HATE nipple touching

[Ashchall95]

Hi everyone,

FTM here, due in Feb.

I don't know how to word this in the most suitable way without coming across strange or people not understanding, so be kind.

I'm coming up-to the point in my pregnancy where I can start to look into and collecting colostrum and thinking about our baby feeding options.

But I absolutely hate my nipples being touched/caught/rubbed it goes through me, it isn't a phobia I just don't like it.

When my baby is born will I feel differently? Or will I still be the same, I hate that I feel like this as our breasts are designed for that exact purpose of feeding but because they've never been used for that before I can't relate to it and feel awful, if I don't have a bra on and just catch over my nipple I hate it and feel like I really won't want to massage colostrum out or have my baby on them, I'm so sorry if this offends people or sounds strange but I hope there are other mummy's or mummy's to be out there that can relate!

Without wanting to give you false hopes as everyone is different: I was dreading breastfeeding for similar reasons. I decided I wouldn't put pressure on myself. I'd give it a go and if it didn't work out, it didn't work out. It turned out fine for me and didn't feel weird the way I expected it would.

Well I can't speak for anyone but myself, but I felt similar - probably nor as extreme - but after Ds1 was born it changed.
I had a hard time getting bf established, but it wasn't because of the nip, it was just a bad start I think. Fed for 6 months - when I gave up I went right back to hating it.
Same with next 2 kids, hate nips being touched etc except for the few months post partum when I'm feeding.

So, just my two pence

I'm 100% the same (I often even put plasters over them as I hate it so much). I was actually fine with breastfeeding. Once it ended, went straight back to being the same again unfortunately!

I am the same and tbh I didn't really enjoy breastfeeding, however it wasn't as bad as I had expected and I fed two babies for over a year each so it can't have been that bad!

The thought of colostrum coming out before I gave birth honestly gave me the complete heebbie jeebbies but I bf happily in the delivery room and had no trouble getting colostrum out myself after the birth to syringe feed that night. I bf for thirteen months in the end.

Please look up DMER. I hope BF works out for you but if it’s this it’ll help you feel much less alone. I struggled with BF but for other reasons relating to my DC’s tongue tie rather than my feelings about nipple stimulation.

My nipples get SO angry at being touched, but happily fed my dc for over 7 consecutive years without too much complaint, it's almost always a much more definite sensation. Some babies/ toddlers will try and have a good twiddle of the spare nipple, that was a hard no from me, absolutely not, I'm getting the rage just thinking about it!

@Thissucksmonkeynuts

My nipples get SO angry at being touched, but happily fed my dc for over 7 consecutive years without too much complaint, it's almost always a much more definite sensation. Some babies/ toddlers will try and have a good twiddle of the spare nipple, that was a hard no from me, absolutely not, I'm getting the rage just thinking about it!

Hahaha aww this made me laugh! I feel like I can relate before it's even happened but I wouldn't be able to bare that 'twiddle' 😂

Don't bother harvesting colostrum. It's not necessary.

I was fine breastfeeding, I did hate the nipple twiddling from the older baby while they were nursing though. Sat through many a feed with a hand clamped over the free boob.

Tbh once the getting used sore part is out of the way you don't really feel much if they're latched on properly. We breastfeed, not nipple feed.

I don't like having my nipples touched/brushed either! It gives me a weird anxiety feeling in the pit of my stomach, difficult to explain, I get the same feeling when my belly button is poked if anyone knows what I mean just makes me feel 'off' for a few seconds!

However I love breastfeeding, feels totally different for me, I definitely get the happy hormone release when I breastfeed. But it can go either direction, I know some women get the anxiety feeling from the hormone release too! I don't think it's one size fits all really. Just see how you feel, it will be absolutely fine either way

Another here who hates nipple touching but fed two children (for a combined total of 3 years). It’s different somehow. Don’t overthink it. It will work out or it won’t.

It's a totally different sensation with a baby.

Forget harvesting colostrum though - it's hard, uncomfortable and unnecessary!

@eandz13 I know EXACTLY what you mean about belly button poke. Somehow feels like it's connected to something deep inside and feels awful!

I was exactly the same. I HATE anyone touching my nips and had a really hard time getting BF established (tiny flat nipples - poor baby had nothing to latch onto!). I found nipple shields helped hugely with that, once I got the right sized ones. I’m still bfing at six weeks and plan to continue because it just feels completely different when my son feeds. Initially it pinched but it doesn’t hurt now. I never thought I’d actually like bfing but I sort of do now - at least I don’t hate it and the feeling really isn’t the same as someone touching them. I still don’t want DH to touch them - it’s only ok if it’s the baby. It might not be the same for you and there’s no shame if you decide it’s not right for you guys but I am really glad I persisted.

Agree about colostrum harvesting. I couldn’t do it and it was totally unnecessary anyway.

I’m the same. It makes me feel sick.

I actually have a condition called DMER (dysphoric milk ejection reflex) and I think it’s linked. I didn’t bf my first, partly because of this nipple issue, so it was when I was bf my second (he’s being combination fed) that I discovered my DMER. Basically when I get a letdown or start bf I feel overwhelming sick and just bad for a few minutes. It’s the same with the pump, or even just with a letdown sometimes.

It’s got a lot better now (DS is 10wo) and doesn’t bother me much. I take a big glass of water when it hits and that helps a lot. I’m not going to lie - I haven’t much enjoyed bf. I find it quite satisfying at times but I think part of the reason why I’ve kept going is just sunk cost fallacy - I’ve put so much of myself into it, and endured so much, that I don’t want to stop iyswim. In the beginning I had shocking afterpains (not with my first at all - apparently worse with your second) when bf, he had a horrible painful latch, I bled, and then this DMER, but before I knew it six weeks had passed and it was improving so I carried on.

If you saw me bf now you’d think it looked really intimate and nice but it’s been a hard road and I still can’t face doing it for every feed. I give a lot of formula. However, I am proud of myself for pushing through.

If you don’t want to bf and are concerned about the health effects, look up Dr Joan B Wolf on YouTube. She lectures and writes about bf and how its benefits have been exaggerated.

Also, I use nipple shields and they help

You don't need to express colostrum. It's only usually recommended to do that if there is a reason baby might need it. I never did with dc1. I did in the end with dc2. But also, when expressing colostrum, you don't particularly touch the nipple anyway, you massage the actual boob.
I wouldn't stress yourself our about expressing in advance. And if you want to bf, give it a go. If you don't like it, stop. You don't have to.
I say that as someone who fed ds1 for 13months and ds2 for 18months. Do what works for you.

I have breastfed 4 babies but couldn’t bear to hand express at any point! I’d just be open to breastfeeding for a few days and maybe see how it goes?

I don’t allow the other hand to ‘twiddle’ as I can’t stand it 😆 so it’s definitely an option. I keep the other side covered and hold their other little fidgeting hand and redirect it.

You're definitely not on your own with this one - For me it's just a certain sort of touch/friction. If I'm not wearing a bra and my top gets me in a certain way or before I get dressed and anything catches then. It goes through me like certain sounds do and I get a rush of anxiety for a couple of seconds. I don't know if you're the same but with me it's when I'm not expecting it. Feeding hasn't caused those feelings apart from when he sometimes grabs me unexpectedly or tries to 'twiddle' which I cannot stand stand but it's easy enough to block access. You might be fine - hope so!

I could have written this. I HATE my nipples being lightly touched. Goes right through me. I BF for 2 years though. Took a bit of getting used to but as a PP said it’s a more definite pressure, rather than your partner lightly touching them or playing with them(yuck!) I’ve been expressing colostrum this time and you don’t need to touch the actual nipple, just around them. And because it’s a squeezing type of sensation, it doesn’t annoy me!

I hate it too and did absolutely no hand expressing or fiddling or squeezing or anything at all to get colostrum. The actual feeding was completely fine. When my milk came in my left boob got blocked as DD had a tiny mouth and I was advised to use a pump to clear it: I had to get the midwife to do it while I closed my eyes and went “La La La La” because of the nipple squeamishness, but again: the feeding was fine!

Never did much expressing though

I was the same OP and worried about the same! In a week I will have been breastfeeding a year