2nd baby- labour after 3b tear

[MH17]

Hello, sorry for long post. I had my first baby 3 years ok. She was back to back, I had episiotomy, failed ventouse, prepped for c section and taken to theatre, midwife and surgeons arguing but then delivered by forceps and 3b tear. I had fecal incontinence for about 6 weeks, lots of physio to sort it. I’m ok now but can’t run for long without need a poo!

Previous consultant was very flippant and just said you’ll be fine For vaginal birth if there’s a next time but the colorectal nurse I saw said I might not be as lucky next time don’t chance it. I’m at a different hospital for this baby and My midwife has said it’s my choice what I do but I’m absolutely terrified about making wrong decision and lie awake panicking. Some friends have said second vb is easier and will help heal trauma from first but I’m scaredof losing control of my bowels permanently. and I know from friends that c section is a big surgery and recovery too. Does anyone have similar birth experience, what did you do for second?

I also had a 3b tear and a similar birth. Not a chance I would risk another vaginal birth. I know others who have and its been fine, but mentally I could not face it!
I'm sure you will get some balanced views, but could not go through it again

I had a third degree tear with my first but had none of the other complications you've had.

My second birth 2 years later was beautiful. A quick and easy water birth without any tearing at all.

If I was you though, I think I'd take the c section.

I had a 3a tear, and didn't want to risk long term incontinence so went for a planned c section which went fine. It was uncomfortable after the section as expected, but in the short term. I was mostly wanting to avoid any long term issues.

I was very clear I didn’t want to risk it and my consultant was fully supportive of that. It’s obviously a personal decision but I have no regrets at all.

Just to add, I had some mild incontinence issues in the 1st few weeks after the tear and that made me definitely want to avoid it long term.

I had a similar first birth and when I became pregnant with DC2 I asked for a planned C section as I was terrified of tearing again and being left with more damage down below. It was all booked for 39 weeks but I went into labour early and ended up with a vaginal delivery as there was no time! They were very careful with the scar tissue and I had an episiotomy with a local anaesthetic and no tearing.
I did see a physio afterwards when I'd healed about the 'stress incontinence'(when you need to go you need to go) and it really helped.
Best of luck with whatever you choose.

I had a 3b tear 10 years ago and have since had two vaginal births with no complications.
I also found the midwives/consultants to veer more on the side of vaginal birth, but I could have pushed for a section if I'd wanted.
I totally empathise with your dilemma as it's very tricky deciding what's for the best as I agonised for months with my second. With my third I knew I would just have another vaginal birth as the second had been fine.

A c section is absolutely fine. Don't risk a vb. Its a rough 24-48 hours, then it progressively gets better. Make your decision, then you can relax.

I went for a planned c section. It was wonderful to be honest. Not easy, but a much much easier recovery than from my 3DT.

I too was told different things by different people but I saw a specialist perineal care midwife who told me not to gamble with my continence - and she gave me clear advice about what life could look like if I gambled and lost. So I took her advice.

I had a 4dt and went for the planned section. It was honestly wonderful. I felt sore for 5 days after and then felt significantly better. I took it very easy afterwards and felt entirely recovered by 4-6 weeks pp. Which is amazing when compared to the months it took me to recover from the tear.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Had a 3a tear and episiotomy with my first. Had a normal vaginal birth and Just a small graze with my second. Was fine. Having my third any day and happy to have a vaginal birth again.

I'm trying for baby number 2, also had a grade 3 tear, lots of physio, scar tissue and PTSD. I had a similar sounding experience to yours.

I emailed the maternity department as I'm petrified of not being listened to and not being in control again.

I was advised it's better to be under the mental health midwives and that 100% needs to be a cesarean and not to risk vaginally. I could not cope with a recovery like I had the last time, or making my current damage worse, or my mental health worse.

Ultimately its your choice, but I'd speak to the mental health midwifery team if you have access to one.

4th d year and had a planned c section. It will be nothing like your previous experience. There was lots of waiting around calmly (bored) at the hospital on the day and then down for surgery.
As its planned you can plan for recovery with your dh or friends helping with dc1
To be ho nest I felt selfish that my health was choosing a c section but then I thought if I am damaged after and have incontinence etc that will have a greater impact on the dcs life longer time

Thank you for all your advice and sharing your experiences. Long term continence is a big concern, and I still find thinking about the first time traumatic. Definitely swaying towards c section. Sad so many of us have had similar experiences and you don’t really hear before about how bad recovery and trauma can be after a VB. I remember NCT only speaking about a difficult recovery from CS!

I had a 4th degree tear 13 years ago. Second time round, I opted for a c-section. I ended up going into labour early anyway, but went straight in and was put in for a section first thing in the morning.

It was the right choice for me, as I was worried about continence after a range more complications, and a decade of pelvic floor exercises/Pilates tells me that this is still going to be a long term issue . But for me the bigger issue was having some control and knowing what to expect. It might have been ok with a v birth, but I wanted a bit more certainty.

Hope everyone's experiences help you make your own choices 💐.

I wouldn't risk it in your position. I would be booked in for a CS. I have a rectal prolapse after my 2nd birth and the surgery that I could have is horrific, much worse than a CS so I would choose that.

I'm in exactly the same position as you, 3b tear 3 years ago and currently pregnant with no2!

I'm constantly swaying between vb and c-section, I just can't decide! I healed ok from the tear tbh, no real lasting issues which I'm extremely grateful for. I just don't know if I'd be so lucky if I tried it again

I've got to see the consultant in a few weeks so will see what they say. But I remember at the time my GP told me I'd definitely be better with a section next time.

@Bluebellsandbroomsticks good luck. let me know how you get on. I’ve got the appointment with the perineal team in about 8 weeks