C-section advice

[sunshineonarainyday6]

Hi all, was hoping for a natural birth but have been told I need to have a c-section. Am feeling a little disappointed as it's not the birth I hoped for, nervous about recovery with a toddler etc, and also I worry it won't feel as special as my natural birth did. Does anyone have any tips/advice please and is there anything anyone did to make their c-section feel special to them? I have heard about people dropping the curtain when they baby is born for example. Is that a thing? Thanks in advance.

Honestly, it was getting my baby that made it special for me. An elective section is a calm
experience (or should be), you can usually ask for music, I didn't but the surgeon played some which I liked. I would not have wanted the cloth dropped! But some people do. Good luck. Some support with the toddler until your wound heals is the main thing to think about.

Thanks @Drunkpanda. That's good to know. I'm glad you had a special experience.

What is the reason for them advising a c section of you don't mind me asking? It's ultimately your body your choice but obviously you need to do what is best for you and your baby.

Thanks @Iamneverfull. No I don't mind. It's an issue with my heart which means it would be unsafe for both of us potentially.
I understand I don't really have a choice although I am disappointed and slightly mourning the birth I planned in my head which seems so silly when they rarely go to plan. I guess I just need to get my head around a c section really after imagining a labour birth as I know it will be a different experience and not at a time of the baby's choosing so I am interested to know of anyone's tips for before/during/after and if anyone did anything to make it feel special. Music sounds like a nice idea. I quite like the idea of having the curtain dropped to see the baby come out but am not sure if it might be a bit gruesome. How long should I expect to be off my feet for please and will I literally be able to do nothing for myself such as change the baby, lift it up etc? Is the pain manageable usually? Thanks

I've had 3. No's 2 and 3 were special because as electives they were calm and I was prepared and knew exactly what was happening.

I can't compare with a natural birth but compared with an emergency c-section after a long, exhausting and futile labour with the baby becoming increasingly distressed my electives were wonderful experiences.
I've not heard of the screen being dropped and can't imagine wanting it but suppose you could ask.

Your baby will make it special. I hope it goes well for you.

My Cs was actually a great experience, really calm and the doctors are so great at talking you through what’s happening / why there are so many people in the room. The recovery was much easier than I thought too.

Speak to your midwife about the gentle CS, that’s where they pull the baby from you much more slowly, they don’t clean them up right away or cut the cord, they can deliver them straight to your chest while still attached. It’s meant to be a more gentle / natural like experience for the baby as they ease them out slowly.

I had an EMCS and remember under all the drugs / lack of sleep asking for this and the surgeon looked at me like I had 2 heads and went “errr, no, the baby needs to come out NOW”.

But worth looking in to for an elective

I've no reference point as both of mine were sections, but their births were both special for me. Even second time around, the shock of having a whole human being given to me that I'd grown was enormous, and the relief they were healthy... I've never for one money considered the birth would have been more special if they'd come out my vagina.

That said you have options such as dropping the curtain or delayed cord clamping or skin to skin or personalised music playlists. It's up to you, and can be on your birth plan.

You'll be off your feet for 12 hours max, you'll be well able for changing Nappies and lifting things, just not heavy things. I had the sheet lowered to see the baby, it's not gruesome at all, the angle you're at you just see baby being lifted up above you.

I've had two csections. They are what they are. I didn't buy into birth being a magical experience before having DC (which is probably good because I didn't have particularly positive experiences with either pregnancy). But my kids are older now. I don't remember the negatives. I tell them the nice stories I remember about when they were born.

I don't feel cheated or robbed of the fact I didn't push my kids out my vagina. I'm happy to have two healthy children who are alive as am I.

I had a planned c-section a month ago and it honestly was magical (particularly compared to my vaginal birth which was vile).

Google ‘gentle caesarean’ or ‘family-centred caesarean’ for ideas. My hospital basically does a ‘family-centred c-section’ as standard. I had my own playlist playing on Bluetooth speakers in theatre. He was placed on my chest to Eva Cassidy singing ‘what a wonderful world’. The surgeons also told me to push with my stomach muscles as the baby was coming out - it helped squeeze the fluid from his lungs and made me feel more ‘involved’. They dropped the drapes as he was born - don’t worry, you can only see the baby. It just means you and your partner get to see him/her at the same time as the surgeons and you don’t have to wait. I had delayed cord clamping, and skin-to-skin straightaway when the cord was cut (they can position the monitoring stickers so that they don’t obstruct your chest). I’d recommend asking if you can have the baby for skin-to-skin before he/she is cleaned and weighed (assuming there are no concerns about his/her welfare, obviously).

Also, get your partner and the midwife to take loads of photos. I have so many photos and I’m so glad. My favourite photo from the day was taken by the midwife - it’s of the moment the surgeons lifted our son up and out of my tummy. He’s bright pink and screaming his head off. It sounds gross but it’s honestly beautiful (to me anyway!)

Good luck. I loved my caesarean and I really hope you will have a good experience too.

I think you're just as likely to feel disappointed by your birth experience if you have a vaginal birth, and end up needing to be induced or have forceps or more pain relief than you'd planned for. Nothing is certain about giving birth!

I had a c section a week ago and it was wonderful. So calm, had nice music on, everyone very attentive and excellent communication. It took 50 minutes from start to finish. They dropped the drape so saw baby as soon as she was born. Did skin to skin after being checked / weighed.
I had a "natural" birth before and this didn't feel less special but it did feel much less stressful and tiring. Recovery is going well. Milk came in on the Thursday so did formula top ups for a few days but breastfeeding established now.

I had a planned c-section and honestly it was SO much better than my first birth (forceps delivery which I found to be so much more invasive than the c-section).

I think the most important thing is to prepare, prepare, prepare. I've written a blog post here on some of the tips that helped me before and after - hope it's useful for you!

thelondonbump.co.uk/2022/02/12/preparing-for-your-c-section/

Thank you so much @lauralondon22. Really appreciate you sending this...it's so helpful and I will definitely use it!