As soon as baby's born!

[Ashchall95]

Hi everyone,

FTM here so I'm really sorry if this sounds ridiculously stupid, but I'm sure you've all been there.

So as soon as the babies born and they start crying and they're passed over for skin to skin etc, will the midwives do anything to help calm baby down or explain what they may need? I know it's obvious but if you aren't breastfeeding is one of the first things you do give them there bottle and then just go from there? Nappy changes etc, I'm sure it will all come natural but do you get a little guidance from the midwives or do they just leave you to it from there? Please be kind xx

They scooped up on exit and put on your chest and rubbed with a towel. One of mine cried straight away the second arrived in a rush and took a few seconds to cry. They don’t just leave you to it straight away but I found they wouldn’t give any advice on bottle feeding at all.

So I had c sections but first one baby was cleaned up without me asking and wrapped in a towel, I didn’t actually hear about skin to skin until I was asked with my second but I declined and opted for a clean baby instead lol! Midwives were very helpful with bottle feeding- their sucking reflex means they don’t stop but their stomachs are tiny so you just give them tiny amounts at first. They’ll explain it all! I took a formula starter pack but since they don’t have the full amount in one go they gave me little bottles to use, put the leftover milk in the fridge and provided bowls of hot water for warming whenever I asked. Nappies they offered to do the first ones but we had it covered as there are lots of babies in the family so we’d had practice!

Yes they will help, if the baby is crying and you are struggling with no-one around then ask for help.

I found if the baby was crying I'd check their nappy, offer them a feed, try and get them a nap, play with them or change their situation. Ie take them to a different room, or out for a walk, or out in the car or into a wrap. Then cycle back through it, obvs exclude any physical pain they might be in/temperatures etc

Having a list really helped me as it can be daunting when a baby won't stop crying, it made me feel so helpless!

Skin to skin is a great way to calm a crying baby too!

@Ashchall95 if you're not planning on breastfeeding it'll still be worth allowing them to nurse on the breast when they're born so they can get the really good colostrum. After a few hours you can then stop that and move onto formula. I breastfed my first for a year but I'm planning on doing formula this time but will still give the colostrum.
My daughter didn't cry when she was born. So calm. She breastfed for about 20-30 mins whilst we waited for placenta then my husband held her skin to skin whilst I was stitched up (2nd degree tear).
They midwives helped DH clothe her and they helped me put the nappy on etc

Mine cried as soon as she came out, then was shown to me and taken to be weighed. She came back to me wrapped up, I had a quick cuddle then she went off with her dad to get nappy and clothing on while I was stitched up (CS).
She didn't really cry much for several hours as she was v sleepy.

Don’t worry, you won’t just be expected to get on with it. The midwives will guide you. They will still be there for a while after the baby is born. There’s quite a lot still to do (delivering placenta, cleaning you and baby up, monitoring you and baby). So you definitely won’t be expected to just get on with it on your own. Congratulations by the way.

@Paddingtonsmarmlade

They scooped up on exit and put on your chest and rubbed with a towel. One of mine cried straight away the second arrived in a rush and took a few seconds to cry. They don’t just leave you to it straight away but I found they wouldn’t give any advice on bottle feeding at all.

Not sure about the hospital you giving birth in but the one I give birth in they pushed for the baby to be breastfeed. There was on lady bottle feeding and the midwives was constantly on her back about breastfeeding instead. If you do plan on bottle feeding you need to get pre steralised bottles and ready made milk www.amazon.co.uk/Steribottle-STERI-BIO-140051UK-Biodegradable-5-Pack/dp/B07WCMP2DF/ref=asc_df_B07WCMP2DF/?hvlocphy=9045963&linkCode=df0&hvptwo&psc=1&psc=1&hvnetw=g&hvadid=535969690078&hvpone&hvlocint&th=1&hvpos&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl&hvqmt&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&hvtargid=pla-1393465284450&hvrand=3907829960357176017

Such a magical moment, with both of my two, skin to skin, cried straight away. Enjoy OP.

Dont ever feel that any question you ever ask is stupid. We have all been there.

When mine were born they were quickly cleaned up and lay on me for skin to skin. My breastfed child then fed almost without prompting, i know very lucky, and the midwife gave me a bottle to ffed my bottlefed baby and both midwives supported me in both. After a while they asked to take the babies soi could have a bath etc before moving back to the ward.

The first cry is more of a 'wtf just happened' cry from the baby. They tend to calm down once cuddled by you and they realise you're the same person as they've been inside.

With my first I did expect they'd come and tell me it was time to feed the baby which they didn't. I left it way too long to do the first feed because of that.

With my second I offered the breast as soon as they'd completed the check for any tears. She was 45 mins old and it was the best moment ever. She latched perfectly and I got a gorgeous photo of her feeding.

I'd really recommend trying to do the first feed if you can. The colostrum is great for baby and is a great comfort to them after the excitement of birth. No biggie though if you really don't want to / can't.

When baby was born she was immediately lifted onto my chest for skin to skin. She cried initially then quickly calmed, then it was mine and DH's turn to cry!
They clampled the cord and DH cut it then the midwife delivered the placenta.
While i was having stitches, the student midwife took DD and did all of the initial checks, put a nappy on and dressed her.
I didnt get to hold her again for several hours due to haemorrhaging and falling unconscious and needing intervention.

Once on the ward DD cried so my instinct kicked in and i tried breast feeding. Ill be honest and say I had no idea how to hold her or anything but I tried.
A midwife came in as she heard the crying and helped me get her to latch and talked me through different positions.
I found DD wanted to be held all the time and would be very unhappy in the little perspex crib so i literally held her all night, offering a feed when she was restless.
Midwives generally left me alone unless I physically pressed my buzzer or went and spoke to them.
DH and I changed the first nappy on our own and put DD in a new outfit without help. We managed, even when DD shoved her foot in her poo and weed all over herself when her nappy was off.
The midwives let you get on with things on your own but are available if you need support. You just have to ask.
You will find though that every midwife will have a different way of doing things and all of the advice can be overwhelming to some extent.
Take it on board but find what works for you when you get home.

I had an EmCs with my child 3 years ago. I honestly don’t remember much about those first few hours, I was so exhausted.
A midwife came into our curtain section, in what felt like as soon as I was wheeled to the recovery ward, and asked me if I wanted to breastfeed baby or whether I wanted dad to feed baby with bottle. I chose dad feed baby, despite my longing to be the first one to feed baby. I thought it was quite kind that she gave me those two options, in that moment I felt like I couldn’t move my arms, let alone hold my baby, and she must have sensed that.
After a few hours of unconsciousness I felt strong enough to follow my instincts and I wanted to do everything (with my partner handing me everything). Though the sleep deprivation from a long birth reared its ugly head in the early hours (for me and dp) and baby was taken to the nursery by one of the midwives- again, something I couldn’t imagine allowing before giving birth, but alas, I neither of us was in a condition to care for baby with nearly 5 days of total lack of sleep by that day.

I share this not to scare, but to give realistic expectations of what the first few hours can be like if you don’t have a ‘normal’ birth. I don’t want others to go though the guilt I felt after having my baby, through no fault of my own because of my birth.

I am so grateful for the midwife I had with DD. She was wiped down and put on my chest whilst waiting for the placenta. Midwife then took her to weigh her, she put her nappy on for us before bringing her back over. She told us when she'd need her first feed (bottle fed) which was given by DP and she told us how much DD would probably drink and she helped him (DP had never even held a baby!) We wouldn't have had a clue when to give her milk otherwise or how much we should expect her to have and when.

They will guide you through everything. Don't be afraid to ask for help on the post natal ward. All the midwives were amazing in my experience.

They helped a tad but it will all go by so quickly. My friend had endless questions about her baby when it was born so it seems it will really depend on the hospital and how busy the midwives are on the level of support.

Also, remember that some midwives have opinions and training years prior, so whilst one may suggest bathing baby with Johnson's baby bath a day or two post birth (which I was told) newer advice is not to bathe baby for a good few days (there is a good reason for this but I can't remember!)

An antenatal class is brilliant for the post natal advice, I found. Lots of advice on best ways to clean the first poo, the first signs of hunger in a newborn (rooting) and the fact babies need the first feed no more than an hour after being born, etc. I'd really recommend the NCT antenatal classes if you can afford them (the one I did covered through foetal growth, labour, birth plans and newborns) but if not the hospital will also run sessions which will cover the same sort of stuff. I just liked the NCT which made partners wear the equivalent weight on a backpack at the front to demonstrate what us women were carrying around when we were complaining of a backache! Some real moments of realisation

As another poster wrote you can move onto formula quickly but the first colostrum is the best thing in the world for your baby!