Third birth but after a fairly big gap (7 years) and in different country (France) -- experiences?

[kalidasa]

I'm expecting DS3 at the start of May, DS2 has just turned 7. Births with both him and his brother (9) were pretty straightforward, about 12 hours for DS1, more like 5-6 for DS2, pushed about 30 mins for DS1, about 5 mins (if that!) for DS2. Delivered kneeling up both times, tore both times in exactly the same way but mended well. Giving birth in France this time where I know the whole thing is likely to be pretty different and am also a lot older obviously (41, will prob turn 42 before the birth). Has actually been the best pregnancy so far though and I am still able to exercise a bit (yoga; gentle swimming) which I wasn't in previous pgs.

I know it's all pure anecdote but if you had a third birth after a similar gap I'd love to hear your experiences -- was it quicker again, or does the gap make a difference? Also interested in UK/NHS vs France comparisons. Everyone seems to have an epidural here, which I've never had, and would rather avoid if possible though also happy to go with whatever is recommended at the time!

My sister has had both of hers in a European country, very similar system to France.

The reason most women have an epidural in her country is that there is no other pain relief on offer- not even gas and air!! It’s either an epidural or nothing….. I’d think perhaps France might be the same?

Also the stay in hospital for her was longer, it was a mandatory stay of 3 days after birth. No choice about it at all. Have you looked into that for Francetoo?

I gave birth to mine in France - feel free to pm me any questions

Thanks @Footballsundays6777. I asked my midwife about gas and air and she said it's not standard (it doesn't "count" as an analgesic here apparently haha!) but that it is available. I am registered at a v. big central Paris hospital though, which seems to be trying to encourage more "natural" births (I get the impression most French women are not convinced!), so you are probably right that it's not available everywhere and we'll see whether they actually produce it in practice. With DS2 they refused to believe I was "properly" in labour and refused me gas and air about 3 hours before he was born (without checking dilation! midwife offered me two paracetamol instead . . . ) I did get it eventually an hour or so later but it was a bit too late I think, it seemed to make much less difference than with DS1 and in any case I never want it after transition. So I suppose even if no g&a available I'd probably prefer to try without the epidural if things seemed straightforward.

I think you're right about the hospital stay too, but I'm fine with that, it seems quite sensible to me provided the post-natal care is better than the hell-hole of the Royal Free!