Can you help me make a decision please? WWYD

[namechangedforthiz]

I really wanted a VBAC but I am exhausted and not sure I can hold out any longer my due date is the 9th and I have a c-section booked for the 14th in case I don't go into labour. Me and OH aren't getting on and I don't have any support. He is staying with his brother for now until things calm down but this is just making things even harder for me. He is helping with the kids though and then going back to his brothers.

I can rearrange my section for next week and can recover throughout the school holidays. Or do I carry on holding out that I go into spontaneous labour by the 14th which is my planned c-section date.

I'm also concerned about my scar rupturing during labour even though the percentages are very low or i end up having an EMCS anyway and I'm
Just dragging it out.

The thought of having this baby out of me and just getting on with recovery is what's driving me towards having the c-section.

WWYD?

Personally I would go for the planned c-section as I’d worry that an emergency c-section would be much less ideal. But I can definitely understand your reasons for wanting the vbac

I would have the section!

That's really hard and not something I'd want to decide for you. I would always tend towards VBAC as you'll likely recover faster and easier from a non-surgical delivery. It sounds like that might be a good thing for you. On the other hand, if you find comfort in knowing the schedule and are more comfortable with certainty of what is going to happen when, maybe the c-section is for you. Tough call.

If your medical team have no issue with a c section next week then I can’t see the problem. What were your reasons for wanting VBAC? Changing your mind from your initial plan at any stage is completely your prerogative. Whatever you want to do and whenever you want to do it is fine whatever the reasons. (Medical issues aside.)

You sound utterly exhausted. Have the C-section. You know all about the recovery so get all the little bits to recover.

But put yourself out of this misery.

I am waiting for my results to come back for suspected preclampsia so that could put an end to my VBAC anyway.

I wanted to experience a vaginal birth to be honest in some ways I feel like I have missed out on that instant feeling of love. But then to be honest I have enjoyed all of my c-sections.

@AskingforaBaskin thanks I think you are probably right.

Im making my self ill going over it constantly. If I had a really good support network I would definitely hold out but I don't have that option unfortunately.

@namechangedforthiz I have had 3 Vaginal Births in the water.

I did not have that instant feeling of love. I had exhaustion and some relief it was over. But if you are holding onto a VBac for that one thing please don't put that pressure on yourself.

I personally don't know anyone who had it. I think it's something in fiction.

Agree with AskingforaBaskin. Vaginal birth is really not that fun, and personally I was too blitzed from the pain to feel any kind of instant love rush. Don't idealise it - go with what is best for you, which may mean taking the uncertainty out of the equation.

@namechangedforthiz

I've had 3 vaginal deliveries, 2 in water. Didn't feel anything at all for any of my babies until the days following.

My friend is training to be a midwife and said after the C Section births the mother is more lucid whereas the vaginal they are more spaced out. (I was just so glad it was over each time!). What I'm saying is I don't think there's any advantage re. Bonding with a natural birth. I would just try to connect with your gut feeling about what you want to do.

Hope all goes great whatever you decide and that you can get a rest in the meantime too ♥️