Handhold Needed - C-Section Tomorrow & Scared to Death

[Harlequin1088]

Hi everyone. A bit of a handhold needed. I’m a first-time Mum and have an elective C-section booked for tomorrow morning. I’ve been diagnosed with ICP this week and my baby is measuring really big (top of the chart) so the medics have said if I didn’t already have a section booked for tomorrow then they’d be advising me to come in for one anyway.

I was ok about it all up until this morning and now the crippling fear has set in. I hate to admit this as I’m generally not afraid of anything but this has got me on the ropes and I’m absolutely fucking terrified.

My last pregnancy was ectopic so I nearly died in that situation as it went undiagnosed for so long. Consequently I’m just in a state of fear that despite getting this far (39+2) and tomorrow being The Day, there’s still plenty of time for something to go horribly wrong.

I’m afraid I’m going to completely lose my shit in theatre and have a panic attack in front of my partner and the medical team and have everyone think I’m foolish. I’m afraid that something is going to go wrong in surgery. I’m afraid that my baby will be stillborn or will have something horribly wrong with him. I’m afraid that I won’t like my baby or he won’t like me.

I know it all sounds completely and utterly irrational but I can’t help it. I’m just so, so frightened and I’m not even sure I’m cut out to be a Mum. I have a lovely partner and a supportive family who live nearby who are so excited to welcome their first grandchild into the world so I know I’m luckier them most, yet I can’t shake this feeling that I’m still not good enough for this and that my kid is going to end up in therapy and resenting me because I’ll screw everything up somehow.

Sorry, I just need to really get all this off my chest and I don’t want to talk to anyone in real life in case they think I’m mad.

Oh, bless you. It will be nerve racking but I can assure you that my planned section was a lovely calm experience. I was crying with nerves when I arrived at the hospital (also had previous losses) so they put me to go down first and honestly everything went like clockwork. Three minutes after the incision I had my baby next to me in my husbands arms. It was all fine. I hope that everything goes well for you, enjoy the gorgeous baby snuggles

I've had 4 sections and have felt like you before each one, it's perfectly normal. Everybody is lovely though and I mean everybody, they are great at helping calm the nerves. When dc2 was being delivered we were all debating which supermarket had the best delivery service, surgeon included. The surgery is quick and then you will be back on the ward with baby rejoicing in the fact that you have a catheter in place and can't feel below your chest so don't need to get up to use the loo. Don't forget the peppermint, the trapped wind is awful.

Oh my dear. You aren’t mad and no one will think that at all. How you are feeling is actually of course totally rational. It’s a big deal. BUT this is bread and butter to the people who will be looking after you. They are experts and will do an amazing job of delivering your beautiful son. Tomorrow you will be holding him in your arms and gazing at his amazing little face.

For today, try to spend it looking after yourself. Have a nice bath, slowly wander to a coffee shop in the sun, watch something calming on telly. And just keep reminding yourself you can do this- it will all be fine and worth it.

Also tonight maybe have a very small glass of wine with dinner

These feelings are completely normal, when I was pregnant I was worried the whole time about everything. Ds was initially breech so it was always going to be heading for a section. Then he turned at 36 weeks so then it was a vaginal delivery. What actually happened was I got stuck at 9cm and then had a baby in distress so I had an EMCS. Due to a lot of circumstances I chose an ELCS for Ds2.

It was a completely different experience. I cried in the room I was given before surgery. Even though I had been through a c section before I was terrified, truly believed it would all go wrong, there would be something wrong with the baby. I had lovely staff walk me down to theatre, the anaesthetist and the assistant were great, talked me through everything that was going to happen before they did it. Dh was in the room with me but not right next to me.

Then he went off to get changed into scrubs and I had the midwife put in the urinary catheter, didn't feel a thing as I was completely numb by that stage and she was most respectful of me. Then I was moved into theatre, Dh appeared and a few minutes later Ds2 was born. That was 16 years ago but I can still remember the fear beforehand.

You have a lovely supportive network around you, just think, your baby will be here tomorrow.

Pre section you'll probably have a chat with the anaesthetist - do tell them how you feel as it's their job to look after you and I'm sure they're very used to women being scared before C sections. I don't have a clue what the surgeon for my EMCS looked like but I do have memories of the anaesthetist and he was lovely. As PP have said have a calm day, enjoy the sunshine and peace. And remember when you're dreading things in advance your mind will dream up hundreds of scenarios but not do a thing about them because they're just scenarios. Real life will only give you one scenario and you will be there and able to respond, even if it's just taking deep breaths.

Hi op I had a c section last week and could have written your exact post, I was so worried about having a major panic attack and embarrassing myself. The staff were amazing. I told them in advance I was worried about that and they were very understanding, the lovely anaesthetist stroked my forehead when I got a bit upset when the spinal was beginning to work, It was a strange feeling don’t get me wrong but didn’t hurt at all and once they started the op I felt much more settled. My little boy started crying as soon as he came out and the rest of the op is a blur as I was just staring at him. You will be great, I had severe anxiety beforehand but found it all fine and over very quickly. The great thing about a c section is you have a room full of all the right people to deal with anything and I felt very reassured, good luck! You’ll do great and have your baby in your arms very soon x

I was sick with nerves in the 24 hours before my elective c section (second baby) so just wanted to reassure you that what you’re feeling is very normal.

I was terrified before mine. A friend talked me through hers - there are lots of threads on here about how to make it as lovely as possible. It's totally normal to feel nervous- it's pretty major surgery. But an elective is so very different from an emergency - it will be calm, quiet. It's very strange - that feeling of someone rootling around in your tummy - but you will be in the absolute best place if something does go wrong. They are all there for YOU and YOUR BABY - it's their sole job while you're in theatre to make sure you and the baby are okay.
Sorry, rambling, got to run and bathe babies, but it's going to be fine. Get some big pants for after, put a pad over the scar to stop anything digging in, and make sure your OH takes a pic of themselves in scrubs and scrub cap - you'll want to remember how funny they look.
I don't mean to sound flippant - you're not unreasonable to be worried, it is scary. But they're recommending this because it's safest for you both. I hope you're okay, do keep us posted. X

It is frightening OP, any surgery is scary and you are also scared for your baby.
I have had two c-sections, and the second was less frightening as I knew what to expect.
You will have someone by your side talking you through it as you have the epidural, and while they perform the surgery and get the baby out. When your baby is out they will bring her to you, and then you will be stitched, a catheter put in (for about 24 hours ) , and taken to the recovery room where you should be able to feed your baby. It does hurt afterwards, but I felt that the pain was well managed .
Takes a while to recover from of course, but it is ok.
I found once my baby was out I was less anxious, and the next day I was up and walking slowly to the bathroom.
Good luck OP.

I just gave birth to my baby boy yesterday by c section.

He's my third, there's a 11 year gap though between him and my youngest.

I came into hospital to be induced on Friday afternoon due to baby showing a large gestational size at 38 week scan.

Propess for 24 hours which caused me lots of cramping, a very bad nights sleep but no progression.

So Saturday evening my waters were broken and I was our on an oxytocin drip. Quickly our U.K. to the top level for lack of progression. All night mild contractions but never progressed passed 2cm. No sleep again and at 8am the doctor came round on her rounds and suggested a c section.

I was very nervous too. Anaesthestist came round and talked it all through, all the risks and options for spinal or general. It all sounded quite scary but I kept reminding myself that all my friends who've had sections are all very pro section and many opted for a second one.

Anyway, down j went at 11am, very nervous but the team were amazing. Explained it all, made sure I was comfortable, . The whole procedure from spinal injection to being wheeled out was about 30 minutes!

A very very positive experience and one I wouldn't hesitate to do again. I'm a little sore now but still in hospital and being prescribed food pain medication .

My Abby ended up weighing much less than expected (8lb6) but it turned out he had the cord wrapped around his neck and a very rare true knot in I'm his umbilical cord! I was told that if labour have progressed my labour is likely to have resulted in an emergency x C-section anyway so I'm so glad this happened how it did without the risks and stress.

Things do happen for a reason! ♥️♥️♥️
Good luck

Thank you all for your kind words and reassurances. It’s made me feel so much better reading through them all. I’m up and ready to head to hospital in about an hour and feeling a bit better about the whole thing.

You'll be holding your baby in a few hours, how exciting. All the very best of luck!
(2 emergency sections, Dc now 20 and 16)

Thinking of you today op. Just think you'll be snuggling your baby in a matter of hours!

Good luck OP, enjoy meeting your baby soon.
I was also very nervous before my C-section, the whole team were so professional and reassuring, it's not long before you meet your baby.

Just wanted to pop on and say hi, two years ago I was in your position with icp and a section,
Everything with be ok, let the medical team do their thing, just you make sure you have loads of newborn cuddles later today,
Sending love

It's a very strange thing to know your baby is about to arrive with certainty.

I had a section with #1 and it was fine. The procedure itself was uncomplicated and I recovered quickly and relatively pain free without any complications. I was up and walking 4 hours after and showered etc the next morning. I would have been discharged the next morning (baby wasn't ready). I had a completely uncomplicated recovery & was back to normal in a couple of weeks.

I'm electing one this time around.

You'll be looked after and I was comfortable throughout. Some breathing exercises might help you through the anxiety. Try mindfulness this morning.

Good luck today Op - I wrote almost exactly this post the night before my elective earlier this year! It was a wonderful experience and I'll never forget the moment they laid the baby on me and she just stopped crying. Utterly peaceful and so much better than labour!

Very best of luck - and even if you don't adore your baby the second they give him to you, that's completely normal. You will in time, and he will think (rightly) that you are the bees' knees.

@Harlequin1088 any news, op?

Hi everyone! Thank you for thinking of me. My little boy safely arrived this afternoon weighing nearly 10 lbs. Things got a bit worrying when they said he was so big, they were struggling to get him out during the C-section then I lost two litres of blood and it all got a bit hazy after that. They had to give me a blood transfusion apparently and I felt so rough but I’m feeling a lot better now albeit a little sore. My beautiful baby is doing great though 🥰

Congratulations 💐
Sounds like they were right when they said he was measuring big! Sorry it got a bit tricky in theatre, take it as easy as you can and just enjoy gazing at him.

@Arecklessmanor

Congratulations 💐 Sounds like they were right when they said he was measuring big! Sorry it got a bit tricky in theatre, take it as easy as you can and just enjoy gazing at him.

Thank you ☺️

Congratulations, an amazing little boy, how wonderful. Sounds like you've been through the wringer, so allow yourself time to heel and just take it easy... if you can drag your gaze away from baby harlequin.

• heal not heel obviously, lol