the immpression that you could choose but someone has since told me that you can't.
the reason I ask is because DH and I are discussing baby #2. We already have 5 year dd and her birth for me was quite traumatic. to cut a long story short I went 10 days overdue, labour started naturally but was very slow. the diamorphine I had made me sick as did the epidural and I have vague memories of spending 22 hours in a hospital bed drifting in and out of concsiousness in between bouts of being sick. After 22 hours they decided that they would try forceps and if they didn't work then a section. The forceps worked but I often wonder if I would have been better with the section.
The reason for all this hassle I discovered AFTER the birth, nobody told me during labour, was that my dd was in the wrong position, I forget what it's actually called but her spine was against mine so birth wasn't happening.
Because of this I wonder if anyone has any inkling on whether or not I would be allowed to have a section next time if I request one?
I know every labour and birth is different and to be honest my ideal birth would be to have extra scans late on to check the position, someone told me they can do that, and then try labour for a few hours but if it's all going to go the same way then have a section before things get out of hand.
I have an appointment with my GP next week to ask her about all this, we haven't even decided for definite on another baby yet, but I want to make sure I get as much info before hand.
Has anyone had a similar experience? or know of anyone who has? any advice/comments would be appreciated

Hi Linnet

The short answer is you can ask and you may get... however your labour sounds a "classical" case of a hard 1st time... which leads to a usually much better and faster 2nd timer.
From what you describe you had a OP (Posterior or Back labour) labour... Many of us have them (10% I believe)... I had one... laboured for 18 hours and pushed for 6, 5 hours ! Second labour was over and done with in 5 hours from A to Z...

If your baby were to be AGAIN (but unlikely) OP.... your uterus will be much more efficient at turning babies... OP labour are NOT such a big deak second time around.

I think you need to ask... and you need to speak to a well informed and supportive midwife. I can appreciate the trauma of your first birth but it is worth exploring whether you risk indeed of having again a bad experience or if you can like 95% of us have a much better experience. What ever happens you need to have confindence in what you can do and what you want...

Good luck

Pupuce, OP is what I remember the midwife saying after the birth although things were still a bit hazy then and I didn't really question it all to much at the time, just wanted to gaze at my beautiful baby and phone everyone. My Dh has told me that they mentioned to him that the baby was in the wrong position but they were sure that it would turn and didn't think they should bother me with this info. I guess with being my first I wasn't really prepared for things to go that way. And looking back I should have asked a lot more questions about what was happening. But being my first I had no idea. I'm older and wiser now though. Next time, hoping there will be one, I will be more informed and with luck it will be easier. Thanks for your comments.

Hi Claire 1
I had a private caesarean and it all went fine. I didn't choose to have one but after a failed trial of labour following induction I was rushed off to theatre, given a spinal block or epidural(didn't know there was a difference)and a couple of minutes later there he was
I guess you haven't had one before so like other people have said, be prepared for it to hurt more than you might expect. One good thing about going private perhaps is that you feel justified in screaming for more drugs - not wasting NHS resources after all! Also I'm sure you'll have a lovely room afterwards - I couldn't have stood days on end on a shared ward myself. But maybe in that case you could just go private after the op itself?
I felt really upset about the whole c section thing before the birth (I had preeclampsia so it was always on the cards) and for a while afterwards and reading some of these comments has brought it back a bit - not that people were horrible about it but I guess I do feel a bit 'cheated'. I think if I had just decided on an elective c section from the start it might have been easier to accept - just a thought

Hi Linnet
I had the same scenario with my first and it was shocking and horrible and I used to vow that with my 2nd I would have to have an elective c-section. However, I think when you are onto your second, you really have to remember that even if, say the same thing was to happen again (unlikely but still) it would be OK, as you at least know now! Hope this makes sense, but my m/w said to me the other day that I was likely to have another OP labour because I'd had one already. I wasn't thrilled to hear it but at the same time, I'm pretty chilled about it too. The shock of it with ds was that I really wasn't prepared and no-one told me until I was about to deliver that he was OP! Had I known I probably wouldn't of bothered with the natural route and 10 hours of gas and air.. just would of taken an epidural seeing as it was probably going to be an intervention -y labour anyway!
For my next one, if I find out early on it is OP I will take an epidural and at least know whats in store for me without being in too much agony.
Hope this helps in some way.. I have to think like this as I am about to do it all again in 13 weeks.
Jessi
PS Also babies turn so late on, my ds was engaged right up until the last minute so theres no guarantee's until the day I think.
Jessi

Jessi - have you been given advice on how to avoid an OP position again?
OP position is more common nowadays because fo our lifestyles ie when driving the pelvis is tilted backwards and comfy sofas tilt the pelvis backwards also. These positions encourage the baby to adopt an OP position.
If you try and sit in a forwards position such as facing the back of a chair straddling it or at least sit in an upright chair that supports your back, the baby will be able to adopt a better position. Also spending some time each day on your hands and knees can help.
My sister had 4 babies and only one was OP so you never know. HTH.

Hi there Linnet, I also had a 'back' labour with my first. my dd - spine to spine and she was born with a ventouse, 'stargazer' and very VERY hard work - in fact we were on the last pull with the ventouse before going to theatre for a cesarean as she just wasn't coming. My BRILLIANT ob got her out, and I am forever greatful. She weighed in at 9lb12oz, which was an added complication
When my waters broke with ds, I was terrifed, was I going to have to go through a 37hour ghastly labour again. Well he was textbook, 10 hours from waters breaking, in the right position, 9lb3oz (10 days early), only gas and air, a fantastic experience.
Just because it has gone badly once doesn't mean it will be bad the next time!

Here is some more info

www.homebirth.org.uk/ofp.htm

couldn't get link to work.

Thanks Mears, my m/w did suggest washing the kitchen floor and doing jigsaws with my ds on all fours. So far I haven't really thought too much about it, because ds turned right at the last minute I figured I didn't need to be doing these things now! Am I wrong, should I be doing this now?

My 2 labours were pretty much like Susanmt's. 2nd pregnancy I spent a LOT of time leant over a large inflatable ball and sweeping the kitchen floor on my hands and knees. Just 18 minutes pushing for DS2 compared to hours plus ventouse with DS1.

Jessi, I'd get into the "good" habit of leaning forward now. I think I started at, um... 10 weeks to go with DS2.

Good luck!

Jessi - best to do these things now so that the baby is in the best position BEFORE labour starts. That would avoid the OP labour.

Thanks for the advice. Am starting from now!